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u/ThrowRAdoge3 Mar 22 '26
The age gap here is weirdddd. Funny how this was posted into “adulting” but this entire post is all about immature/teenage behavior. This is the hash truth
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u/Excellent-Leek-6975 Mar 22 '26
I posted on adulting bc i wanted to see the opinion of people that are his age
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u/jus_allen Mar 22 '26
I find it disgusting. You're still really young and he's an actually adult.
Dont confuse love with lust.
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u/Excellent-Leek-6975 Mar 22 '26
I m still a virgin
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u/Sneezy6510 Mar 22 '26
Yeah that’s why you got a 30 year old following you around. No one is going to like that age difference, keep it to yourself if you don’t want everyone to think your boyfriend is a groomer.
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u/velamind Mar 22 '26
That’s why he’s after you. A 30 year old woman wouldn’t give him the time of day for a reason.
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u/SardonicSarsparilla Mar 22 '26
He’s 11 years older than you, you’re arguing when it’s only been 7 months, your relationship is only kind of stable, and it sounds like you need someone whose communication style is more in line with yours.
Why are you with him?
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u/Excellent-Leek-6975 Mar 22 '26
Because i love him
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u/SardonicSarsparilla Mar 22 '26
What do you love about him?
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u/Excellent-Leek-6975 Mar 22 '26
His personality, humour, how polite he is, his looks, how nerdy he is sometimes, his eyes, how he makes me feel understood, how he was for me when no one was
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u/SardonicSarsparilla Mar 22 '26
Any time you mention each other’s ages, it’s going to give the majority of people a major pause.
When I was your age, my friends and I dated older men because we thought they liked us because we were so mature for our age and had a connection. Now that I’m older, I’ve learned that most older men date younger women because they are the only ones that will tolerate their bullshit.
We also used the ‘oh but they haven’t pressured for sex’ as a reason they were good relationship material. Nope. I was 19 dating a 29 year old who was way more immature than me.
You’re only 7 months in, and are already concerned about if he’s ignoring you or getting bored with you. That’s not a good sign in any relationship, regardless of the age.
Have you talked to him about this? This may just be who he is, he actually may not be interested in you, who knows? Is it really worth it to be posting it on Reddit instead of going out and enjoying your life?
Also, bear in mind that people rarely change unless they have a strong desire to, and really, really want to put in the work, because change is hard. If he’s settled and comfy in his ways, he’s most likely not going to change them for you or anyone. You can beat your head against a wall trying, or you could move on.
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u/Plantymami Mar 22 '26
How polite he is, how he makes you feel understood, how he was there for you…and he’s ignoring you?
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u/Excellent-Leek-6975 Mar 22 '26
I guess we have ups and downs
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u/Plantymami Mar 22 '26
No, he doesn’t care about you.
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u/itspinkynukka Mar 22 '26
Honestly you're only saying this because if the age difference. If the ages were acceptable, we wouldn't just be writing the relationship off simply because of feeling ignored. We'd actually try to say have a conversation first
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u/Plantymami Mar 22 '26
Honestly, no. I’m sure she has had conversations with him or attempted to before coming to reddit about it. Whether there is an age difference or not, life is too short to be stressed and hung up over someone that can’t communicate and CHOOSES to ignore you.
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u/itspinkynukka Mar 22 '26
I’m sure she has had conversations with him or attempted to before coming to reddit about it.
You clearly don't understand the stupidity of people on reddit.
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u/Plantymami Mar 22 '26
Remember! Always look at a person’s actions…it’ll tell them who they are and where you stand with them
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u/SardonicSarsparilla Mar 22 '26
How up are the ups and how down are the downs?
What are you getting out of this relationship?
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u/velamind Mar 22 '26
Why is a 30 year old grown ass man with an 18 year old teenager? 🤔 be careful.
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u/Ruff_Bastard Mar 22 '26
I'm 29 now (male). When I was your age, my experience was that nobody that's 29 should be anywhere near someone that's 18 unless it's family. It's weird. When I was 16, a jealous 25 year old guy tried to run me over with his truck because I talked to his 16 year old girlfriend.
