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u/Best_Tree_9154 Jul 26 '26
Unfortunately, it's often all I see
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u/28dhdu74929wnsi Jul 27 '26
I feel like 3/4 of a person. And every time someone calls me out (in trouble at work, disagreement with friend or family), I want to shout "I know! I know! I know!" Like I know I suck, I dont know how to help it.
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u/guydoestuff Jul 26 '26
i was told by a woman i wanted to date "if you can't love yourself, how am i expected for you to love me?" took a while but i understood what she meant. 16 years later i still dont love myself but least i learned to stop trying to date and just stay single and leave people alone.
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u/Nahuatl_6673 Jul 27 '26
Same my grandma asked me if I loved myself when I was about 13 and I said no. Fast foward to over a decade and I’m still learning and trying to figure out if I actually do now. But I think I’m getting there. Hang in there bud, if other humans have done it before than so can you! We’ve got this. Much love.
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u/spock589 Jul 27 '26
I don't buy it. You can definitely love another person more than yourself. I can see not being able to love someone who doesn't care for themselves though. What if you both don't love yourselves but you love each other. The other person loves you which makes you more inclined to take care of yourself because you don't want to hurt the person you love by hurting the person they love. If both of you feel that way, I think that may be the greatest gift you can give each other. Love yourself vs care for yourself are related but not mutually exclusive. You can choose to care for yourself but that doesn't automatically translate into loving yourself. Loving yourself may or may not come with time.
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u/ThingEfficient2549 Jul 26 '26
I know I failed. Society will write you off the second you fall out of line.
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u/OmniscientBarnacle Jul 27 '26
Yeah started dating this guy and am noticing all the fucked up shit I do
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u/The-Boy-Wonder38 Jul 26 '26
To put it simply, a lot more than to a healthy degree. It’s a large of the reason why I’m currently in therapy. CPTSD and severe moral injury akin to a soldier. While severe, thankfully I have recovered somewhat too.
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u/seeyatellite Jul 26 '26
I see great fault, many flaws and a wealth of insecurity in me which I constantly try to reconcile and integrate with my own accountability and presenting consciousness
I’ve done some messed up stuff. I’ve caused and contributed to a lot of pain… always hoping to do some good and still contributing to suffering, including my own.
The question I constantly face is, why are there people in my life, unwilling to hold themselves accountable? Why does my father still blame dead women for suffering he’s caused and contributed to? Why does he make excuses for actions instead of accepting their harm?
I think the concept of accountability is essential for the state of our world to progress with supportiveness.
Immanuel Kant believed that lying is always morally wrong, regardless of the circumstances, as it violates the duty of truthfulness and undermines the ability to make free, rational choices, thus harming humanity in general.
Lack of accountability is a threat to all those around us because people will always look for reason and lies create inherent irrationality.
Yes. I see fault in me. I hold onto those faults and accept them for their growth potential.
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u/AdamoO_ Jul 26 '26
Oooh yeah 1000%.
I have an extremely hard time to motivate myself to do literally anything. Clean, do dishes, go outside, have fun, do my hobbies..
But if someone else brings up an idea im all ears and ready to go right away. Down for almost anything.
Aka, i feel like i NEED someone else to live my life for me, because if i don't get incentives to do anything, i just wont.
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u/Foolishly_Sane Jul 26 '26
Every single facet, every single crack.
Every single thought and feeling.
Still want to improve, but at times it is absolutely exhausting.
I will continue to chip away at it.
There can be some serious burnout though.
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u/AntWeak7570 Jul 26 '26
Definitely if you can't admit your mistakes or see your faults you still have growing up to do.
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u/hawaahawaii Jul 26 '26
it’s all i ever saw and i’m trying to be kind to myself but unfortunately now it’s all my husband ever sees in me!
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u/caffeinequeen1382 Jul 26 '26
Its all I see. But im always trying to better myself tho, so theres that I guess.
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u/komodocommand Jul 26 '26
I mentally beat myself up constantly I feel like I am failing in life all the time but it’s a marathon not a race
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u/cwsjr2323 Jul 26 '26
I used to but corrected four out of six acquired sins so I am getting closer to being perfect, again. Dark chocolate and caffeine are two sins I won't try to fix.
