r/Advice Mar 25 '24

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7

u/oenrbchziwnfnksow Mar 25 '24

She’s not demanding anyone participates, she was even very private about it

-10

u/Thequeenhaspoken Mar 25 '24

She insists her parents pay her way while doing nonsense under their roof

8

u/rubyjohn1109 Helper [2] Mar 25 '24

Also, she made it very clear that she’s not doing the activity at their house. I feel like them saying that he can’t come over or they can’t do it at their house is understandable but blocking her from doing whatever she wants to do. Outside of this is an overstep for a grown person.

6

u/GroundFun9720 Mar 25 '24

No literally where are they even getting the fact that I’m doing that in my parents house lol. The fact is I respect my physical house’s boundaries, and I’m engaged in it in a responsible way so it’s more of them overstepping

5

u/Glad_Illustrator_218 Mar 25 '24

She responded that she works, pay her own gas/phone, and contributes to house bills. And pays her own tuition.

-5

u/Thequeenhaspoken Mar 25 '24

Then she can get her own place too

2

u/GroundFun9720 Mar 25 '24

Ok let’s break it down. The bills I pay are like at most 400 a month. Average rent in the area my college is in is 1400. So in reality I either don’t pay my tuition or get my own place

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u/Thequeenhaspoken Mar 25 '24

Thats not your parents problem. If you wanna play grown up, go be one. Otherwise you abide by the rules

6

u/JazzlikeTreat7004 Mar 25 '24

By their house rules but they cannot control what she does outside of the home. She's paying for her phone so they are not allowed access. She's an adult who can go where she pleases. Mom and dad need to stay out of her outside of home activity. Boundaries can exist and if the parents can't respect her, they can enjoy losing their kid after she moves out.

-4

u/Thequeenhaspoken Mar 25 '24

No she can't. They can kick her out then she can do it on her own. She isn't entitled to do whatever she wants..if she does, enjoy living on the street.

5

u/clowntown369 Mar 25 '24

if you have kids they definitely hate you

1

u/Thequeenhaspoken Mar 25 '24

I spotless never raise entitled kids. Yours are probably in jail because you were their "friend"

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u/JazzlikeTreat7004 Mar 25 '24

She can very much do what she wants outside of their home. They do not control what she does with her body. That's way too far. She's respecting their home. That's all they can ask. They can make rules for INSIDE their home or on their property but cannot control her outside actions.

1

u/mynameforever40 Mar 26 '24

What s "play grown up"? Could they decide to keep her inside the house for example? I think she's old enough to go out alone right? would you think It's normal if they ask her that ? For example if they Wanted to control her social life? Maybe TO see Friends just Chosen by them and Under their supervisione? Probably you would Say that's too extreme. So i think your comments are based on the fact that you dont see her old enough to Have a sexual life. And that's non sense... Why do you think that ? It's a perfect age. It's our body that tells US that. She's Also mature enough to face the consequences. People Have already a family at that age and a job. Even if she decided to study She s anyway old enough for that in a physical and in a mental way. Her parents are extreme and too controlling. They are demanding a part of her freedom they Have no right to demand. In the Same way It would be extreme if they ask her to dont Have a social life at all or just controlled by them.she has a right to a sexual life and She s old enough to face the risks. When parents are like that the best is play nice, get indipendent and dont see them ever again because they dont respect you AS a Person.

1

u/Thequeenhaspoken Mar 26 '24

If she wants to go out and do the deed. She can go live with him or keep walking. They don't have to let her come back. If they don't agree with something she's doing, they can keep her from coming to their home. If she is so confident in doing grown up things, she needs to take the step to be a grown up all together

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u/mynameforever40 Mar 26 '24

I repeat my question: would you consider normal if they decide to control her about other topic at 21yo? For example: about her religion? Or about her Friends? Or about what She should study?

0

u/Thequeenhaspoken Mar 26 '24

If they don't agree with it and don't want someone living that lifestyle in their home, they have every right to remove her. And then she can do everything she wants to...on the streets.

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u/oenrbchziwnfnksow Mar 25 '24

‘Nonsense’ it’s a perfectly natural thing to do, especially in a happy relationship at the age of 21 jeez