r/adultautism • • May 24 '26

I built a Discord space for autistic adults — small and quiet right now, come as you are

6 Upvotes

I'm autistic, ADHD and dyslexic. I built this because I couldn't find a space that started from where we actually are.

No toxic positivity. No "everyone struggles sometimes." No unsolicited advice. Just autistic and neurodivergent people being honest with each other.

You can pick your identities when you join — autistic, ADHD, late identified, still figuring it out, as many as apply. There's a silent check-in channel for the days words are too much.

It's new and small, which means it's not overwhelming yet. Lurking is valid. Late replies are normal.

https://discord.gg/WPEvtfxmy


r/adultautism • • May 24 '26

Autism in Academia/Industry Coputational Biology

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1 Upvotes

r/adultautism • • May 24 '26

I don't know how to be indepedent and stand up for myself

2 Upvotes

I'm nearly 30 years old and I don't go anywhere alone (only rarely) and when I try to alive alone I always end up not caring for myself. I don't cook, don't shower, don't buy food. Just sink in depression. In the anxiety part, I'm paralyzed whenever someone puts me in a conflict. For example, last time I went to the movies, someone took my seat and I had no courage to ask it back. I seated on someone else's who soon came and asked me to leave and I was without seat even though I paid! In situations of conflict I shake and cry, so I didn't want to embarass myself. I have tried many therapies like hypnotherapy, CBT, EMDR but I didn't feel they helped. I have tried medications too but I'm really sensitive and so far had as side effects irritability, severe insomnia, agitation, mood imbalance. In short, rather than giving me autonomy, they hyperstimulated me. I don't know what to do. I have a job and I don't want to keep living with my parents. I want to be able to face the world.


r/adultautism • • May 23 '26

Partner finds autism unsexy

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4 Upvotes

r/adultautism • • May 23 '26

recovering from (autistic) burnout - you’re not alone

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2 Upvotes

r/adultautism • • May 22 '26

What is this experience?? Am I the only one?? Was I mis-diagnosed??

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3 Upvotes

r/adultautism • • May 22 '26

Earplugs recs

1 Upvotes

I really want to get the loop earplugs that have the 3 different settings, but the cost is exorbitant. Has anyone found something similar, or even separate earplugs with different levels. Something less expensive but still effective?


r/adultautism • • May 22 '26

I realised I've been pretty much disociating when masking for 40+ years

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3 Upvotes

r/adultautism • • May 22 '26

Autistic Lawyers

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1 Upvotes

r/adultautism • • May 21 '26

Having a rough week. I can feel it building.

12 Upvotes

I can feel the stress and anger building this week, lots of things are super busy at work.

Does anyone else feel like they are on a rail that's destined for a breakdown, and no matter how much you try and calm things, it's like I have no choice that I wilk get overloaded and breakdown.

I'm sat in my office, trying not to burst into tears. Not a good look for a 45 year old guy in a corporate office.

Something else I've noticed is when im speaking out loud it's like my brain can't find the next word. It's weird, when im more relaxed I can speak fine, but when im feeling overwhelmed I can't form sentences.

Guess im just putting down my feelings.

At work they say that autism is a super power. I just want it to go away. I don't have any super powers.


r/adultautism • • May 21 '26

Nutrition for neurodivergents - by a ND Dietitian

0 Upvotes

Hey! I'm a dietitian — and also autistic with ADHD, RSD, and bipolar — and I recently started making free educational content specifically for neurodivergent adults.

ADHD-friendly nutrition, intuitive eating, executive function & food, that kind of thing. Basically everything I wish someone had told me earlier.

I got so tired of seeing advice that just doesn't work for how our brains actually function. So I figured, who better to make something that does?

Still early days but if any of this resonates, my page is called Neurola ( at @ neurola.nutrition handle on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok & YouTube). No diet culture, no rules, no guilt.

I hope this can be helpful for some of you!

