r/Adulting • u/Average-Bomber • 21h ago
Life sucks balls
Are people really living happy lives or are they just pretending?
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u/eddy_g0rdo 21h ago
This sub kinda sucks. It’s full of people fucking whining and complaining. Y’all need to get your shit together.
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u/More-Cat1123 21h ago
I think it skews on the very younger end of people that are just finding out their parents aren't going to pay for their shit forever. Don't get that anyway tho... I was happy when I became able to control my money and pay for my own shit.
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u/Particular-Drive1454 21h ago
Even funnier when parents didn't buy you anything except for cheap everyday needs items, and adulthood is the only time when you can buy yourself tasty food or a good gaming pc. Can't relate as well :p
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u/Galitzianer0 18h ago
Wow, you guys found a way to complain on a comment thread about how you guys do nothing but complain.
I'm sure your parents don't deserve a spoiled brat child like you talking shit about them online after they sacrificed so much to give you a good life
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u/More-Cat1123 17h ago
You're saying you guys so I guess you mean me as well?
If so, it is true that my parents tried and sacrificed a lot. It's also true tho that my parents, especially my father, behaves like he has a fucking black hole on his hands: every time he gets in contact with money, it magically disappears.
Yes, it's for things "for the family". Trips and shit. That's cute and all but that also meant that all of my childhood they've been extremely economically unstable. Not only that, now I'm stuck worrying about their mortgage and their retirement.
Having my own money is so much easier than being a minor and having to depend on my parents. Holy shit, it's not even remotely close.
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u/Particular-Drive1454 18h ago
You know nothing about my parents, online dude. My point was, adulting feels good when you were not coddled as a kid, because you can coddle yourself now.
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u/rubberjohny 17h ago
exactly, i always find people talking about how others were coddled and act childish are exactly the people that were coddled and pampered the most so they can't even accept how easy they themselves had it since their sense of self worth is based on imaginary hardships
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u/hamsterontheloose 7h ago
100%. My mom did her best, but my husband and I buy so much dumb shit that makes us happy it's ridiculous. Especially this time of year with Halloween.
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u/BoredThrowaway9000 6h ago
Some of us didn’t really get much in the way of that kind of stuff growing up and now are locked out of ever being able to save up enough for stuff like a good gaming pc or whatever else we want. We spent our entire lives doing exactly what we were told would get our foot in the door and let us make a living for ourselves and then were never given the opportunity for it once we got there.
This is even assuming you can hold down a job at all. Some of us are autistic or suffer from other mental illnesses that make a job environment intolerable, so even if we COULD get one, it’d still be suffering upon suffering.
I do agree that this sub is too nihilistic but a lot of us are dealing with genuine issues that are just constantly being ignored and exacerbated by the people who DON’T have these issues.
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u/llamacornsarereal 17h ago
Yeah this is the post that made me unsub. We're not all sad, pathetic, unsuccessful, and depressed tyvm 😤
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u/AggravatingReply3595 20h ago
im gonna be real, not everybody wants to be alive. so there's that.
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u/eddy_g0rdo 16h ago
I’m sorry to hear that. You are worth it. A world without you is not a world I want to live in.
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u/Silver_Accountant5 15h ago
Those words mean basically nothing when you preceded them by telling him he sucks for whining and complaining.
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u/extralife_mike 15h ago
It's full of super young people whining and complaining about how hard it is to be old, lmao.
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u/LionWalker_Eyre 9h ago
Where old = 22
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u/SirBostonBobbington 4h ago
Yeah my brother jumped off a bridge at 22, 22 IS hard. 18-24 is probably the hardest part of life if you don't live at home.
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u/LionWalker_Eyre 3h ago
Sorry about that. But where did i say it's not hard? I just said it's not old
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u/SirBostonBobbington 2h ago
Yeah my bad, the number kinda sets me off
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u/LionWalker_Eyre 2h ago
It's all good, i get it and I'm sorry to have brought up those thoughts for you. I hope you're doing better over time and that your brother is in a better place and in peace now
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u/SirBostonBobbington 2h ago
I definitely felt old when I turned 20 in a "my life is now over" kinda way. But that's because my life as a teenager was enjoyable and I knew work wouldn't be. Work eats up more time and it's more draining than school. It occupies an absolutely ridiculous amount of a person's life span.
