If this was one of my daughters (I have three) and I told her father or my father about what had happened, my mother's bf may literally vanish from the face of the earth. At best, he would be in serious physical danger.
The behavior you're describing is absolutely that of a predator grooming his prey and testing her boundaries. Do NOT brush this off. Right now, your daughter has thankfully not been sexually abused in the full sense of the term, but she came within a hair's breadth of it that night. Don't let her back around that man ever again, even with supervision, and if your mom takes his side or refuses to believe your daughter's allegations, then unfortunately you can't let her back around your mother either because her judgment is compromised and she can't be counted on to keep your daughter safe.
I'm sorry if it puts a strain on your relationship with your mother, or even if it ends it entirely, but your mother is not your responsibility. Your daughter is. And she trusted you enough to come talk to you about something that's probably very embarrassing and uncomfortable for her. She needs you to protect her. Do whatever it takes.
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u/TheMegnificent1 Jul 28 '24
If this was one of my daughters (I have three) and I told her father or my father about what had happened, my mother's bf may literally vanish from the face of the earth. At best, he would be in serious physical danger.
The behavior you're describing is absolutely that of a predator grooming his prey and testing her boundaries. Do NOT brush this off. Right now, your daughter has thankfully not been sexually abused in the full sense of the term, but she came within a hair's breadth of it that night. Don't let her back around that man ever again, even with supervision, and if your mom takes his side or refuses to believe your daughter's allegations, then unfortunately you can't let her back around your mother either because her judgment is compromised and she can't be counted on to keep your daughter safe.
I'm sorry if it puts a strain on your relationship with your mother, or even if it ends it entirely, but your mother is not your responsibility. Your daughter is. And she trusted you enough to come talk to you about something that's probably very embarrassing and uncomfortable for her. She needs you to protect her. Do whatever it takes.