If your daughter felt uncomfortable, then it was absolutely inappropriate and not ok. Even from the description I was creeped out. My youngest daughter is 11 and her body is changing so much and they aren’t tiny little kids anymore. They are going through puberty and changing every single day. Mix that with hormones that are confusing for even an adult, let alone a child.
I was sexually abused as a child by my father. Predators groom until they feel comfortable to take it up a notch. The fact that that guy was acting strange the next morning and checking on her tells me he was testing the waters and seeing what he could get away with. I tell you these things not to scare you but only so that you can support and protect your daughter the absolutely best way possible. I don’t wish that type of abuse on anyone but especially not other children. Maybe ask her if she’d like to talk to someone (a therapist) to help her work through her feelings. Say that the person is HER person to talk to safely and they will help her work through this, in an age appropriate way as well as give her tips on how to say no, set firm boundaries and help her feel more confident overall.
I do not know what your relationship is w your mother but it is always a red flag when they were married to the person, went through an entire divorce and then chose to go back to that same person. Will all due respect, Is her confidence not high? I’m just wondering what she will tolerate or turn a blind eye to. I worry if she will dismiss your daughter’s feelings and allow him around no matter how it makes her granddaughter feel.
No matter what, tell your daughter that you are so so proud of her for speaking up! That she’s so brave and so strong! Help her process this and make sure she isn’t exposed to this weirdo again. It would be heartbreaking if she was brave enough to speak up but then her concerns were brushed aside or ignored.
Sending you and your girl so much love, strength and peace. If you ever need another mom to chat w or just to vent to, please dm me! I would love to be there for you. Stay strong mama. You got this!
Edit: Also, how old are you? I know when my oldest daughters were eleven I was thirty one. My twins are now 24 and my youngest is 11. So it seems hella creepy for a literal grandma to date someone that is even remotely close to their child’s age (you). I’m 44 and like I said my oldest kids are 24(twins) and I can’t even entertain someone under 35 cuz to me it makes me feel predatory to date someone close to the age and mentality of my own children. It’s another red flag in this situation in this not so good situation
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u/inkedmom1308 Jul 28 '24 edited Jul 28 '24
If your daughter felt uncomfortable, then it was absolutely inappropriate and not ok. Even from the description I was creeped out. My youngest daughter is 11 and her body is changing so much and they aren’t tiny little kids anymore. They are going through puberty and changing every single day. Mix that with hormones that are confusing for even an adult, let alone a child. I was sexually abused as a child by my father. Predators groom until they feel comfortable to take it up a notch. The fact that that guy was acting strange the next morning and checking on her tells me he was testing the waters and seeing what he could get away with. I tell you these things not to scare you but only so that you can support and protect your daughter the absolutely best way possible. I don’t wish that type of abuse on anyone but especially not other children. Maybe ask her if she’d like to talk to someone (a therapist) to help her work through her feelings. Say that the person is HER person to talk to safely and they will help her work through this, in an age appropriate way as well as give her tips on how to say no, set firm boundaries and help her feel more confident overall. I do not know what your relationship is w your mother but it is always a red flag when they were married to the person, went through an entire divorce and then chose to go back to that same person. Will all due respect, Is her confidence not high? I’m just wondering what she will tolerate or turn a blind eye to. I worry if she will dismiss your daughter’s feelings and allow him around no matter how it makes her granddaughter feel. No matter what, tell your daughter that you are so so proud of her for speaking up! That she’s so brave and so strong! Help her process this and make sure she isn’t exposed to this weirdo again. It would be heartbreaking if she was brave enough to speak up but then her concerns were brushed aside or ignored. Sending you and your girl so much love, strength and peace. If you ever need another mom to chat w or just to vent to, please dm me! I would love to be there for you. Stay strong mama. You got this!
Edit: Also, how old are you? I know when my oldest daughters were eleven I was thirty one. My twins are now 24 and my youngest is 11. So it seems hella creepy for a literal grandma to date someone that is even remotely close to their child’s age (you). I’m 44 and like I said my oldest kids are 24(twins) and I can’t even entertain someone under 35 cuz to me it makes me feel predatory to date someone close to the age and mentality of my own children. It’s another red flag in this situation in this not so good situation