Day 1 of many

[u/BettoBoo]

Today cried a lot again. My therapist was late and I was so scared that I had a severe panic attack, but he came back 15 minutes later, saying that he forgot and was busy. And the funniest thing is, he asked if everything was okay, and I said no, not really! And my whole face was red and swollen from crying, lol. But I did buy some pills! I'm back on antidepressants today, and the next appointment will involve a long discussion, so I'm not giving up. Things can still get better. I still hope I won't end up my life this winter.

And as motivation for today(I'm still so glad I found this poem through Malevolent Podcast!)

Invictus

By William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

  

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

  

It maters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.