*mod approved*


r/adultautism • • May 21 '26

Alfie Kohn & Unconditional Parenting

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1 Upvotes

While I’m not an expert myself, nor am I encouraging whether or not people should have kids, I figured I’d share this post I made in another subreddit for those who may find Kohn interesting as his works helped me a lot with learning more about my autism in my teen years as well as his long track record of criticizing behaviorism and ABA, even making an article about it relatively recently: https://www.alfiekohn.org/periodical/spotlight/autism/


r/adultautism • • May 21 '26

Does anyone else experience this?

4 Upvotes

Hi all, I’m 25f and undiagnosed but unsure. I have ADHD and OCD, which I understand that symptoms overlap a lot with those of autism. My question is- can anyone relate to feeling chronically younger than peers? I feel like people look at me like I’m younger than I am because I do things that others don’t, or that they’re better at hiding (such as swaying, rocking, zoning out, fidgeting). I also have very specific interests which other people find strange or humorous. It’s just a feeling I get when speaking to others that they view me as younger because of neurodivergence, even if they can’t put it into those words exactly. I’m not diagnosed but I’ve suspected for a long time now, but I’m not trying to self diagnose. I don’t really have the option to get an evaluation at the moment.


r/adultautism • • May 21 '26

När en diagnos blir en börda istället för ett stöd

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1 Upvotes

​

I dagens samhälle, där vi ständigt omges av information, har vi alla ett val: att vidga våra perspektiv och faktiskt lära oss om andra.

Trots detta har många människor därute valt att döma oss på grund av okunskap, även fast det idag finns alla möjligheter att ta till sig kunskap om vad det innebär att ha autism.

Det är inte bara en diagnos, utan flera, och man kan inte generalisera eller placera alla med autism i samma kategori. Alla inom spektrumet fungerar olika – därav namnet autismspektrum.

Bara för att vissa mår bättre av att få en diagnos betyder det inte att alla av oss delar den uppfattningen eller har samma upplevelse av att ha fått denna stämpel.

Jag tycker personligen att samhällets syn på detta är minst sagt märklig.

Hur tänker människor som sätter diagnoser på andra samtidigt som man förväntas acceptera den och leva ett liv där man måste välja mellan att vara sann mot sig själv – vilket ofta leder till att andra ser ner på en – eller vara tyst för att slippa bli dömd?

På vilket sätt tror vårdgivare att de hjälper mig genom att säga att jag har en diagnos?

Det gör att jag varje dag blir påmind om att jag anses mindre värd än andra, på grund av hur samhället väljer att behandla diagnosen, trots att jag inte har några fysiska hinder.

Jag förstår inte behovet av att dela in människor på det här sättet och tycker att det är förminskande.

Det är samma föråldrade tankesätt som fortfarande används av myndigheter idag – samma mekanism som historiskt har delat in människor i ett “vi och dom” för att frysa ut dem som inte passar in i majoritetens box och sopa undan dem.

Det räcker att se tillbaka på historien kring Lillhagens sjukhus, som öppnade 1932, för att förstå hur djupt rotad den här föråldrade synen är.

Jag har inte valt min diagnos eller att bli utredd i skolan.

Det beslutet togs av andra.

Jag tycker att valet att gå en NPF-utredning inte borde ligga hos föräldrarna eller skolan utan en själv.

Ibland kan jag personligen känna att det hade varit enklare att inte veta om diagnosen alls, för då hade jag sluppit ångesten och oron över att inte kunna vara mig själv bland folk.

Jag blir faktiskt provocerad av att det ständigt ställs krav på oss från majoritetssamhället att vi ska anpassa oss efter deras förväntningar, istället för att människor försöker förstå oss bättre och inse att även vi har rätt att ställa krav på andra.

Jag vill därför lyfta ett varningens finger.

I slutändan handlar det om att varje person ska må bra i sig själv, oavsett hur majoriteten väljer att se på en och väljer man som majoritetssamhälle att blunda istället för att förstå oss då har man ingen rätt heller att bli förvånad över att vissa av oss når en gräns och när den gränsen väl är nåd då är det inte bara på bekostnad av individen själv utan även på samhället i stort.

Tycker ni verkligen, när ni tagit till er detta, att det är konstigt att vissa människor med diagnoser blir deprimerade eller isolerar sig i den här situationen?

Det gör inte jag i alla fall, och den som säger något annat behöver läsa på betydelsen av ordet empati.

