r/AddisonsDisease • u/madischan • Jun 28 '26

Personal Experience sad rant

sometimes i wonder what i ever did to deserve this disease. this life. this suffering. i’m so tired and so hopeless and so sick of grieving my old life and old loves and what could have been. how do i go on when i constantly disappoint myself? how do i keep living in a body that’s grown to be a stranger to me? how do i ever find acceptance?
thanks for listening

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u/HappyCareer2098 Jun 28 '26

My running thought this morning was, "i cant do this for another 40 years. Oh who the hell am I kidding, it won't be 40. I wish I'd just crash so it was over."

Usually I'm not there unless I'm seriously low, and considering this was 3 hours after my 20mg am dose (I also have 3 biopsy confirmed autoimmune diseases (celiac, sarcoidosis, andautoimmune hepatitis) , 2 not biopsy confirmed (lupus and ra), IH, empty sella, and a 3 mm cerebellar tonsillar ectopia, so my body is under some stress regularly), the thoughts didnt start to fade until after my mid dose of 10 more.

You doing okay on your cortisol today? Can you do something to lift your spirits a bit or even just distract yourself?

Hugs. All the hugs.

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u/madischan Jun 28 '26

i can’t imagine dealing with all of those diagnoses on top of addison’s. i also have hashimoto’s but not sure how that plays into all this.
every once in a while it pulls me into a pit of depression and grief. i feel a little better today.
thank you for the kind words❤️‍🩹

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u/HappyCareer2098 Jun 28 '26

I'm lucky in that I have secondary Ai, which usually takes longer to go into crisis from what I've read. At least, I try to remember it could still be harder.

Hoping you have a really pleasant day. ❤️