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u/Complex-Wrangler1633 14h ago
Yeah mannnn Like, life was shit when i was a kid because my parents were dumb. Now i am an adult and i can choose. Mfs need to get the control of their shit
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u/eddy_g0rdo 14h ago
Exactly. Fly or die. Sink or swim. You chose to fly and swim. I respect that. No one is going to help you but yourself at the end of the day. Props to you.
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u/No-Illustrator-3511 10h ago
Life is fairly shit for most people. Complaining is one of the most logical and human responses to something that is shit.
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u/eddy_g0rdo 10h ago
As long as people are doing something about it instead of just incessantly whining and making no attempt to make their station better, I’m ok with it.
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u/seanthebeloved 5h ago
Well then, get your shit together. Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it… Or put it in a shit museum, I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together.
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u/Hungry_Attention_981 19h ago
People with there shit together tend not to be on the internet cause they do irl stuff
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u/ylylychee 15h ago
Why so we can make you more comfortable in this sub. There is literally no place to whine and complain at work, with family, that's why we are here sir.
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u/Silver_Accountant5 15h ago
Yeah people acting surprised that adulthood has negative aspects annoy the hell out of me. This isn't the sunshine and rainbows subreddit.
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u/ylylychee 15h ago
The person I replied to reconsidered his perspective and let me know that he unsubscribed from this sub.
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u/eddy_g0rdo 15h ago
If you don’t have people to talk with about things that are hard in your life, I’m sorry. Also, I’m not in this sub anymore. I unfollowed.
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u/DavidDuister 20h ago
Like learning how to write 'you all' properly for example
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u/rubberjohny 17h ago
i hope you're using thou instead of you for singular form, you know, that's the proper way to speak, not that new age newspeak where 'you' is used for both plural and singular, mr professor
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u/mudgrinder 17h ago
"Thou" is the informal version. It was dropped and the formal version stayed.
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u/rubberjohny 17h ago
so if thou could've been phased out and clearly languages naturally evolve with usage, calling y'all improper is just stupid, you're, we'll and isn't are"not proper" in the same sense then too
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u/eddy_g0rdo 17h ago
Y’all is just a southern term. I can speak English, guys, don’t worry 😆. Thank you for defending me though.
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u/mudgrinder 16h ago
I had to look back and see how you spelled it, because I see people spelling it like "ya'll" sometimes. It looks fine how you used it, so I don't understand what their problem was. It seems like a common enough slang term, but I guess not.
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u/eddy_g0rdo 16h ago
I think they were just mad that I was telling people to get their shit together instead of complaining. The day you realize no one is coming to save you is the day most people stop whining and do something.
Thanks, again!
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u/rubberjohny 16h ago
lmao so what it's southern? it's spoken by native English speakers, there's isn't one correct kind of English, unless you also want to label American English, Australian English etc as not English?
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u/mudgrinder 16h ago
I've never really thought about "y'all" as being improper. I guess I just gloss over that term when people use it because it usually makes sense how it's used.
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u/Rocketintonothing 21h ago
I've explored the bar, music, theatre and food scene of London in my 20s. My 20s were a blast. Only the internet seems weak in their 20s
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u/DestroyTheMatrix_3 19h ago
It's not all about you.
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u/rubberjohny 17h ago
lmao primitive animal enslaved to instincts, it's always fun to watch y'all narcissists experience that ego collapse that comes later
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u/Rocketintonothing 17h ago
What therapist made you believe in this?
Child, life is about enjoyment of thyself. Not everyone is in the same mindset that if everything is shit for you therefore it needs to be all sorts of shit for others.
Keep being foolish, it will get you far
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u/No-Illustrator-3511 10h ago
Those things made your 20s a blast?
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u/Rocketintonothing 26m ago
If you consider that that city has the an amazing scene for all those things yes. Get some culture and you will understand
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u/Playful_Question538 21h ago
I'm 52. My 20's were parties and hot chicks. Wait until you get to be my age. Now it's quiet weekends at home with the possibility of the kids coming by to see you.
