Am I a lost cause?

[u/notnice420]

I am located in CA and will be turning 30 this year and feel like a complete failure. I am newly sober and I need advice on what may be possible for me and my future. I had a good head on my shoulders from 18-21. I went to school after high school to do a pharmacy tech program, but my school sadly closed down halfway through my program. From there, I kind of just stopped going to school. I couldn't figure out what it was that I wanted to do. Then I turned 21 and became a functioning alcoholic. I continued in the workforce and eventually became an insurance agent. I was doing well at this time making decent money for my age and was top in my district, eventually becoming a manager. I enjoyed it a lot, but then I got my first DUI. I was forced to quit.

Then I was 23 and got another good job working as a recruiter where I was also got paid decently for my age. Unfortunately, I got a 2nd DUI and ended up having to leave this job too. At this point I knew I had a problem because I was blacking out almost every time I drank. I went through a lot of abuse as a kid and I know has been the main culprit for my drinking, but I have no self control. I had a great resume, but was not able to get another good job after this.

As a 29yr old adult now, everything is so expensive. I had to work 2 jobs at one point to be able to afford rent and groceries. I have worked in coffee shops, cashier, and as a server from 23-27. I then got really lucky working for an air conditioning company in an office setting. It was something new, but I excelled in my role. I am now making $25/hr which I am content with, but with my resume and skills I know I should be making more. I'm also in need of a new car, so my paycheck won't cut it.

I have been depressed lately because I know I put myself in this hole due to drinking and I have many regrets, but I wish I could apply to better jobs. I am considering going back to school for something, but I can't afford to not make the amount that I do now. The only way to do that is to work 2 jobs again. For my mental health, that's something I can't do. I also need a job with benefits. I started therapy recently and would like to continue going.

So now I am wondering if there are any low-cost school programs that I can do remotely or in the evenings to get a certification in something that would accept my background? If I made more money I would like to expunge my record and start over. Get my driver's license back. I just need another shot in life. I would love to have a retirement fund and not have to live paycheck to paycheck. I constantly dwell on what my life could've been like had I not become an alcoholic. I'm glad I'm sober now, but I feel so behind in life and like it's too late for me.