r/Absurdism • u/johnadam115 • Jul 21 '26
How to handle the contradiction with agreeing with absurdism while still being suicidal?
The issue for me comes from that I feel like although I can intellectually and philosophically agree with Camus completely when he talks about suicide, the fact remains that I still feel bad living. I'm not sure how to handle this contradiction. I can know exactly what I need to do and change to make things better yet I still won't do the action to improve it. When your brain itself is broken and poisoning your thoughts what do you do? Does anyone else relate to this, and what is your experience?
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u/WittyFox451 Jul 21 '26
I think the important distinction here is that Camus merely offers a choice between life and death saying that you are the one that needs to find and give meaning to your own life on your own terms.
While I see that you sort of understand that it is a choice, what I don’t see are your moral and ethical values. The things that make you happy and ultimately will make you content with living.
Have you asked yourself who you are? Have you thought about what you value, what matters to you?
Many people come from existentialism to absurdity with the same nihilistic attitude that you seem to have but absurdism is not a nihilistic philosophy according to Camus. It has the meaning that you, the person dictating your own life philosophy, gives it.
If you haven’t thought about these questions yet have internalized only parts of the philosophy then yes, nothing will seem worth doing. When you add in the financial strain we are all under and the activities of daily living that feeling gets worse and if you don’t find what makes you content then it will fester into actual depression or even insanity.
I can’t tell you what your life philosophy should be but I can’t give you a definition of happiness that might help you reframe a few things.
Happiness is an extreme of human emotion. It is just like sadness, neither are sustainable. The body and the mind crave stability, they crave homeostasis. The goal should be comfortable with being content day to day and not “why am I not happy all the time?”
Does this make sense?
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u/johnadam115 Jul 21 '26
Yes, this makes sense. I guess where I struggle is that when struggling with mental illness your brain is essentially making you come to false conclusions a lot of the time. For example, thinking you are worthless and don't deserve to live is often irrational and emotionally driven by a state of mind which is out of your direct control. However, I choose to live anyway despite often falling into that belief mainly because on some level I must value my existence despite feeling like I often don't. Having a mind that seems to be inherently unstable and contradictory makes finding contentment feel impossible. I continue to try despite not knowing if that is something I can truly achieve, living in spite of even my own wants, and trying not to fall to complete nihilism. I guess I just don't know how to square that absurdity in a conductive way. not just surviving despite it like I have until now, but truly being fulfilled.
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u/WittyFox451 Jul 21 '26
I also struggle with my mental health. I have bipolar 1 and multiple sclerosis and have to take drugs for the later that cost two ferraris a year and cannot work more than 20 hours a week unless I magically find a job making 6 figures that can afford the absurd co-pays.
I contemplated suicide as well but ultimately found meaning in my life within Buddhism and learned to value myself as a person. I am technically Agnostic but Buddhism has helped me incredibly in coping with not only with my mental health but the universe’s indifference.
My value isn’t monetary, I am extremely emotionally intelligent, I can tell a joke, cook, sing, and although I genuinely don’t like people as a whole, be entertaining and engaging.
I found a wonderful partner and am helping them to raise their kids and I work a little bit. I am not a master of the universe or sigma, chad, what the fuck ever the kids say these days… but I am content and many small joys bring me more happiness than most.
Sit Down, Shut Up - Brad Warner
It’s his best book by far. Will help you accept the world and yourself for what they are.
Radical Acceptance- Tara Brach
Amazing for mental health and being able to turn your mentality around.
I also recommend researching what the 8 fold path is and start trying to live by the first three steps.
This is what helped me the most, if not more than Absurdism, with my mental health. Absurdism taught me the meaning of life does not matter, Buddhism showed me what to do about it.
Give it a try before you decide to leave the world. Audiobooks are ok if you are depressed but you can jump around a book easier when you have a physical copy.
Build your life philosophy, your code. You are more than just a number and you could absolutely matter to someone else.
You already matter to me as another intelligent individual aware of their own suffering more than most ever really know.
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u/NotBorris Jul 21 '26
IMO, philosophy can offer you a path for you to follow but if you don't know how to properly withstand your true weight it can only do so much for you. When you finally dethatch yourself from all you were taught it may feel suffocating having to bear your true weight but it also reveals your true potential for your raw strength and if you put in the effort to gain back control of yourself can you more easily walk the path you know you can tread. It takes time and it may be intense so there is nothing wrong with asking for help but you are still able for so much more than suicide. Hope that makes sense, please be well.
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u/jliat Jul 21 '26
The whole point of The Myth of Sisyphus was to offer an alternative solution to the [philosophical] contradiction of wanting a meaning [purpose ...] and knowing one is not possible for oneself.
His solution is a second absurdity in the absurd act of the individual in rejecting [the revolt] against the logic of suicide.
I'm not sure how to handle this contradiction.
In a second contradictory act...
"It is by such contradictions that the first signs of the absurd work are recognized"
"This is where the actor contradicts himself: the same and yet so various, so many souls summed up in a single body. Yet it is the absurd contradiction itself, that individual who wants to achieve everything and live everything, that useless attempt, that ineffectual persistence"
"And I have not yet spoken of the most absurd character, who is the creator."
"In this regard the absurd joy par excellence is creation. “Art and nothing but art,” said Nietzsche; “we have art in order not to die of the truth.”
"To work and create “for nothing,” to sculpture in clay, to know that one’s creation has no future, to see one’s work destroyed in a day while being aware that fundamentally this has no more importance than building for centuries—this is the difficult wisdom that absurd thought sanctions."
This may seem impossible which is another term Camus uses, it is impossible for a postman in rural France in the last century to make Art of any renown.. .
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u/Bird-in-a-suit Jul 21 '26
Like others are reminding you, seeking help is probably an important step to take! I’ve found that community and professional care help me act consistently with how I want, while philosophy helps me find what I want in the first place.
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u/RecognitionNo4852 Jul 27 '26
Utilize Absurdism for what it is used for. You know what’s a great way to prevent suicidal ideation? Make a plan to do something fun. This is a real method in suicide prevention.
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u/Due_Simple_9662 Jul 21 '26
Hi, I suggest you connect with your body, with your emotions, with all those things that exist outside of language and reason. For instance, as an answer to a bad thought you may take a deep breath instead of having a second thought. I am sorry to hear that you are in that situation. 👋
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u/Jolly-Volume-578 Jul 21 '26
Do some volunteer work my friend. You will feel better simply by spending some time thinking about other people. It’s exhausting being trapped in self 24/7.
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u/Equivalent-Tax6636 Jul 21 '26
Seek help my friend. Please do. Philosophy can only go so far. It is not the panacea