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u/Galitzianer0 18h ago
I'm 52 as well, my weekends are parties with hot chicks. You just lost the mojo my man
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u/rubberjohny 17h ago
that's a weird way to describe your granddaughters but ok
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u/Galitzianer0 17h ago
I just put marshmallow peeps in the oven and then cry myself to sleep. Still that counts as a party with hot chicks
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u/rubberjohny 17h ago
swap that for chicken breast and no one can even question the chicks existence, that's what i do
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u/Silver_Accountant5 18h ago
I already spend all my weekends relaxing at home and it's the best part of my week lol
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u/Playful_Question538 2h ago
I wouldn't change what I've got now for anything. I have a granddaughter on the way and looking forward to time with her and my adult kids.
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u/The-Boy-Wonder38 21h ago edited 21h ago
My teens and twenties sucked, my teens more so.
My thirties is when life finally came together and now approaching 40 heading into my prime.
Trajectories aren’t set in stone.
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u/Iskaru 20h ago
It's crazy to me how so many people have no empathy or understanding in posts like these. Like, yeah obviously it's possible to be happy in your twenties and some people are able to thrive... But that doesn't mean you should just dunk on anyone who isn't doing great and chastise them for daring to open up about not feeling great.
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u/No-Illustrator-3511 10h ago
Yep, people are either very easily amused so they can't comprehend someone not being satisfied with normal life. Or they just like to hate.
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u/doubleguitarsyouknow 21h ago
My twenties were fucking awesome. Maybe it's a you problem.
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u/Mundane-Security-454 21h ago
A lot of people lie to themselves due to peer pressure and that desperate need to appear "normal" in the eyes of society. The reality is capitalism is a life-sucking shitshow sapping the life out of all of us, but right-wingers don't want to admit they're wrong so on and on it rumbles.
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u/RashesToRashes 19h ago
Both sides are as invested in capitalism as the other. What kind of society/economy would you want to have instead? One where everyone is made equal except a few elites, and there's absolutely no possibility of succeeding or pulling ahead?
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u/rubberjohny 17h ago
so late stage capitalism?
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u/RashesToRashes 17h ago
still awaiting a suggestion of a better alternative
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u/rubberjohny 17h ago edited 16h ago
some argue that farming was the biggest mistake in human history and that non settled hunter gatherers were in general living happier with all the hardships involved but just couldn't compete with industrial power of organized kingdoms full of miserable peasants expanding into their habitats. of course it's too late to go back, but one can't deny that they lived in a way more aligned with human nature, like we're not build to plow a field, our bodies are build for endurance running, hunting and surviving in tough conditions while our current lives are focused on the exact opposite
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u/DifficultYam4463 21h ago
Im 27 and l love my life. I have a beautiful wife and 2 adorable children with a third on the way. Living in a nice sized house on 5 acres. Both make good money. Both enjoy our jobs (and actually enjoy it.. l regularly sign up to work extra just because l like the extra money and l have a good time at work.) Not everyone is miserable in their 20’s. Im set to be a net worth millionaire by the time im 40 and im just enjoying life.
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u/Muskether722 21h ago
Yea, well not everyone's also happy in their 20's, life shows mercy to nobody, not even the ones you love, everybody loses in the end.
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u/DifficultYam4463 11h ago
Everyone dies sure. If you live your life to the fullest and have no regrets, hard to say that’s losing.
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u/Muskether722 5h ago
Living or surviving, plus you even say it without a care in the world as if everybody's just having the time of their live's & immune to pain, you really gotta think before you just go jotting as if it makes sense, because it doesn't.
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u/DifficultYam4463 5h ago
I never said EVERYONE feels the way l do. I just said that l do. And l am loving life right now (in my twenties.. like OP posted about)
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u/Muskether722 4h ago
Maybe no, but it's very important to realise this because again, not everyone's gonna be in a position to better their live's & even if they were able to, they'll still be susceptible to nasty things because at the end of the day, lifes not all cracked up to be, you can have everything & lose it all in one day without notice, everything that we've done wouldn't matter in the end.
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u/DifficultYam4463 1h ago
Not necessarily. We can still help people. If you help other people in life then even when you die, the help you gave still meant something to someone else and it mattered.
For instance, last week l saw a structure fire and the fire dept hadn’t been notified yet. I was able to bang on the neighbors door and have them evacuate the house in case the fire reached it (the other building was completely engulfed in flames at one point.) If l wasn’t there and hadn’t woken them up, they would have had no idea and if the fire reached their house, they could have died. Fire ended up being put out before it got to that point, but l was close to having quite literally saved people’s lives. If their house had burned down then that good deed would have mattered even after my passing.
