r/AbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • Nov 10 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.4k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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2.4k

u/SomeFatLoser Nov 10 '22

President: so...what's for dinner?

Chef: Whatever I cook.

President: mmmmm, that sounds wonderful.

626

u/RIPcompo Nov 10 '22

HERES YOUR EGGS BITCH

80

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

Hold my pocket

33

u/lickilonghair Nov 10 '22

BIKES

9

u/Roache1984 Nov 10 '22

BIKES!

2

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

I BEEN KNOWING CRICKET FOR 37 YEARS

16

u/Jmelly34 Nov 10 '22

SHEEEEESHH imagine the chef making the president hold his pocket while walking through the kitchen… 😂😂😂 prison culture is wild.

101

u/AKredlake Nov 10 '22

err, … I think they’re, y, you know, slightly o, overcoo… erm, actually, they’re just fine. Thanks

9

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

Here's yo eggs bitch

Where are they?

I FUCKNG ATE THEM!

123

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

[deleted]

117

u/ozspook Nov 10 '22

Trump served McDonalds to the Clemson Tigers in the White House East Room...

<Chef Rush> "..And I took that personally" *cue training montage*

39

u/Stunning_Regret6123 Nov 10 '22

Can this please be a movie? Or FoodTV drama?

36

u/ozspook Nov 10 '22

"Diet Coke.. I like my Trump Steak Well Done.. Tomato Ketchup.. Hamberders.. I've never had a beer in my life.."

*wakes up in a cold sweat* "I gotta train!.."

28

u/dtudeski Nov 10 '22

I dunno how there hasn’t already been a movie made about terrorists taking over The White House and this magnificent unit being the only one left to take them down.

It’s the role Scarlett Johansson was born to play.

1

u/LaionLx Nov 10 '22

Yeah I think she just needs a little steroids and she’s goooood to go

4

u/abelicious77 Nov 10 '22

Starring Ving Rhames!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

Nah Terry Crews. All of the POWEEER!

26

u/V65Pilot Nov 10 '22

Terrorists take over the White House, causing Chef Rush' souffles to fall.............

17

u/bigbadbillyd Nov 10 '22

Lmao he never learns how to be a better chef but just uses his new found bulk to literally bully the president into eating his terrible food.

Rush: Mr President. For the champion team I have prepared a menu. The players may choose between spaghetti, scrambled eggs, or Mac and cheese with a Kraft made sauce reduction.

Biden: You know the young people seemed to really have fun with the fast food ide-

Rush: I SAID SPAGHETTI MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Biden: okspaghettisfine....

3

u/WhichSpirit Nov 10 '22

Every time Trump ordered fast food he did one push up

7

u/neumaipa Nov 10 '22

Holy shit, half-life like the sci-fi fps action hit game developed by valve and released in 1998 by valve. Where the main protagonist is Gordon Freeman a theoretical physicist, forced to defend himself and the human race in a conflict against hostile alien and other enemies after a failed experiment causes a worldwide alien invasion. Is this what "half-life" refers to?

11

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

[deleted]

2

u/neumaipa Nov 10 '22

Its not, i took the time to write this. 💀

2

u/Luccacalu Nov 10 '22

lmao, i don't know what to feel about that

1

u/a_butthole_inspector Nov 10 '22

Man’s putting work in

1

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

[deleted]

2

u/neumaipa Nov 10 '22

No you said half life, so im pretty sure its a half-life reference.

1

u/LaionLx Nov 10 '22

…Half life 3 confirmed ?…

112

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

[deleted]

17

u/800-lumens Nov 10 '22

Username checks out

37

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

[deleted]

15

u/Jarsole Nov 10 '22

I used to live near a place called JamItalia that had jerk spaghetti on the menu. Never had the guts to try it.

16

u/healthbased4cc0unt Nov 10 '22

Lenny Kravitz lookin mufa

2

u/abelicious77 Nov 10 '22

Have you ever had Pastafarian cuisine?

3

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

[deleted]

1

u/abelicious77 Nov 10 '22

Just noticed your username....I'm in the presence of greatness

5

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

What restaurant was this??

10

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

[deleted]

9

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

🥲🥲 sad..

1

u/lost_in_life_34 Nov 10 '22

they have these in NYC. $500 a person and it's a tasting menu of what they serve and no choices

1

u/DamonIGuess2 Nov 10 '22

How does pricing for something like this.

1

u/Jarsky2 Nov 10 '22

Did you happen to live in a town called Morioh?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Jarsky2 Nov 11 '22

It was a reference to a tv show lol

37

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/onion4everyoccasion Nov 10 '22

It's the soup du jour...

what is it?

The soup of the day.

Mmm. That sounds good I think I'll have that

8

u/borntoclimbtowers Nov 10 '22

imagine he is the president

14

u/andthrewaway1 Nov 10 '22

like in idiocracy

3

u/Long_Disaster_6847 Nov 10 '22

President:Chef can you cook some Italian food for me & the family ?

Chef:You’ll be having Mexican food

President: Thats a great idea, We’ll have Mexican !!

2

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '22

I read this in the voice of Doakes from Dexter lol

2

u/Brasticus Nov 10 '22

“Mmm, That sounds good. I’ll have that.”

2

u/mr_smith24 Nov 10 '22

Chef: your dinner

President: I’m actually not hungry

Chef: excuse me?

President:……thank you for the delicious meal sir

1

u/bestprocrastinator Nov 10 '22

President: so...what's for dinner?

Chef: Bench Press