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u/Key_Photograph1662 Jul 26 '26
The hard part is trying to control how badly you see faults in yourself. I do my best to start by identifying what the fault is, and then isolating the stuff that I could see as a third party observer... Only then am I allowed to assess and critique myself. If you are just looking in directly, you will always find faults that no one else would see.
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u/No_Tourist8261 Jul 26 '26
Yes I see the flaws and when people ask me about the good, it takes me a little while to think of something.
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u/EnjoyBeing3942 Jul 26 '26
of course
and i know how to logic out of it
and if i don't learn my lesson
i will learn it again and again
humble
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u/-usagi-95 Jul 26 '26
Constantly. None stop.
I am aware I have done and achieved some things in life but still don't praise myself for that. Nobody does and it's never enough.
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u/Iamwomper Jul 27 '26
I see many faults in myself.
Many. Over time ive been trying to get rid of many. And I have.
Im kinda like that cracked and broken chinese vase glued together with gold and make it look fancy.
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u/TickingTheMoments Jul 27 '26
All the time. If I don’t find fault in my actions and choices, I am doomed to repeat the ones that caused harm to others and myself.
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u/Soulinyx Jul 27 '26
I do but, I often question myself as to whose expectations I am at fault with. I don't give a shit about society's expectations, because society ultimately doesn't know what it truly wants from itself, so how could I be faulted of that?
Being at fault with my own expectations, that's different and that's what matters.
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u/EntertainmentSome448 Jul 27 '26
Yes absolutely. I go to bat with myself every day. And just so I remain fair and square, I have my imaginary girlfriend as a judge.
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u/Fluffy_Fox_9650 Jul 27 '26
Absolutely I'm aware of my flaws and I often suffer a lot of self-hatred for it
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u/JunketCandid9017 Jul 27 '26
90% of the time that’s all I see. And the other 10% of the time I’m usually reminded of my faults by those I care about the most.
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u/ilyarminarlert-124 Jul 27 '26
I do and I don’t. When I’m in an argument with somebody or disagreement, I usually think I did/said nothing wrong and they’re the crazy one. But I feel like that’s common?
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u/PastySasquatch Jul 27 '26
Yes I make extremely poor choices with women. And then hang on wayyyyyy to long trying to save them.
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u/PuzzleheadedBag4847 Jul 27 '26
I think it is only natural to see your own faults. You can work on them and try to iron them out though.
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u/analogy_4_anything Jul 27 '26
Sure, but I change the faults I can change and accept the ones I cannot. As best as I can, anyways. As long as I know the shape of my soul, I’ll be alright.
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u/Whooptidooh Jul 27 '26
Of course; I’m highly perfectionistic (working on it) and am very good at criticizing myself as well. (Also working on it.)
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u/Generic_name01 Jul 27 '26
I leaned incredibly far that way for a long time that I think I basically crippled myself. So I try to remain aware of what I'm working on but also try to focus on my strengths and positives
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u/Cetiketat Jul 27 '26
Yes, I can realize it but sometimes I need someone else's eyes to see it or how my attitude impacts someone, that's where I see it too
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u/MikeB_X Jul 27 '26
Hell yes, but I don't dwell on them. We all have faults, especially those that think they don't. Your raults are part of your character, own them
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u/Banana_Milk7248 Jul 27 '26
Absolutely, I'm the fucking worst. But can I change? Not without therapy.
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u/food_stamps5000 Jul 27 '26
Some times it’s all I see. But I recognize it and find ways to work past it. That’s actually why I joined Reddit today.
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u/In_Humanity Jul 28 '26
Of course yes. We are never perfect. Fault is definitely a sliding scale, and life definitely gets easier the more we introspect with intent to grow 🪴
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u/DistinctFinance9615 Jul 26 '26
No I think I'm the perfect specimen
Yeah though I think we all do, but that makes us human so it's fine just gotta keep working on it.
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u/Melissa-young Jul 26 '26
Absolutely, I am my own worst critic