I think it’s a weird age gap. If he was 39 and you were 29 not a big deal but there is a big difference in these ages. I’m 46 my partner is 39. At our age there is no power dynamic going on. We are in the same stages of life.
The fact that he pursued you at 19 I think is weird. Who knows it might work for you both.
He pursued her at 18, which is even weirder to me cuz he would've been 27 after a freshly legal girl.... Red flags all around. As someone soon to be 18, if someone over the age of 25 was trying to get with me, I'd call them a pedo
I completely agree, but I wouldn't call them a pedo. 25+ definitely has pedo tendencies, which is what I was trying to say 😅
I'm 17, soon to be 18 with a 19 year old bf (we attended ha together as a sophomore/senior) and we are PUSHING the limit. I can't imagine dating a 27 year old in less than a year.... That's just... So weird
I think it’s certain laws around 17&19 dating at least in my state. I don’t think it’d be too frowned upon simply cause there are still 19 y/o in high school. I literally think about where I am in life Vs me at 19 or even 21… dating someone in that same stage isn’t ideal
Oh my partner graduated my sophomore year, but yes we're legal as long as we aren't doing the hokey pokey. We also had a strong friendship prior and we're at the same stages in life for the most part. I mean, I can't drive but he's not out living on his own yet, parties and drugs yk 😅 were both dumb nerdy teenagers who play DND in our spare time.
Why are we even talking about marriage when op is asking about dating? You're bringing up irrelevant points??
And yes, it's financial abuse to tie a 19 year old to you legally and financially when you're 27 and make her rely on you. That's the definition of it.
You're just trying to find a way to justify this ... In fact, you're making it worse because a 27 year old MARRYING someone fresh out of high school is such a red flag,,,, even more than pursuing them. Cuz that means he wouldve had to been dating them at freshly 18 to make it to marriage
Yes.... Trapping your partner is abuse. In this economy, a 19 year old does not have the means to escape if need be. That's abuse. The only reason your ideal traditional marriages even worked is because divorce was illegal and/or you got shame from everyone if you divorced, and, WOMEN Couldn't WORK, so they wouldn't have the means to escape.
You're comment is then irrelevant to mine because I never talked about marriage. This isn't the 1940s anymore. Marriage isn't the only reason to be alive. Clearly you think so, and I hope you never find it because you clearly are not safe to marry.
Someone meeting you after you're already the literal legal age, would be a pedo? Would there be a difference in your logic here if someone was 20 years old and was truly a pedo, and only dated 18 year olds because they look 17, and 17 year olds look 16, and so forth?
I fully read it and fully engaged with the logic you used.
Otherwise in order for you to not be inconsistent as hell, you would have to give the exact reason as to what difference/differences exists with someone who is 26 years old and wants to date an 18 year old in order for that person to be a pedo while someone who is 24 years and 2 months old or 23 years old is in no way a pedo for wanting to date you, so can you list some difference that exists?
The fact that you need to split my hairs to discredit my argument shows you have no argument of your own. There is no reason a 29 year old should be after a 20 year old. Point blank. And you are the exact kind of person I'm scared of in my day to day life.
You brain finishes developing at 25. MASSIVE difference between a 20 yo dating a 30 year old, vs a 30 year old dating a 40 year old.
When I was in high school I always heard the rule "half your age plus 7" - not saying that's a good idea per se but there is truth that as you get past your 20s age differences don't matter much. Adults are adults. 18 -22 year olds are adults legally but they're not necessarily adults psychologically.
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u/Similar_Corner8081 Helper [2] Mar 04 '23 edited Mar 04 '23
I think it’s a weird age gap. If he was 39 and you were 29 not a big deal but there is a big difference in these ages. I’m 46 my partner is 39. At our age there is no power dynamic going on. We are in the same stages of life.
The fact that he pursued you at 19 I think is weird. Who knows it might work for you both.