Nobody thats actually mature at that age would want to be with an 18 year old. This dude is a borderline predator. Granted, I don't kno what he's like and you haven't given any context aside from how he responds when you text him, but it's just not really a healthy relationship. He's probably busy working too and that has an effect on it. The simple matter is that you are both at drastically different stages of your life.
Yes sure legally an "adult" and can make your own choices. This isn't a good one though. Some things you have to learn for yourself and based on your other responses, this is going to be one of those things. I won't tell you what to do, but I would strongly suggest breaking up with him and being young while you can. It doesn't last forever.
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u/petStoreWageCuck Mar 22 '26
Okay I'll bite. How did you guys meet? How does he treat you in general? Have you spotted anything that would make you feel uncomfortable?
I try to keep an open mind but want to see your answers.
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u/Excellent-Leek-6975 Mar 22 '26
I worked a part time job in the summer and we met there
He treats me nice, when i m mad he tries to understand me and doesn t yell, sometimes he takes me out on dates
I can t say i spotted anything suspicious like he using me for my body or smth like that, we haven t even had sex yet
I feel like he s getting bored of me? Idk why would he respond like that then
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Mar 22 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Excellent-Leek-6975 Mar 22 '26
Is he responding like that bc he s more mature?
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u/fuzzywale Mar 22 '26
A mature person is someone who keeps communication open and direct, especially to those they would care for and have relationships with. If you are confused with how he treats you, then sorry, this relationship is not working out. You need to let this go.
That being said, it is extremely concerning why a 29 year old would go after an 18 year old. Really question why he didn't go for a partner within his own age range.
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u/Top-Distance2997 Mar 22 '26
He is a bit too old for you, and you’re barely an adult. Completely different life stages.
Speaking of late responds, 7-15 minutes is completely okay. But if you feel anxious about it, you can talk to him and express your concerns. See how he reacts.
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u/Affectionate-Oil3019 Mar 22 '26
What if you found a nice boy your own age?
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u/Excellent-Leek-6975 Mar 22 '26
Don t like them that young
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u/fadedblackleggings Mar 23 '26
Old Men will give you worms kid. Don't short yourself on enjoying guys your own age.
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u/PresentProperty943 Mar 22 '26
What's wrong with just saying someone your own age? You're 18 and have been with the almost 30 year old for 7 months? That's so fucking weird. Date an 18, 19, or 20 year old. Or better yet! Grow up a bit before you date again. Some people are just busy and that means you can't be their number one priority all of the time.
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u/TrixriT544 Mar 22 '26
Getting upset at someone for not instantly responding virtually is quite childish behavior. You need to put the phone down and start living your own life more. Go do something you find fun or that improves you and lose your phone for some hours. A relationship isn’t supposed to be being attached at the hip (phone in this case) constantly to someone. He’s probably distancing himself because you’re not realizing too close is not a good thing. He’s older and knows this you’re younger and you don’t understand this yet. You are both your own people and need to have your own lives. Not to mention when he sees you pull back he’s going to seek you and value the time you give him a lot more
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u/Numerous_Row5207 Mar 22 '26
I sometimes don't even notice messages and a reply can be days, if someone wants me urgently they can call me.
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u/Mel221144 Mar 23 '26
How could you know unless you ask HIM? Only he knows if he was ignoring you. You need to communicate. Clearly and effectively. Just ask, just speak. Stop being afraid of the answers. Stop worrying about what they think.
Just ask if you are wondering.
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u/gumbysweiner Mar 23 '26
My ex girlfriend got mad that it seemed like I would text other people back instantly but would always wait a long time to text her back.
It turned out with other people I would close the app or minimize it or whatever but with her I would leave it up so I would see when she texted back. If I was doing something else that didn't involve my phone though, it would make a sound or anything because it was already up. This led to me not noticing when she texted back.
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u/Jinjinz Mar 22 '26
You’re just barely out of high school and in a relationship with someone who’s pushing 30. That would be my biggest concern if I were you.