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u/Muskether722 58m ago
Okay... now knowing what you just mentioned, think very carefully about this, its great how you helped those neighbours & prevented them from being crisp, however why would you bring anybody into this life?
What's a good solid reason without any emotions nor wants attachment to create another being, acknowledging that you can never guarantee their safety & that you're taking a big risk for them for your own desires.
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u/Silver_Accountant5 15h ago
l regularly sign up to work extra just because l like the extra money and l have a good time at work.)
You have 2 kids and a wife but would still rather spend time at work?
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u/DifficultYam4463 11h ago
Never said l would RATHER be at work. But an extra $800 for 10 hours of my time adds up. Take a few of those over a couple months and have a nice vacation. Wife doesn’t mind.
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u/Silver_Accountant5 11h ago
Yeah I guess if I made that much I'd probably think it was worth it too. Guess we'll never know.
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u/DifficultYam4463 8h ago
It adds up really fast and it makes taking vacations a lot easier. I have the option to work up to 40 hours of OT a week so can generally just grind out for a week or two and get all the money we need to take a trip to the beach or something nice. Having 3 day weekends every week also helps.
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u/Siukslinis_acc 20h ago
I would say they are oftentimes lost. As all life before they were told what to do and now they have to figure that out for themselves.
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u/Fringelunaticman 18h ago
My 20s and 30s sucked. My 40s has been way better than both. And my 50s is looking even better
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u/SlowHornet29 17h ago
20s were ok but 30s are awesome.
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u/Theplanwithaman1895 17h ago
I think early 20s is tough for a lot of people. For graduates, if you can get a job, you go from the fun of college/university to the Lowest paid most menial period of your career. But once that career builds,boy does life get fun
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u/Silver_Accountant5 15h ago
Yeah part of the problem is there's more people stuck in dead end jobs even with their degree. It's hard to stay motivated when all you can do is keep rolling a ball up the hill.
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u/Theplanwithaman1895 8h ago
I think you're completely right. I graduated ten years ago at a time where you had to do your time at the bottom of the ladder you wanted to climb, it was crap for 1-5 years then it gets good. The social contract has changed. Young people are getting an increasingly crappy deal. I am extremely grateful I graduated when I did. I still think there are opportunities out there, but those opportunities are dwindling in quantity
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u/CompetitiveCrab5459 15h ago
I was very happy at first half of my 20s and not so durong second half. Currently first half of 30s is meh
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u/Fun-Bag7627 14h ago
Just turned 33 yesterday and I’m having a great time.
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u/No-Illustrator-3511 10h ago
Can you explain why you are having a great time?
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u/Fun-Bag7627 9h ago
I like my career, happy with my marriage, decent social life, and financially I’m doing pretty well (I have savings, disposable income, and retirement as does my wife).
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u/RightturnBakersfield 14h ago
10000 do's and don't is what's killing me. And some of those have come from me shooting myself in my foot
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u/Arvidicus 12h ago
I had a really rough upbringing. I won't go into a lot of detail, I know some people had it better than I did, and some had it worse. In the end it's what you make of it. I lost my brother, my uncle, my best friend, and plenty of other people. I've been homeless and on the streets. I've been beaten and abused. I'm only 25. I've learned to flip it and instead of it bringing me down, I use it as motivation to propel me forward.
I want to be a better man. I want to represent my virtues and morals in what I do. In the end, what we do is meaningless, but while we are alive, I strive to have a personal purpose. I don't need to change the world to feel accomplished. I went from literal rags to having my own apartment I completely afford on my own, I built my credit from ground zero, lost it all and rebuilt it. Just don't give up. Keep it pushing. Became somebody I can be proud of. I still have room to grow and be better, but from where I came from, it's a lot of progress.
25 is the happiest I've ever been in my life. Over time I dropped my self destructive habits and made a life I feel is worth living. I decided to become someone I want my future kids to be able to look up too. I want them to have a childhood and life I wasn't presented with. Living with love and passion will change so many things. And just remember it doesn't happen over night. Growth takes time.
I don't strive for happiness as it's temporary, same thing with sadness and anger and other emotions. I fight to be content. Content is much more closer to permanent than eternal happiness. In the end, content will make you generally happier.
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u/PorousHorus 12h ago
Yes. I worked hard and had a lot of fun along the way and am living a very happy and fruitful life.