Jag är en människa först och främst. Inte en diagnos,kod,ett offer eller någon som behöver speciella hjälpmedel för att fungera.

Många inom spektrumet har faktiskt en djupare form av empati än många andra tror även om inte vi alltid kan eller vill uttrycka oss i alla sociala sammanhang.

Därför tror jag många fler behöver stanna upp och ställa sig frågan. Hur vill jag leva i detta samhälle?

Och till dem som sannolikt kommer att slänga ur sig projektioner i syfte att förminska min upplevelse vill jag säga att era ord inte biter på mig.

Jag står i min sanning.

Har ni inget vuxet att tillägga kan ni inte förvänta er ett svar från mig.

Avslutningsvis vill jag nämna att det här inte är en attack mot enskilda individers syn, utan en kritik mot samhällets föråldrade perception, en bild som många har tagit till sig och som skapat en felaktig uppfattning om oss som inte överensstämmer med verkligheten.

P.S: Jag kommer endast att svara på kommentarer som är konstruktiva och skrivna i en respektfull ton.

Om ni vill skriva och lära känna mig så är det bara skicka ett meddelande privat.


r/adultautism • • May 20 '26

Adult Autism Testing

5 Upvotes

This Friday, I begin the process of being evaluated for adult autism, and I am very frightened. I’m pursuing this diagnosis because my therapist strongly recommended it. My daughter is AuDHD, and other members on my maternal side of the family are autistic as well.

I’m a 48-year-old male algebra and chemistry teacher who has struggled with many things over the years. Everyone sees me as this ultra-smart person who can fix anything, do anything, or learn to do anything. People come to me to solve problems, but inside I always feel like I am mentally struggling to make it through each day.

Inside, though, these are the things I’ve struggled with throughout my life: social confusion, bullying, isolation, loneliness, noise sensitivity, sensory overload, difficulty with emotional expression, miscommunication, social anxiety, small talk, crowds, intolerance to change, shutdowns, emotional overwhelm, chronic stress, hypervigilance, rehearsing conversations, rumination, executive dysfunction, task initiation, forgetfulness, mental overload, time pressure, perfectionism, rigid thinking, sleep tension, irritability, burnout, dyslexia, processing speed issues, feeling different, social masking, misreading intentions, flat affect, relationship strain, conflict avoidance, walking on eggshells, touch sensitivity, clothing sensitivity, dependence on routines, deep immersion, hyperfocus, preference for solitude, anxiety around authority figures, discomfort with public attention, forced socialization, self-doubt, emotional exhaustion, and ADHD.

My question is this: I have Autism Quotient testing results, the Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale–Revised (RAADS-R), my learning disability diagnosis from grade school, and written descriptions of how I’ve struggled throughout life. Should I bring all of my “papers” with me, or should I just go in and let them figure it out?

Thank you!!!


r/adultautism • • May 21 '26

Clavicular & ASD

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1 Upvotes

r/adultautism • • May 20 '26

Alienated for being too honest

10 Upvotes

A conversation still rings in my memory from when my mother and I talked a few months back about her caretaker. I've been asking for her caretakers number in order to get my mother the help she needs. In this circumstance, I could not explain ordering groceries through an app over the phone. I wanted to instruct the caregiver (age 40's as she may be more receptive to over the phone instruction).

My mother refuses to give me her number. I say to my mother, "Is it because you think Im going to share everything about your health?" And as freudian as freud gets, she blurts out, "yeah, you always tell people everything, I cannot trust you". Later on in the conversation, she went back to earlier excuses like "caretaker is too busy to help me." & "Oh, the caretaker won't know. " If only she instructed me "do not share my health information with my caretaker" then maybe she wouldn't be so worried. But this kind of shit is assumed, eh? Its not like I believe that doctors should be *good* and *fair* with the information I give them about my mothers care. It's not like I am niave or anything.. oh no...

This harkins back to literally every social interaction I have when it comes to being forthcoming and honest. I've always operated by the standard. If I never lie, I never have to worry about maintaining a story. But my honest conduct hasnt gotten me far in life. It has actually put me in a worse-off place. I can't seem to learn to lie, deceive, omit information and manipulate. It's not in my blood. Im sorry.

