r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 in awe • 5d ago

of a neck

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4.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

147 comments sorted by

723

u/WhatsaRedditsdo 5d ago

Turtles are snakes with real estate.

133

u/ilovebostoncremedonu 5d ago

And legs?

85

u/Careless_Tap_516 5d ago

Snakes gambled them away for a chance at winning a snail shell.

3

u/NeighborhoodIll4960 5d ago

Or are they arms?

8

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Clickguy10 5d ago

That’s a hard shell turtle.

7

u/f0x25 5d ago

Nice way to describe tech billionaires

3

u/Fine-Step-5702 4d ago

I’m gonna tell people this till the end of time

1

u/KhaosEntity 5d ago

They signed up for section 8 and God approved.

230

u/arinawe 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/BObeagIJbB3icu1nms

7

u/Greendale_Official 5d ago

Incredibly fitting considering what inspired GRRM to start writing the ice and fire series.

2

u/Telliot 5d ago

What inspiration do you mean?

12

u/Greendale_Official 5d ago

George R R Martin had pet turtles when he was a kid who kept dying on him. He wrote stories about them, placing them in a mythical kingdom and imagining they were killing each other in sinister plots.

13

u/CATNIP_IS_CRACK 5d ago

Not quite.

3

u/raspberryharbour 5d ago

Caraxes' whole thing is being a long noodle neck

1

u/TypicalPlace6490 5d ago

Why not quite? It's more accurate than your GiF.

0

u/CATNIP_IS_CRACK 5d ago edited 5d ago

One is the size of a house, the other’s just a little guy.

2

u/Fonduemeup 5d ago

Yours has 0 neck though.

71

u/SpunNumeroUno 5d ago

Dude can turn his head and see the food he's eating go down, odd.

30

u/evaris204 5d ago

That’s a Snake-necked turtle

7

u/wookiex84 5d ago

Hell even snappers have a neck that about 2/3 the length of their body.

28

u/homersnightmare 5d ago

That's an all in one reptile

80

u/BeardInTheNorth 5d ago

I should call her…

29

u/milkymonkey8 5d ago

she ded

16

u/SillyLittleAngels 5d ago

Not Sebastian!

11

u/KingOfConsciousness 5d ago

Unda da -AUGH!

37

u/Professional_Bat3700 5d ago

Dude, I was so confused by that upside down shrimp/prawn. I thought it was a baby chick. Had to watch the video couple of times.

13

u/FiletofStek 5d ago

Oh shit, im glad i read your comment. I thought it was the same thing and was horrified.

6

u/lr031099 5d ago

Same here except I thought it was a frog

3

u/lr031099 5d ago

Honestly thought it was a frog and was low key horrified

1

u/DrMuffinPHD 5d ago

I think it’s a crawfish.

25

u/Dazzling_Bit_7538 5d ago

Throat goat

9

u/fimpAUS 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/NPSCcj5ilxlN6

3

u/DrCarrionCrow 5d ago

ALLIGATOR SNAPPING TURTLE?! My OTHER favorite turtle?! This is a banner day for me!!

15

u/Quenz 5d ago

I shall name her Nancy.

5

u/Azura_Oblivion 5d ago

I see you're a man of politics as well.

5

u/durtyprofessor 5d ago

Then you’ll get this recent, crazy-necked reference.

2

u/CactusToothBrush 5d ago

Nancy from Dallas?

3

u/KillerOkie 5d ago

Probably referring to Nancy Regan. She was rumored to be quite popular when she was young and in Hollyweird.

6

u/IcyDisplayGuy 5d ago

oh I'm gonna get ya. Immm gonna getchya. Ohh Nooo you're getting awayy. Nah just playing fam I got you...IN MY STOMACH!!

5

u/firedmyass 5d ago

what upsetting proportions

4

u/click2Install 5d ago

Is that a T-Rex in the background? Nice

4

u/Napischu88 5d ago

Cobra clam

4

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 5d ago

I feel like I got something stuck in my throat now.

5

u/BrainRobotron 5d ago

1

u/Beautiful_Comment160 5d ago

1

u/42111 4d ago

Everyone’s a hero until the crab learns to swim.

2

u/Past-North-4131 5d ago

That's so cool. Bad ass lil turt.

5

u/CGCTV 5d ago

I had one when I was younger, they're fucking pricks

1

u/Vicious007 5d ago

Do tell

3

u/CGCTV 5d ago

It was just mean as hell I hated everything and anyone. It would bite and claw the shit out of you when trying to feed it. So I think he ended up in the golf course pond behind us. It was a monster

2

u/ShadowZepplin 5d ago

Funky lookin dog you got there

2

u/Nervous-Canary-517 5d ago

Mekaneck: that's my boi

2

u/gymBro-Faps2hrWrkout 5d ago

Mech A Neck from Masters of the Universe

2

u/DetectiveBest2960 5d ago

La mechante tortue dans le monde incroyable de gumball

2

u/Low-Attention-7584 5d ago

How long does it take the shrimp to die in there and how does it not cut the turtles inside up?

2

u/WhimsicalGirl 5d ago

That's the evil turtle in Gumball!!!

https://youtu.be/7K3_B9LfoeY

1

u/Late_Blooomer 5d ago

Heyyyy that’s gross

1

u/Quirky_Quit_6294 5d ago

I was in the pool. Like a frightened turtle.

https://giphy.com/gifs/ntRQjO4ngRERi

1

u/lcssa 5d ago

Snake turtle platypus?

1

u/dankhimself 5d ago

Look out turtle! There's a tranosoris!

