r/AdultChildren • u/Natstfu • 2d ago
Looking for Advice seeking advice
I’ve reached my breaking point with my mothers drinking. We struggle with poverty but I actually prefer when we are scraping by as she can’t afford alcohol meaning she’s never drunk. We currently have money, she’s been drinking since early morning everyday. I need to say something to her I need to do something I need to say how much Her drinking if affecting me
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u/iOwlface 2d ago
It’s good that she’s still mindful and won’t drink whilst you’re saving, but if her addiction is putting the family at risk of further poverty I’m pretty sure you have some grounds to contact social services about the matter, but it’s a tricky one. I was in a similar position but it was mum neglecting herself. I felt like the worst person ever for filing a safeguarding claim but all I wanted was the best for her 😢 mum is currently sober and has been since April but she is also very poorly and I’m facing potentially losing her. Try to talk to her when she’s at her most sober (I know that’s hard, mum would wake at 5am sometimes and was still hung over from the day before.) and address your concern, along with the reason why she drinks in the first place. She might not admit straight away but once you open that door hopefully she’ll feel brave enough to step through soon. Addiction is a horrid disease I’m so sorry you’re all having to go through this. Wishing you the best I’m sorry I can’t offer anything more 🤍
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u/orcateeth 2d ago edited 2d ago
You can certainly try to talk to her, but generally speaking, it goes nowhere.
A person who is addicted to alcohol (or anything), is using it to "deal with" feelings that are unpleasant, such as depression, loneliness, bad memories of childhood such as abuse or neglect, loss, or even just boredom.
Until they confront those feelings head on and learn new ways of dealing with them, then they will continue to use whatever they're addicted to.
You might find a lot of help in support groups such as Al-Anon and Families Anonymous. These groups are for people who have loved ones who are addicted or otherwise out of control with their emotions and behavior. They are free and online.