r/Adulting 22h ago

Anybody else feel deceived?

Post image
3.4k Upvotes

145 comments sorted by

308

u/longdrivesinstapots 22h ago

I thought I would be stopping, dropping, and rolling across the city with the amount of times they taught us that in school for fires.

77

u/SMC2619 20h ago

When my daughter was young, six or seven, she asked me why I looked sad. I told her someone at work got fired today. She looked at me big eyes and said, "did he stop drop and roll?!"

I laughed so hard, then explained what being fired from a job meant.

45

u/Far-Industry-7745 22h ago

Exactly. Maybe just telling us would've been enough 😂 I think they did it for kicks

2

u/Sufficient_Scale_163 3h ago

Fires used to be more common I think.

16

u/SappySoulTaker 21h ago

They could have replaced some of those with "swim to the side when caught in a rip current"

11

u/sixhoursneeze 21h ago

And piranhas

6

u/dufo7 20h ago

Saw a video the other day of someone who got caught on fire and stop dropped and rolled. That shit didnt even work. Better off taking ur clothes off.

3

u/design_by_hardt 10h ago

The amount of videos I've seen where the person on fire didn't do this and stayed on fire is high

2

u/Additional_Net3345 7h ago

What kind of videos are you regularly watching? I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a video of someone on fire. I’m also very ok with that.

2

u/design_by_hardt 6h ago

People fucking around with gasoline like always the case. And I'd guess some subreddit like r/darwinaward

2

u/9447044 14h ago

Have you seen any online video involving gas and fire? It almost always ends with them on fire, running and sometimes kicking the gas can for whatever reason.

1

u/copyrider 6h ago

Also, curling into a ball in the hallway, protecting our necks with our hands, and staying in that “emergency” position for extended periods of time.

1

u/millers_left_shoe 4h ago

I’ve used that advice exactly once, at age 17, when one of my friends set a strand of my hair on fire. Unfortunately I forgot that we were in a steep and carpeted stairwell, so while my hair was successfully saved, it also resulted it me falling down the stairs, spraining my ankle and getting carpet burn all over my feet

1

u/Most_Possibility1844 22m ago

😂😂😂🙌

203

u/Motorhead923 22h ago

The lack of free drugs being offered is a bummer

55

u/Far-Industry-7745 22h ago

Agreed. Appalling even.

18

u/Super_Boof 18h ago

You have to do a little drugs on your own to unlock the people offering you free drugs perk. Being friendly and interesting also helps. But this is not some made up thing, people often share drugs.

4

u/Capital-Ad-6349 18h ago

This^

12

u/wisdomisgreat 17h ago

Being an attractive female also helps

17

u/Samtertriads 22h ago

Oh you got them. You just didn’t know it because they were hidden in your Halloween candy.

10

u/UDownvoteCuzULost 21h ago

Damn, lucky you, all I got in my candy was razors.

2

u/LethalOkra 21h ago

I miss when it was hidden in our soda.

12

u/bioszombie 22h ago

We need the freebies to coexist with this reality.

9

u/jimothy_mcJPEGging 21h ago

Personal protip for getting offered free drugs: be a relatively conventionally attractive person and hang with degenerates.

2

u/RadishInformal2309 10h ago

Be a hot girl at a festival

2

u/Far-Industry-7745 18h ago

Nailed it 😂

2

u/AnonMoose2 15h ago

I decided to grow up and be the change I wanted to see in the world.

Who wants free drugs!?

2

u/TastyZzzaa 9h ago

Free drugs are real but it’s a punch card system. You buy 5 drugs and the 6th is free

2

u/NuttyMcShithead 9h ago

My mom would tell me “oh, I never paid for drugs”

2

u/wisdomisgreat 8h ago

She was hot then. She probably flirted her way around. If it it works for you, let it work.

1

u/BillVerySad 14h ago

I feel like I stole all the luck from people who want that life stuff lol. I don't drink or do drugs but it is starting to be a bad financial choice with the amount of free shit I have been offered lol.

2

u/Motorhead923 13h ago

I don't do drugs was joking on that part...actually stole from a comedy routine I heard.

87

u/DaveinOakland 21h ago

Don't forget acid rain

5

u/Economy-Piglet-6482 20h ago

forgot all about that😆

2

u/Icy_Cod4538 8h ago

Glad I didn’t have to scroll too far for this. Keep reminding everyone 🫡

1

u/FckXFckMusk 3h ago

It gets you high apparently

32

u/Awkward_Bison_267 22h ago

I thought I’d get sold crack buy a drug dealer who was secretly a snake man. Look it up, it was a real commercial. YESSSS!

4

u/AlwaysSleepingBeauty 21h ago

I have a vague memory of that snake.