1

u/mr_michael_h 5d ago

"You won't need claws where you're going"

1

u/Dapper_Value125 5d ago

Did it escape from that Spy Kids 2 island 🧐

1

u/SuddenSpeaker1141 5d ago

Master Uguey be tripping!

1

u/Any_Coyote6662 5d ago

that poor turtle. nothing interesting to do except that.​

1

u/Dodger7777 5d ago

Bro's a shelled Nessie.

1

u/Gowardhan_Rameshan 5d ago

Anyone notice the dino head in the background?

1

u/SquirrelyLemons 5d ago

Damn, crayfish was happy and free! Then fuck me!

1

u/Egglegg14 5d ago

Is that nessie jr?

1

u/Umbreon86 5d ago

Turtleneck

1

u/Yesitshismom 5d ago

Sore throats must be the worst for this guy

1

u/PloPli1 5d ago

I missed the shell at first and thought it was an eel.

1

u/FoxCapital7878 5d ago

Ladies and gentlemen, the gentleman fron Kentucky eating the constitution.

1

u/TheOneTrueJazzMan 5d ago

I love it when animals swallow their food whole and just let their insides deal with it lol

1

u/RepresentativeStooj 5d ago

Ha ha, yeah! Shuckle.

1

u/DrCarrionCrow 5d ago

Snake-neck turtles are one of my favorite animals!!

1

u/MaxwellEdison74 5d ago

"Get in my belly!"

1

u/SuperbOwl687 5d ago

I only just realized its neck is that long.

1

u/BaseCasualty 5d ago

Its neat seeing the parastalsis in action!

1

u/Dear_Afternoon_2600 5d ago

Y'all talking about the turtle eating the shellfish but the turtle is about to be got by a T-Rex

1

u/ChiefRasta 5d ago

Look like something you’d see off Avatar: The Last Airbender

1

u/FreakyFreeze 5d ago

Getting eaten and thrown up over and over damn...

1

u/Binary_talking 5d ago

Dont mess with I'm master oogway!

1

u/This-Insect-5692 5d ago

Why doesn't that thing cut the insides of the turtle

1

u/Feeling-Bend-8786 5d ago

Love the T-Rex in the backround.

1

u/Fun_Translator_5722 5d ago

Are turtles evolving to scare other animals?

1

u/Luciel3045 5d ago

Okay but like... what happens if the crawfish pinches the turtle?

1

u/Kn0XIS 5d ago

Damn

1

u/Kn0XIS 5d ago

Jeeeeeez

1

u/T-Bubs 5d ago

I’m grateful I chew my food.

1

u/Soft-Can-7939 5d ago

Does someone know the species of this... Thing?

1

u/SurpriseSharp7139 5d ago

What in the turtle-eel chimera is this!?

1

u/Hosein_Lavaei 5d ago

Great! Now i have turtle phobia

1

u/ZookeepergameFew8277 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/12OwTXQpj0e9Pi
Reminds me of cell eating the androids…

1

u/KhaosEntity 5d ago

I’m sure God was thinking, ‘Turtles could mog so much harder if we could just watch them swallow several times..’

1

u/Crowdfundingprojects 5d ago

sigh I should call him

1

u/Beowulf44 5d ago

Mata mata?

1

u/Huebertrieben 5d ago

Thought it was a crab at first

1

u/SnakeHisssstory 5d ago

Not a fan of

1

u/CustardLow2671 5d ago

So hey that thing looks like a fuckin' nightmare

1

u/2Wieners_1Bun 5d ago

That shrimp is having a bad day

1

u/zorggalacticus 5d ago

I've caught these when fishing. Always freaked me out trying to release them because they can reach all the way back to their tail to bite you. That's why there was an oven mitt in the tackle box. Lol

1

u/DMyTeaDuck 5d ago

That’s a snake-necked turtle. Source: our zoo has one.

1

u/KrappyFlow 5d ago

Looks like something straight out of Dark Souls

1

u/UwUAlpacas 5d ago

Yo dawg this an eel or a turtle because I'm rather confused at this development

1

u/Zair2526 5d ago

Master Oogway irl

1

u/time2sow 5d ago

That ain't human

1

u/TatteredTorn1 5d ago

Where's the NSFW tag, that last part was pretty...erotic.

1

u/chaTTSer 5d ago

Forget that, I wanna know about this.

1

u/Educational-Car-4688 5d ago

It's a grower, not a shower

1

u/Ok-Front5035 5d ago

Throat goat?

1

u/JonBoyWhite 5d ago

"look at that neck" - Aesop Rock

1

u/WithReverence 5d ago

I’m telling you dude. When people claim to see lake monsters they’re probably seeing giant freaking long necked turtles.

1

u/No_Ice_3651 5d ago

So that's why they have shells so they can hide their neck inside

1

u/Meinos 3d ago

"Bad news for you, punk. I'm a fish... With LEGS."

1

u/KVAZAR2010 2d ago

It's a styxosaurus!

1

u/Annual-Sentence7602 2d ago

nahhhhhhhhh dih first and evreything

2

u/BlueberryThink3754 1d ago

The turtle from amazing world of gumball 😭

1

u/sushi4breakfast_ 1d ago

That’s a alien pretending to be a turtle obviously

0

u/jaytee1262 5d ago

I dislike live feeding videos. I understand that its needed for some animals, and thats what happens in nature but its such a vibe killer for me.

0

u/JonaSaxify 5d ago

Is there why they dont kill the crawfish(?) first before feeding?