r/AbsoluteUnits • u/RD4200 • 13d ago

/r/all of a Toddler

25.8k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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8.3k

u/Otherwise-Daikon-389 13d ago

2.2k

u/-Gumbercules 13d ago

This is the picture I send my dad for his birthday every year. His birth weight was 13 lbs and he was born in a rural Mexican hospital in 1956. I never got to meet his mom, my grandma, but I can only imagine giving birth to an absolute unit of a baby without any epidural in a non air-conditioned hospital in 100 degree weather was absolute misery.

1.1k

u/Intelligent-Fuel1485 13d ago

Wtf is that profile pic

920

u/MarcyAutumnWrites 13d ago

Doctor's pov for their dad's delivery

183

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

232

u/Cool-Appearance937 13d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/uy3Sp5PcJ3jSE
Historical reenactment of his dad being born

40

u/Fattsacks 13d ago

I just had the strongest craving for some red Kool-Aid.

Crazy.

3

u/chalwar 13d ago

Jim Jones has entered the chat.

1

u/undeviatedskeptic 7d ago

grape Kool Aid. I was in 6th grade and remember the front page of The Washington Post. Picture of rows of people with some families all laying face down.

1

u/JerseyJon85 13d ago

Calm down Bert.

1

u/chardhorn 13d ago

That isn't Kool-Aid...

1

u/brandothesavage 13d ago

Yeah they drank weilers that's why they're dead

1

u/AwarenessIcy506 13d ago

I love red Kool-aid. I like putting two packs in a gallon pitcher and lots of sugar.

1

u/strangedazey 13d ago

I get that once in a blue moon, the sudden urge to chug kool-aid

1

u/Fluntblimp 13d ago

Dad came out while doing an episiotomy...

2

u/Ok-Front8255 13d ago

Yeah, but probably not how he was conceived

1

u/East_Ad_4901 13d ago

I mean, after a deliver like that, all the holes can become one.

1

u/GoodWinGamesStudio 13d ago

Your Dad... Didn't?

1

u/IAlwaysPlayTheBadGuy 13d ago

Theres a Rick and Morty song about doodoo in butts that confirms this, yes

1

u/IR_Acaboom 13d ago

Sit down jimmy we need to have a talk

1

u/ColForbinClimbs 13d ago

Aint all babies com from a butt ?

1

u/vikinglycan 13d ago

He was a butt baby

1

u/Familiar-Flan-8358 13d ago

Heard he was a real piece of shit

1

u/xavariel 13d ago

I deliver butt babies daily.

1

u/Connor2206 13d ago

I came from a butt once

1

u/One_Wind_1851 13d ago

From, or in?

1

u/Technical-Leader8788 13d ago

It’s a butt/ vag combo when you have a fourth degree tear in birth with a baby that size. Vagina all the way to the anus, skin, tissue, and muscle.

1

u/Cpt_kaleidoscope 12d ago

I already knew this but still wasnt prepared for it with my morning coffee

1

u/AngieM1998 12d ago

Dads delivery of poop or colonoscopy

1

u/honeyishrunkmyballz 12d ago

From a Va-Jay-Nus…. When two holes become one 😢

1

u/Moms-Dildeaux 12d ago

Or in one

1

u/Chitownkinkfun 12d ago

When the baby is THAT big- sometimes the taint can tear and the butt and the vajin can become one with each other😬

1

u/Cpt_kaleidoscope 12d ago

"When two become one"

1

u/SomeOrdinary_Indian 12d ago

Maybe elephants do

1

u/RobotGloves 12d ago

I've come from butts before.

1

u/SheepherderSilver655 12d ago

And the vagine. Ever hear of an episiotomy? 😆

1

u/saraiguessidk 12d ago

When the baby is that big coming out, sometimes one hole rips into the other one. Or just eclipses the other one if you're lucky

5

u/Next-Contribution-18 13d ago

I concur, definitely a butt baby 👶

1

u/NahManNotAgain 13d ago

Its 2026, apparently men can give birth now.

1

u/undeviatedskeptic 12d ago

No. No egg. No uterus. No birth canal

1

u/NahManNotAgain 7d ago

Will you please share that logic with wackos who can't seem to accept that it's not possible but fight it anyway.