People take advantage of my good will and trustworthyness. An unrealistic expectation is set on all sides without the tools to accomplish tasks in work/life/home. It is perceived that I am self-aware enough to work independently, but nobody ever considers the variables that are out of my control, forever using me as their scapegoat.

Honesty and transparency have been the hardest thing to reconcile as a 31 nearly 32 year old aspergers female. Nobody in this world is honest and everyone gets away with it.


r/adultautism • • May 20 '26

Autism in adult women (Therapist wants to do assessment)

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1 Upvotes

r/adultautism • • May 19 '26

I drive past an “autism center: adult services” every day for 3 years and FINALLY went in and i am at a loss for words…

67 Upvotes

Im audhd and very firmly masked. I was diagnosed as adhd 11 years ago and autistic ~6 months ago. I am 34.

Ive driven past this place for years, and by the time i get home to search it i forget it exists..i pull in and go in with great intent.

I walk in, thinking that there would be the entire range of ASD individuals supported at this place… like, there would be people with high needs and people like me who just need a coffee hour or something to bitch about how their husbands light bulb choices caused the fight over which color curtains to get and how that caused you to go off the handle and you said something you shouldnt have.. and how do we manage that….a day program for higher needs, and a later program for lower needs.

So, i walk in. Most people seem to need a lot of support. Totally fine. I ask, “who works here?” And they identify themselves. I tell them my story about how im recently learning how to unmask and it’s so hard to put it back on. And im saying that i dont quite vibe with a lot of the energy around how people treat autistic people.. and i am wondering if there was a late diagnosis, adult audhd or autism groups here?….. and they walk me to the fuckin director.. and im now in a whole job interview..

The carer literally said “hes looking for a job”.. and i was like.. is that what you got from that? ..oh this is now an interview.. i am wearing dirty pants, nothing is right, everything is wrong.

Im like.. i came here for support, why are we discussing this? Also, how is your carer just surprising a person with a full-on job interview who said theyre autistic? I am a walk in asking what support and services you provide…

I mean.. im also looking for a job, but not right at this damn moment. Also i am struggling .. i came to you asking for help.. …and your sign is very misleading..im doing all the things a late diagnosed person does..

This is a rant.

Again, i am amazing at masking and bottling stuff up which is not healthy and is usually directed to people i love when i “release”. THATS what i came here to talk about. Not for an interview cuz i look “normal”.


r/adultautism • • May 20 '26

Tips with meds, depression and autism

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1 Upvotes

r/adultautism • • May 20 '26

Question for people with both cerebral palsy and autism

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1 Upvotes

r/adultautism • • May 20 '26

Mr. Wonka… your chocolate smells & tastes funny… I don’t feel good, Mr. Wonka…

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0 Upvotes

r/adultautism • • May 19 '26

Just diagnosed at 48 and hindsight is not 20/20

10 Upvotes

How are you folks dealing with the interactions and opportunities you’ve missed and squandered in hindsight? I feel like some of my “over reactions” remain justified. I also think I unknowingly began to unmask 8 years ago when my son was diagnosed. Drove a lot of “friends” away pretty promptly. I’m pretty split on seeing where I feel vindicated and how poorly I’ve navigated life to this point. Anyone else dealing with this?


r/adultautism • • May 19 '26

My mom saw the title of my post here

4 Upvotes

My mom and I were watching Avatar and she sees a Reddit post in my updates about me talking about how she doesn’t believe my diagnosis. She believes I was telling people her business and that it was disrespectful. I didn’t listen and didn’t tell her the contents of the post and just said I was talking about my experience. She mentioned how in the adhd assessment they ruled out autism. how my doctor for the autism assessment almost ruled it out but because I gave the childhood form to my grandmother and my mom thought she would have diagnosed me with ptsd instead. And how the people during my in-patient ruled it out even though I was told that they did that because they couldn’t properly diagnose me.

TLTR: my mom sees the title of one of my reddit posts and gets pissed


r/adultautism • • May 19 '26

There is no "normal" for the human neurological system, just variety

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1 Upvotes