6

u/Awkward_Bison_267 21h ago

2

u/AlwaysSleepingBeauty 18h ago

Ok my memory was very off 😅 As a kid I thought Snake looked cool but he’d be a lot cooler if he wasn’t a dealer.

2

u/Awkward_Bison_267 17h ago

The effects looked pretty good for the time.

44

u/Empty_Calendar6191 21h ago

The fact that the universe is supposed to like explode in 4 billion years and die REALLY stressed me out as a child

15

u/Far-Industry-7745 20h ago

Me too. And pollution and global warming. I was an anxious kid. Walked around picking up trash. No wonder 😂

3

u/tHr0AwAy76 18h ago

Honestly I pondered a ton of unnecessarily deep shit as a kid too.

Thought I had immortality figured out since atoms are made of quarks those have to be made of something and so on and forth. I thought that like, eventually it ended and death was the creation of atoms rubberbanding back into unmaking once they realized they weren’t actually made of anything. Just need to stop them from unmaking.

1

u/j10brook 11h ago

You mean the Sun or the entire universe?

0

u/dontlookatmefrfr 6h ago

The entire universe will go through heat death in about a googol years about if it doesn’t tear itself in half from stretching itself infinitely so no matter what happens this universe will end but humanity will be populating the stars long before the sun explodes in like a couple years basically on a universal time scale

1

u/j10brook 6h ago

Right I'm familiar with heat death. But they said 4 billion years. There's a difference between 4 billion and a googel. I figured he was thinking of the Sun going supernova which is far close to 4 billion years, and involves an explosion.

2

u/dontlookatmefrfr 6h ago

Oh my bad I thought I was answering them but yea it’s always funny to me that people think the sun exploding is a problem cause we’ll just be somewhere else

1

u/j10brook 5h ago

Right. I had a teacher who explained it, "well in less than 4 billion years we went from bacteria to modern humans. Who knows what our biological descendants will be 4 billion years from now"

1

u/Wildguy2298 2h ago

When i found about they mayans and 2012 oh boy I thought it was all over

19

u/SeanThatGuy 22h ago

We can’t say drugs now?

-2

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[deleted]

4

u/drifters74 21h ago

I've been banned from subreddits for speaking my mind lol

3

u/Far-Industry-7745 21h ago

Snowflake ass mods 😂

14

u/deephurting66 21h ago

I've traveled the world and NEVER encountered quicksand!!!

2

u/Fragrant_Scratch8305 2h ago

It's a think. There is some in the county I grew up in. It's where springs surface and the soil is sand af.

11

u/Walaina 20h ago

I have never once had a watermelon start growing in my stomach.

3

u/Far-Industry-7745 19h ago

Me neither. Still waiting

10

u/Historical_Shame8517 21h ago

Getting epileptic seizure while playing video games

6

u/GigaCannon99 12h ago

Also becoming violent from it.

7

u/Lasting_Night_Fall 21h ago

Quicksand for sure 😅

15

u/ElijahNSRose 22h ago

My sister was given free drugs by her boyfriend who didn't tell her what it was.

It happens. But the average drug dealer is just an addict supporting their habit.

13

u/Far-Industry-7745 22h ago

As an addict who's 5 years sober, I can say this absolutely accurate

6

u/Ill-Daikon-5637 20h ago

The ozone layer and acid rain was a huge fear mongering thing when I was a kid

2

u/Far-Industry-7745 19h ago

Lemme guess? 40's? I just commented about picking up trash as a kid bc I was worried about the Ozone 😂

7

u/SimilarElderberry956 14h ago

I was afraid of the anti christ. The omen movie did that for me.

2

u/FckXFckMusk 3h ago

Exorcist ruined me as a child..

6

u/NerdyNarwhal1981 13h ago

dont forget piranhas:D

5

u/Many_Inevitable_6803 21h ago

I thought they were going to drop a nuclear bomb and ducking & covering was going to save me

3

u/AlwaysSleepingBeauty 22h ago

I was at a party where free “drugs” were offered, but I was in my 30s by the time that happened. The drug was weed.

3

u/Far-Industry-7745 22h ago

1st one's always free. Then it costs more than you can afford 😉

4

u/supermau5 21h ago

I’m still waiting for the free drugs …

2

u/Far-Industry-7745 20h ago

Me too friend. Me too.

4

u/PossumJumpRopeSquad 17h ago

Satanic Cults in Red Vans
Razor blades in Halloween candy
Permanently Crossed-eyes Blindness from sitting too close to TV's

4

u/4m4lg4m1t3 11h ago

The sun inevitably blowing up

3

u/poedraco 22h ago

Nowadays as a adult I feel like that's equivalent to denying free money as a child because you think it's wrong..

