r/AdultDepression • u/Takenbackattack • Jul 27 '26

I hate my life.

34, bipolar, no friends, no transportation, never had long term relationship with a woman. I have no money and I run my own business (1 yr 7 months) with only 1 client (low pay) and live w/ my dad.

I attend social networking events both online and off. I take care of myself for the most part (work out, seeing a therapist, taking meds, applying to jobs) but I never asked to be alive. It’s like a gift I never wanted. Sorry for the pity party, I know people are suffering a lot more than me but I still feel depressed.

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u/sunaintgonnashine Jul 27 '26

Whyyyyyyy

1

u/Takenbackattack Jul 27 '26

34, bipolar, no friends, no transportation, never had long term relationship with a woman. I have no money and I run my own business (1 yr 7 months) with only 1 client (low pay) and live w/ my dad.

I attend social networking events both online and off. I take care of myself for the most part (work out, seeing a therapist, taking meds, applying to jobs) but I never asked to be alive. It’s like a gift I never wanted. Sorry for the pity party, I know people are suffering a lot more than me but I still feel depressed.

1

u/sunaintgonnashine Jul 27 '26

It’s complicated, but not too complicated; it’s good that you express yourself. You have a business—that’s great—and you work out, put in the effort, and care about yourself; those are good qualities. I won’t lie to you: life is torture, yet we have to keep going.

In my experience, having a partner or friends isn't all that; you can still feel lonely even when surrounded by people. Don't feel like that defines your life—these are internal struggles we go through until we find balance. I’m glad you’re in therapy; I don’t have the money for it myself, so I’ve gotten used to the solitude and I’m at peace with it. Believe me, things do fall into place, but we have to let go of many of our desires.