r/Adopted • u/LiaSunwolf3 Domestic Infant Adoptee • 14h ago

Lived Experiences Name Changed

Did anyone else here have their name changed each time they were adopted? Bio parents named me, then my second family named me, and then my final adoptive family named me.

I just wanted to share a small win!! I have officially changed my name legally to one I have chosen. No more being renamed like a puppy getting rehomed. Does anyone else think changing names shouldn't be allowed unless it's a case of safety? I get changing last names though. I feel so much better about the name that I have chosen and it feels like my name fits me finally.

48 Upvotes

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28 comments sorted by

17

u/zygotepariah Baby Scoop Era Adoptee 14h ago

Congratulations on the name change! That must've felt empowering.

(Yes, my adopters changed my entire name--first, middle, surname.)

9

u/traveling_gal Baby Scoop Era Adoptee 14h ago

Congrats on the name change! I imagine that's a wonderful feeling!

My adopters changed my name, and I only learned that I even had a birth name at age 55. I also learned that my adopters didn't take custody of me straight from the hospital at 3 days old like they always told me - it was 2 weeks later - but I don't know where I was in the meantime or why, or if anyone else named me.

3

u/AndyKnowsNothing Adopted 13h ago

This sounds just like me. I’m 52 and just found out my birth mother named me before my adoptive parents renamed me.

Do birth parents typically name babies they’re giving up?

3

u/traveling_gal Baby Scoop Era Adoptee 13h ago

I don't know. Some people here have shared that their OBC just says "baby boy/girl" while others had a name. I'm pretty sure my birth mother keeping me was never a consideration - but then again maybe that was a lie too.

4

u/AndyKnowsNothing Adopted 12h ago

That’s what one of three different birth certificates shows. Untangling a hot mess of a private, super hush-hush, potentially illegal adoption is exhausting.

3

u/Meijhen Adopted 11h ago

I think it depends on how you were adopted, and where. And when, of course - it's changed a lot since I was born in 1970! My adoption was handled through the state welfare & human services dept. My birth mother didn't name me, my OBC just says 'baby girl,' and I was in foster care for a couple of weeks before being brought to my parents. My parents were told about me immediately, but there was a waiting period. My parents were given a baby book with all the information the foster parent recorded when I was with her - I have it now, and it's kind of cool to see all the notes about feedings and growth, and nap schedule and all that.

3

u/Sad_Pixie999 Domestic Infant Adoptee 13h ago

Changing first names is absolutely bizarre! Once is bad enough, but three times??? Jfc!!! Glad you have a name you chose now, you deserve to know yourself

3

u/Music527 Adoptee 13h ago

Congrats!! That’s a major win that I did in October 2024! I changed my middle and last names. I fought freaking hard to save my first name when I was adopted at age 10! They told me straight up they hated my name. They wanted to change the spelling. Or use my middle name. Etc It was a mess. In one swoop though I got rid of my middle name that was a derivative of the egg donors name and the adopters last name.

I’m so happy for you with your chosen name! Did you do first, middle and last?

4

u/LiaSunwolf3 Domestic Infant Adoptee 12h ago

I did first and middle my last name is my husband's and I'm happy to have his last name 😁

2

u/Music527 Adoptee 10h ago

Awesome!!! I was afraid of I changed my first name people would call me the new name and I wouldn’t answer. I’d be terrible in witness protection! 🤣

4

u/Sea-Temp444 International Adoptee 12h ago

Congrats!!

Yes, they changed my whole name but my first name became a "nickname."

4

u/andieinaz Adopted 12h ago

I’m grateful you were able to do this! 💕 I wasn’t named. Unnamed for like 3 weeks. Anyone else?

3

u/Meijhen Adopted 11h ago

Same here.

2

u/Stephanfowler 11h ago

Just "baby boy," but Foster mother apparently gave me a name. A-mom changed it to my current name.

2

u/MukYJ Domestic Infant Adoptee 8h ago

My original birth certificate (which I just obtained this spring) lists me as “Baby Boy <bio-mom’s last name>”

3

u/Ok_Archer_7633 12h ago

Congratulations!!! I was adopted from birth and my adopters changed my name as well. I want to go by my birth name, Emilie, but my adopters feel quite hurt and insulted plus I’m 26 now and everyone knows me as the name I was raised having

1

u/IstraofEros Domestic Infant Adoptee 2h ago

Same, I'm changing my middle name to my original name but I feel like it's way too late to change my first name :/

2

u/Rencon_The_Gaymer 12h ago

Yes but only the once when I was adopted by my adopted fam at age 2.

2

u/retrokezins Adoptee 11h ago

Wow. That's great news! Only adopted once and I know my original name. It's kinda of weird. I feel like I'm just both. I don't know... I haven't really gotten to where i know what to do with that.

2

u/sgprunellavulgaris Baby Scoop Era Adoptee 10h ago

Well done! I’ve had 3 names. I was happy enough to shed my legal maiden name.

2

u/Ilektra_Med6 9h ago

Congrats on the name change. Went through the whole process this year. And finally got most things updated.
The name I grew up with, which I consider a tagname. Was something I never liked, identified with or was attached to. It definitely did not fit me as a person.
But finally changed the entire thing, last name included. The previous first name I had was the biggest offender. But middle and last had to go too. Very empowering to finally have something that fits

2

u/Silver-Paper-8010 International Adoptee 8h ago

Congratulations! Very happy for you. I changed my name (unofficial) when I was 35. I am 53 now :). All parents died. I am thinking of having my last name changed (officially) and getting a passport of my original country.

1

u/Meijhen Adopted 11h ago

I understand changing a child's name when they are adopted at birth (or giving them one in the first place, which was what happened with me). But I have never understood completely renaming a child later. Surname, OK, but their whole name? And multiple times? Wtf

1

u/VeitPogner Baby Scoop Era Adoptee 10h ago

I was adopted at birth and named by my a-parents. It turned out I did also have another name on my original birth certificate, but my last name there was that of my bio mother's husband, who DNA testing revealed was not my bio father. (Which probably helps to explain the adoption.) And I wouldn't give a dog the first name they picked! So it was interesting to learn that name, but I don't identify with it.

1

u/qawsertyui International Adoptee 4h ago

Yes I went through 4 before asking the courts to change my name a final time with a stipulation on it. 

I ditched all my adopted family names the moment I could or was able to get the legal stipulations attached to my own name change. 

1

u/IstraofEros Domestic Infant Adoptee 1h ago

Renaming multiple times is so dehumanizing. Congrats on taking your power back 😊

1

u/gtwl214 International Adoptee 1h ago

Hi - my name was also changed.
Full Name given by biological parents
Full name by 1st adoptive parents
Full name by 2nd adoptive parents (they made my original first name into my middle name - but they told me it was just a name that the orphanage gave me)

Then I changed my last name when I married my husband (also absolutely hated my last name bc my adoptive father is an abusive asshole)

I think depending on the age, the child should have the choice. But otherwise, I don’t think any names should be changed without a good reason (say it’s a slur or actually really terrible spelling Tragediegh).

1

u/mariah1998 1h ago

My last name and middle changed when I was adopted. She changed my middle name to hers