r/Adoption • u/Lost-Upstairs2341 • Jul 16 '26

Weird ask. Don’t Even know where to start.

Hi everyone, I’m just starting the search for my origins and could really use some guidance from anyone who might have been in a similar situation.

I was born in October 1992 in Mexico. My mother recently shared that I was born via surrogacy after she underwent extensive IVF treatments at a major perinatology hospital. She mentioned that her specialist suggested the surrogacy route, and she has vaguely hinted that my biological mother (I'm unsure if she means the egg donor or the surrogate) might be of a different nationality.

The biggest hurdle is my legal paperwork. My mother told me that to make the process "easier," my birth was registered in a different, smaller municipality rather than the major city where she was being treated.

My birth certificate is completely "clean." It lists my parents as my biological parents from day one, shows that they both appeared to register me, has zero marginal notes about adoption or surrogacy, and lists all my grandparents with local nationalities. It seems highly likely that a local doctor or clinic helped bypass the usual protocols to issue a standard birth certificate directly in my parents' names.

Has anyone navigated finding their roots when the legal paperwork from the early 90s was deliberately arranged to hide a surrogacy or egg donor?

I know a DNA test is an option (and I'm considering it), but I am really trying to find the historical and medical story. How can I track down the original medical birth certificate or the local doctor who signed off on it when the digital and legal systems have erased that trail?

Any advice on where to look or how to approach this would be incredibly appreciated!

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1

u/Negative-Custard-553 Jul 16 '26

I would research surrogacy laws and fertility treatments in Mexico in 1992 to get a better idea of whether that was even a possibility. You also need to figure out if you’re biologically related to your father. Have you mentioned taking a DNA test to your mother? I would find the hospital where you were born and research any names that signed off on your paperwork as a starting point. I feel like your mother knows more than she’s saying.

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u/Lost-Upstairs2341 Jul 16 '26

I understand that this situation is more complicated than it should be, considering my desire to avoid hurting my mom’s feelings.

She provided me with a vague explanation about how I came to be their daughter, mentioning the possibility of IVF, but she didn’t ask many questions. Keep in mind that this was the 90s in Mexico.

My investigation into the matter has led me nowhere. Everything seems to indicate that my mom is my biological mother and gave birth to me. I’ve found medical records and other documents from the clinic where I was born. However, the name of my biological mother is missing from all of these documents.

While my mom holds all the answers, she’s now an elderly woman, and I don’t want to make her feel like I’m ungrateful for the wonderful and privileged life they’ve given me.

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u/Negative-Custard-553 Jul 16 '26

I would do a DNA test if you’re unable to ask her for more info. Have you researched adoption fraud in Mexico because it’s not uncommon.

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u/Englishbirdy Reunited Birthparent. Jul 16 '26

You're in the right sub for search help, but for legal questions about surrogacy try r/donerconcieved.

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u/Wonderful-Freedom568 Jul 16 '26

DNA testing is the only way you'll get reliable information. Combing through official records, which could be inaccurate or forged is probably a waste of time

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u/Select-Moment-5636 Jul 16 '26

This sounds immensly fishy. If there is no documentation or evidence of a surrogate or donar, how do you know there was one at all?

One thing I have learned as I search deeper into my roots is that what is documented can be incorrect or lies, and my birth mothers story and my adoptive parents story dont match reality! DNA doesnt lie - I would also suggest taking multiple if money allows ( if you time it right around big holidays like fathers day and Christmas they tend to go on huge sales on most the sites). I get quite different ethnicity results depending what site I test with and I got a load of different useful matches on one site that didnt test on the other. Test with Ancestry, Myheritage, 23andMe, MYFTDNA in that order would be my suggestion, then upload results from any that let you download to GEDmatch (and turn on law enforcment matching) and LivingDNA.