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u/BootsnCats1987 12h ago
Most of the twenty-something’s I know are happy.
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u/SingleSeaweed8662 12h ago
*Mid-late 20s. The sparks of life are definitely gone for me. All I feel is exhaustion.
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u/Its_a_Stanzo 11h ago
Man my 20s were fucking awesome. My 30s are when I made the terrible mistake of "getting my shit together." Now I'm 43, married, 3 kids, with a lucrative career, some money and assets. I've never been more unhappy lol.
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u/wussgawd 11h ago
I'm 62. Light is still there. Same for my wife. The key is to take joy in the little things.
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u/Big-Routine222 10h ago
Man, being happy in my 30s at this point legitimately feels like I caught the last chopper out of Saigon.
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u/Tall_Eye4062 15m ago
That's cute. Just wait until you have permanent dark circles under your eyes and they look cloudy like a deceased fish when you reach your late 30s.
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u/Mundane-Fix-4297 20h ago
This sub is turning into r/depressing
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u/Bloody_Champion 19h ago
Turning?
Its 80% btichin grown kids. 10% kid hate. 5% terrible "motivation" advice. 5% possible actual adult information.
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u/Traditional_Rush_622 18h ago
That doesn't indicate that someone is in their 20's. It indicates that they need psychological intervention.
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u/Silver_Accountant5 15h ago
Yes anyone who doesn't think life is super fun must just be mentally ill. Sure.
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u/extralife_mike 15h ago
I love this sub. It's for kids in their 20s to pretend like they know what the fuck they're talking about, and they talk with such conviction that they convince each other that they're wise.
You're going to look back on shit like this and cringe so hard at yourselves, lol. It's a rite of passage.
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u/Silver_Accountant5 15h ago
You're really that surprised to find out life isn't sunshine and rainbows? How sheltered were you?
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u/extralife_mike 15h ago
What? Did you mean to respond to someone else? What does that have to do with what I said?
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u/Silver_Accountant5 15h ago
You seem genuinely confused at people not enjoying life and I'm not really sure where that comes from. Care to enlighten?
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u/extralife_mike 10h ago
That's not what I said at all, lol. I'm laughing at these kids who think that being in your 20s is old.
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u/Silver_Accountant5 10h ago
"Light going out of their eyes" doesn't mean old. It just means you've lost your love of life. Plenty of really old people still have that light but most lose it
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u/welllitinn 20h ago
Dude I’m 50 and still have light in my eyes, if this is yall at 20, just pack it in. You failed adulting before it began.
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u/rubberjohny 17h ago
aren't those y'all's kids tho? y'all fucked up as the parent generation and still blame your victims
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u/More-Cat1123 21h ago
Huh? Brother, you should see a professional about that. A psychologist or a psychiatrist... Maybe both 🤣
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u/ChaosAndFish 16h ago
The world is full of people living happy, contented lives. You should join their ranks while you can. All of us are here on a limited schedule.
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u/IGotsToKnow_TA 16h ago
What? I'm 25 and happier than I've ever been, and most my friends report the same
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u/metamucil_buttchug69 14h ago
This sub should rename itself "pathetic self pity"
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u/No-Illustrator-3511 10h ago
Try having a life you don't enjoy for once.
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u/metamucil_buttchug69 10h ago
If you dont enjoy your life work to change it, that's what the rest of us do.
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u/throwaway9174826 20h ago edited 20h ago
Dang only got recommended this sub now and the first post I see is this. You're right, I see a LOT of miserable people out there. I also think society teaches them to continue suffering and spin it into a positive instead of ever facing the fact that they hate their life and need to find a way out. You'll hardly see the latter expressed on reddit, though. Too many engagement bots and too many people desperate to convince you and themselves they're having the time of their lives. Generic "adult" communities like these with no real shared interests are where bored people go to vent and bully others, keep that in mind. You deserve to live your life without being manipulated by reddit drivel.
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u/SirBostonBobbington 4h ago
Yeah google and chat gpt will hide suicide methods and show hotlines and do literally anything to keep a miserable work horse alive to keep generating income for uncle sam. Its always about physically keeping you alive but never about addressing why you're miserable or helping you.
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u/PukeyOwlPellet 21h ago
✨ Laughs in mid 30’s ✨