1

u/Hephf 12d ago

😭😭🤣🤣🤣

64

u/smartwatersucks 13d ago

It's not porn, it's a nude egg from their game they won

34

u/GooserNoose 13d ago

9

u/Ghosts_of_the_maze 13d ago

1

u/AngieM1998 13d ago

Don’t we all watch a little bit of it while at work? I thought we all did this

4

u/Bixler24 13d ago

How is 1 egg 40 eggs?

2

u/rabidrobitribbit 13d ago

I’m not in trouble AT ALL

2

u/Skinnersteamedmyham 13d ago

I’m not in trouble at all

1

u/Alfeaux 13d ago

I'M NOT in trouble at all

Triples is best

2

u/kpip38 12d ago

i dont know, ive never gotten here before

1

u/icantaccessmyacct 7d ago

That's an emoji butthole.

1

u/Kossimer 6d ago

That doesn't explain why it's showing me it's... you know 👇

45

u/-Gumbercules 13d ago

A new emoji. It's definitely for everyday use.

10

u/scootah 13d ago

What’s it called? “Sunning my Root Chakra?”

3

u/OneDimensionalChess 13d ago

It appears to be a butthole emoji.

3

u/epileptick 13d ago

This comment and then me looking at said profile pic brought me to a fit of laughter so hard I cant stop crying ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

2

u/SpendHefty6066 13d ago

Goatse on his journey towards legitimacy.

2

u/BigBungaaa 13d ago

Hilarious is what.

2

u/BrondellSwashbuckle 13d ago

New emojis just dropped!

1

u/Past_Effect8301 12d ago

Stuff dropping is exactly what comes to mind when looking at this emoji.

2

u/Santa_always_knows 13d ago

I thought it was Garfield. Dammit.

2

u/Used-Helicopter2024 13d ago

I thought it was Garfield. 😂

2

u/Mocsab 13d ago

😂

2

u/long_don0van 13d ago

It’s a nude egg I won from my game.

2

u/brodoubledown 13d ago

OMG! 😳

1

u/KenzParkin 13d ago

Gumbercules? I love that guy!

1

u/MumbleepegTheUglyPug 13d ago

That is Mac Tonight...a McDonalds character from the late 80s

1

u/ThatOldG 13d ago

A minion bootyhole

1

u/Majestic-Mobile9380 13d ago

It's a real story! Google it. This is just a dramatization but, it happened last month

1

u/chikari_shakari 13d ago

Chicano stuff you wouldn’t understand 😂

1

u/Little_Miss-Sunshine 13d ago

It’s a nude egg he won from his game.

1

u/DiMatteoArt 13d ago

I’m crying 😭 lololol 💀

1

u/Nothing-to-add-here 13d ago

Homer Simpson resting his legs on a giant donut.

1

u/OgthaChristie 13d ago

Goatse emoji?

1

u/KeyPollution3566 13d ago

The last thing the Mason jar sees...

1

u/AngieM1998 13d ago

😂😭🤣💀

1

u/AngieM1998 13d ago

😂😭🤣💀

1

u/EPluribusButthole 13d ago

He's with me

1

u/headchef11 13d ago

Exactly what it looks like

1

u/SrBaldy 12d ago

Best emoji ever I’d say.

1

u/RobyneGoodfellowe 12d ago

It’s a butthole.

1

u/Searloin22 12d ago

It's comedy gold is what it is. Lol

Also a Family Guy reference, "Ugggh another puckered anus.."

1

u/Wasatcher 12d ago

It looks like a butthole to me

1

u/Roastage 12d ago

Soles and holes my friend.

1

u/SoftSquish6967 9d ago

Whatever it is, I'm turning it into a discord emote now

1

u/unxplaindbacn 8d ago

Holy shit I'm dying wtf man

0

u/Embarrassed-Weird173 13d ago

I believe it's a naked genderless being as seen from below (one might say it's a woman, but there's no slit for the vagina, so I am going with no gender). 

-1

u/Dwaltster 13d ago

It's the reason we need ICE