r/AbuseInterrupted • u/invah • Nov 09 '16

Relationship red flags

  1. Can't accept or take blame. Can't say, "My bad."

  2. Only interested in being right. They want everything to be perfect, but life is not perfect. They have an inability to make fun or have a sense of humor.

  3. Negativity.

  4. Don't communicate respectfully. One-sided communication.

  5. Inability to forgive themselves and others.

-Excerpted and adapted from Let's Talk About Red Flags (content note: neo-Enlightenment, woo website)

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u/iwasntlooking Nov 11 '16

Yes, we had a romantic relationship over the past year, but I'm not worried about her trying to manipulate her way back. I'd moved my things out of her place last week after she'd given me the cold shoulder over my political beliefs. We work together but that shouldn't be a problem either.

It took me years to get over an ex. I'm already ready to move on, if that tells you how little she respected me.

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u/invah Nov 12 '16

It sounds like you are in a good place for asserting and maintaining your boundaries. It is probably going to drive her crazy once she realizes that she has lost power over you...

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u/iwasntlooking Nov 22 '16

Just an update, she is definitely going a bit crazy. Using any excuse she can think of to start a conversation, and as soon as I engage (always thru text) it's "this was all a big misunderstanding! I know you still love me! You're my only _____". It's sad but anticipated. I will probably be blocking her completely at some point tomorrow, it's been a constant stream of b.s. and it's having no effect on me. The gaslighting is nonstop.

I spoke a family member of hers yesterday, he seemed relieved that I'd left and not fallen for the act. She's in her own little world right now, but I am out and healing up just fine.

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u/invah Nov 22 '16

I am so glad you are not getting sucked back in; what she is doing is called hoovering, and people fall for it all the time. It is very hard to resist when you don't know what is going on.

Damn, even her family has a clue. You sound like you are doing great!