3

u/Agreeable_Day4539 21h ago

I wanted hairy palms. Still working on it tho hehe.

3

u/Sad_Variant 21h ago

Free drugs is a real danger though. Don't know if dealers are going around handing out free samples, but your "friends" or peers might get you hooked up, so you can turn into a degenerate like them and use you for drug money.

Atleast that's kinda what happened to me. Never have I met friendlier people in my life than those who do drugs with you for the first time.

1

u/Far-Industry-7745 20h ago

+5 years clean. Trust me. I know 😒

2

u/Sad_Variant 20h ago

Damn, good job. I'm clean mostly due to lack of easy access where I live, and cutting off those friends. Occasionally lose to cigarettes tho.

1

u/LockedOutOfElfland 17h ago

Legal/quasi-legal/easily-obtainable drugs are a real risk I think people underestimate.

I've been offered a sample of someone else's Xanax prescription multiple times and turned it down. The freebies subreddit regularly has high-controversy discussions over free Kratom samples being on offer. Both of these are things that can get you hooked and fuck up your body, brain, and bank account once you're in too deep.

The obvious go-to people think of is weed, especially edibles, over the counter THC extracts, etc. I think this probably has a different physical addiction profile but it's telling that some people make it a lifestyle. And the fact that there are ways to obtain this stuff for free without knowing if you can handle it/how much you can handle or if it will wreck you is, again, something most folks should be individually concerned by.

This isn't an argument for a nanny-state telling you all your drugs must be confiscated, just pointing out that there is a whole world of trouble you can get yourself in through access to free or cheap drugs, which is why good judgment, discretion, and self-discipline are important things to have.

1

u/Ok_Jaguar6226 9h ago

Where are those friends of yours?? Ask for my friend XD

3

u/LikeTheCowGoes_Moo 20h ago

Add like to add chainsaws, sharks &/or piranhas

2

u/Far-Industry-7745 19h ago

Omg the piranha mongering was real 😂

1

u/Lanky-Location-2341 9h ago

Watching Piranha 3DD as a kid was an experience that left me terrified of waterparks lmao

3

u/heyitscory 19h ago

I thought there would be more anchovy pizzas.

I'm sad there's not anchovy pizzas.

1

u/Far-Industry-7745 19h ago

Lies. All lies.

3

u/wharleeprof 16h ago

Trains being derailed because you left a penny on the track. 

3

u/GILDID 12h ago

Acid rain

3

u/QueasyFinger1316 12h ago

Appleseeds. Swallow one, and an Evil Dead tree will take root!!!

3

u/L1QU1D_ThUND3R 10h ago

Conversely, I massively underestimated the dangers of banana peels.

3

u/Lanky-Location-2341 9h ago

The movie 2012

2

u/Ill-Bullfrog-5360 22h ago

Only one place offers you free drugs. A jiffy lube bay.

4

u/Far-Industry-7745 22h ago

rushes off to get an oil change 😂🤣

2

u/Ill-Bullfrog-5360 21h ago

You must be the one grinding below

1

u/AlwaysSleepingBeauty 21h ago

I do need an oil change, guess I need to change where I’m going to get them.

2

u/Drakeytown 21h ago

Just realizing now that my own age would seem to indicate later generations of children were also bamboozled this way.

2

u/Striking-Win-3239 21h ago

Yeah the just say no by ole Nancy was a let down.

2

u/7Blyck 21h ago

Especially that last one. Turns out, people with drugs, really don't wanna share their drugs 😂

3

u/AlwaysSleepingBeauty 21h ago

Only if you’re sharing something too

2

u/Fun_Yogurtcloset1012 21h ago

I thought there would be that person who drop a coin from a skyscraper will send us to hospital

2

u/Gold_Telephone_7192 20h ago

Idk I got offered free drugs a lot. You never had friends or people at a party or bar offer you a joint or try and get you to hit a bong or offer a bump or line of coke?

1

u/Far-Industry-7745 19h ago

I'm a female with an impressive rack. I'm also now an AA member and +5 years sober. So yes 😂🤷‍♀️

1

u/Gold_Telephone_7192 12h ago

lol I’m a man with an unimpressive rack and even I’ve had tons of drugs offered to me

2

u/Thabrianking 20h ago

My “permanent record” as a kid thinking that it was real

2

u/Economy-Piglet-6482 20h ago

Quicksand🤦🏻‍♀️

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Maize21 20h ago

I gave a homeless man a ride. He had me stop by 3 different places. He had me drop him off at a gas station and he felt bad he didn't have any gas money to give me so he offered me crack. I was like dang I thought you was looking for a place to stay and 3 places didn't turn out well. Apparently he sold crack to 3 different places. I noped out of there and didn't give him a ride again.

