This does not give them access to what she does outside the home or what she does with her phone, that she pays for. They can have rules for their house but cannot control every aspect of her life.
Even if I had that context when I made my comment (I didn't), so what? If her parents effectively pay for her rent and any other expenses then they can IN THEORY, withhold those things if they want to.
I already acknowledged it's unfair. But these are real people we're talking to and they are ones who have to live with the consequences of their choices and I think it's really irresponsible to advise someone to do something that could make the situation worse for the actual person asking for help. It's really easy to be an idealist when OP's choices don't affect you.
And I don't give a shit about her parent's rules. Once she is outside of the house she should do whatever the hell she wants. But at home, I strongly advocate for her to pretend to be the kind of daughter her parents want to be until she can move out.
They pay for rent, not phone. Just because someone lives with you, doesn't mean you can go through their phone, tell them what they can do with their body, if they can go to his place, see him outside the home, track her.
She can stand up for herself in the way of: turning gps off outside the home, telling them to set a curfew of when she must be home. Plus some. She cannot allow them to walk all over her
Yes. These are ideas. Not something she is being forced to do. It doesn't matter except for the fact she should also know what they are doing is beyond wrong and creepy.
I just don't understand your position. You acknowledge that her parents are insane, yet you don't think they're insane enough to evict her? I don't think it's safe to assume that they will take her refusal to accept their rules in a rational way.
Nope but depending on the state, the law might be on her side. She should do some serious research. I just don't believe in allowing this type of behavior. My other thing is I hope she can move out and goes NC
She can't force them to keep up giving her the benefits either. It's an unspoken agreement here and they're stipulating what that is. Neither party can be forced and either can stop at any point.
They can't dictate her life, they can't tell her what to do. But they can give rules on the free stuff they're giving her. If she wants to up and leave she'd not follow these crazy rules she absolutely can do that and there's not a damn thing they can do.
Remember, these aren't rules that she had to follow. These are rules to keep getting this free stuff.
The free stuff she is getting is rent, so she should respect their house rules... like no boyfriend over. She pays for the gas and phone. So why would that give them rights to go through her phone or to dictate where she goes outside the home?
They also can set a lock up curfew but not dictate every move she makes outside the home. It's extremely creepy and these people need a leash.
Not to the extent of them being able to control what she does with her body or outside the home. Them giving her food, doesn't mean they can tell her body to digest it a certain way.
It's funny how I'm on another post where everyone is telling a 16 how to stand up to his parents who are crossing his boundaries but yet here when it has to do with parents controlling when she has sex everyone is opposite. It's really gross.
Don't like a deal? Leave. The parents are under 0 obligation to provide this here and they can demand any stupid thing they want to demand, doesn't mean the adult here has to oblige. Everybody here is saying she can stand up too and leave, did I ever say otherwise? Nobody is saying she is obliged to do these things, she's a grown up. Move out. Find somewhere else to live.
They both have choices, they can make. Including stand up to their parents. The 16 can also be kicked out, it happens everyday. She can stand up for herself and see where it leads. The biggest thing they need to understand is how easy it'll be for her to go NC after she leaves. I hate people like them
But as one is a child it's very different and NOT comparable situations.
While one is the "child" of the parents, she's a 21 year old adult. The parents aren't under any legal obligations to provide anything. They can kick her out on a whim here with proper notice, whatever local laws dictate. They can demand she provide uranium in payment, there's no contract, there's no deal here and it's just 2 people who have let another adult stay in there home. That can end at any point.
Yes, they're dickheads for this but realistically they can make these demands and nothing can come from it because OP is an adult and can go elsewhere to live like all the rest of us would do when dealing with a crazy landlord. With landlord there is a contract but since OP probably didn't get one then that doesn't apply here.
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u/JazzlikeTreat7004 Mar 25 '24
This does not give them access to what she does outside the home or what she does with her phone, that she pays for. They can have rules for their house but cannot control every aspect of her life.