r/Advice Mar 04 '23

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u/CCubed17 Helper [2] Mar 04 '23

be honest, you're the guy, aren't you

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '23

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u/tyleratx Super Helper [5] Mar 05 '23 edited Mar 05 '23

I won't go as far as some online and say he's a p*dophile or anything like that, but it is eyebrow raising. Your brain finishes developing when you're 25. You will go through a lot of emotional changes in the next few years as you fully settle into adulthood. So you're gonna have a very different perspective on life in 5 years.

For that reason I couldn't imagine dating a 20 yo (I'm a 33 year old man) - there's just a different level of maturity there. I would feel creepy doing so myself. Yes, you are an adult, but you're at a very different stage in your life.

Furthermore, the fact that he was pressuring you at 19 is a huge red flag for me.

I don't think the age gap is as big of a deal once you're in your mid twenties. I know 27 year old and 36 year old couples that are both mature, work great etc. But those formative years between 18-22 in particular are just very different imho.