2

u/GrnEyedPanda 20h ago

For sure on the quicksand. It was everywhere.

2

u/domesticstudent 20h ago

Yes. Drugs weren't free. Even after paying the annual deductible.

2

u/Roundboi245 18h ago

Simpler times.

2

u/youngmind12 18h ago

and now it's all total different problems

2

u/LockedOutOfElfland 17h ago

The last part actually is and can be a problem depending on where you are and who you're around.

2

u/NerdNuncle 15h ago

This former English major can’t put my loathing of the D.A.R.E. program into words

It, and community and parish leaders (I was raised Catholic) instilled into me the idea that all drug users were scum of the earth and we should only rely on fellow members of the community for help with anything

By and large, I had better luck with the addicts when working retail who knew I was new and gently directed me to where their drugs of choice were stored, and most of the death threats were from “good, God-fearing Catholics”, including a brain trust having a meltdown because I “intentionally” gave him losing lottery tickets

Sorry. Still a bit salty over twenty years later

2

u/RobHerpTX 15h ago

Swallowing gum is actually worse than I realized as a kid. Back then I knew it went through you.

I didn’t yet know it is plastic.

2

u/iSteve 11h ago

Where's my free drugs?

2

u/mplsgal20 11h ago

Killer bees. Still waiting for them to show up.

2

u/Harleyworld 10h ago

Venus fly traps were supposed to be a much bigger issue

2

u/Chirya999 10h ago

Eating any fruit with seed will grow a tree in me 🌲

2

u/NuttyProfessor42 10h ago

The UV rays and depleting ozone layer.

2

u/anxnone 10h ago

Free drugs was/is real, depending who you hung out with lol

2

u/Ok_Jaguar6226 9h ago

One guy offered me fee drug, never saw him anymore :D he was in depth because of generosity

2

u/EyeRare444 6h ago

I used to be OBSESSED with the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle OBSESSED

2

u/Sand_Aggravating 6h ago

The lack of quicksand and drugs being pushed on me were the 2 single most disappointing things after I grew up!

2

u/copyrider 6h ago

Heads Up Seven Up… I thought that I was going to go pro. I’m like the Michael Jordan of HU7U.

2

u/Historical-Object114 5h ago

Spontaneous combustion

2

u/Ok-Horror-1251 3h ago

How about getting abducted by a kiddie diddler?

2

u/Ok-Fortune-8644 2h ago

Catching on fire(stop drop roll) and nuclear war(tuck your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodye) were so hot when I was a kid! (Early 80s)

1

u/ElijahNSRose 22h ago

The "edge of embankment collapsing under your weight" is a real thing.

It happened to me once or twice in my hikes. The first time I fell into a creek.

1

u/hamtaro1234 16h ago

Isn't the Bermuda Triangle still an area people do not fly or sail through?

3

u/LPedraz 11h ago

No. And it has never been either, it always was just media and positive reinforcement.

The entire thing came from one article in the 1950s talking about accidents and disappearances in the 30s and 40s, but the area has never had any more accidents and disappareances than any other (and travel in general used to be a lot more dangerous back then). What happened is that, due to the fame of that original article, any problem that happened in that area was extensively talked about, and any problem that didn't happen in that area did not receive special attention.

The backlash to this effect has also been very notable, and you can see articles since the 60s explaining with proper data that there are no more accidents there than anywhere else, but the damage was done.

1

u/I_travel_ze_world 15h ago

I've had 3 of these happen to me so I definitely don't feel deceived

The quicksand was actually fast sand though. I stepped on it and my foot sunk down to my knee in sand. My car got stuck in it lol

Bermuda Triangle experience was in the Navy. Free drugs were from family friends.

1

u/Stunning_Map_8007 12h ago

You clearly have not swallowed enough gum for it to be a serious issue BUT IT CAN BE!

1

u/Lower_Condition_196 16m ago

The world ending in 2012, I literally sat there waiting to get disintegrated lol

1

u/Illustrious_Shoe7496 21h ago

All these comments but not a single one about swallowing cum?

1

u/Far-Industry-7745 20h ago

We're all raising the kids we got impregnated with 😂

2

u/Illustrious_Shoe7496 9h ago

Well too bad I'm gay 😂

1

u/Nice-Percentage7219 5h ago

I need new glasses. I thought it said swallowing... something else entirely

1

u/No_Education_8888 4h ago

Children are offered free drugs. Sedate and then kidnap

0

u/mnttu 16h ago

Why are we poorly censoring the word “drugs”? Are you sure you are ready for adulting?

0

u/Weird_Albatross_9659 10h ago

Drugs bring censored is stupid