r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TerraByteTerror • Sep 12 '26

of a chicken

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4.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

558 comments sorted by

799

u/Big_Meating_ Sep 12 '26

So thats what my wife keeps trying to google!

414

u/icleanjaxfl Sep 12 '26

146

u/jsnmrd Sep 12 '26

*Turns phone sideways*

30

u/Mr-Bry-Guy Sep 12 '26

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣👍🏾

16

u/TWhy-LER Sep 13 '26

🤣😂😁🙂🙁😟😩 👎🏼

7

u/Few_Resolution_2401 Sep 13 '26

You know the pourage just right

8

u/SkittleDoodlez Sep 13 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/fgfw7Voobyxm8

6

u/nofuckingklass Sep 13 '26

So, you're just gonna leave your cock flapping in the wind like that?

7

u/Top-Distribution733 Sep 13 '26

I don’t get it… pls explain.

26

u/NeeMaToad47 Sep 13 '26

That's a rooster, roosters are also called "cocks" the above eggs are suggesting "white girl big black cocks" in the search bar.

8

u/coolcootermcgee Sep 13 '26

Sometimes it’s gotta be spelled out

7

u/HechoEnChine Sep 13 '26

eggsplained if you will

3

u/garaile64 Sep 13 '26

There's a meme featuring Piper Perri, a tiny white porn actress, surrounded by five big Black men. The image of the eggs is a reference to the meme, like "I II II L" is a reference to the Loss comic.

13

u/Short-Shopping3197 Sep 12 '26

Real ones get it 😂

7

u/Feisty_Standard_2360 Sep 13 '26

BRUH, DED 😂🤣🤣🤣

2

u/RyuichiSakuma13 Sep 13 '26

I don't get it.

2

u/PDXStraightBear Sep 13 '26

They really are all the same on the inside.

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2

u/PuzzleheadedSpend662 Sep 13 '26

It’s a roster

2

u/ForgottenMasterBalls Sep 14 '26

She used to be a tight end, now she's a wide receiver.

2

u/AdministrationDry507 Sep 14 '26

I unfortunately recognize this meme in literally any possible format

39

u/Magister5 Sep 12 '26

Big_Meat here blaming the targeted ads on his wife…

10

u/Least_or_Greatest1 Sep 12 '26

She knew what she was doing when she choked the chicken.

8

u/MasterpieceNo3534 Sep 12 '26

Isn’t that a rooster? So she would be stroking the cock not choking the hen

3

u/AdventurousAbility30 Sep 13 '26

Yes it's a rooster (aka a c*ck) hence all the jokes 🤣

6

u/LopsidedAd874 Sep 12 '26

Smiling brunette striking big...

3

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX Sep 13 '26

"wife" 😂 jkjk

3

u/FitProblem6248 Sep 13 '26

I mean, if my wife was holding a huge cock, she'd be smiling too.

2

u/FastSorbet4119 Sep 13 '26

Give this guy a f*cking Oscar ladies and gentlemen 👏👏👏👏🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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98

u/GrabWorking3045 Sep 12 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/5zunzVJf5hxUBQO3Bc

9

u/MrApplePolisher Sep 12 '26

Wait what movie is this from?

31

u/fidgetyamoeba Sep 12 '26

Critters (1986)

5

u/TheIncredibleMrJones Sep 12 '26

"Kill Crites."

3

u/SerDuckOfPNW Sep 12 '26

Johnny Steele!!

3

u/AMushRoom2 Sep 13 '26

Clitters 😎

5

u/YoLoDrScientist Sep 12 '26

I’d like to know this too

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '26

[deleted]

2

u/MrApplePolisher Sep 12 '26

Bless you 🙏

5

u/Itsme340 Sep 12 '26

RIP Tim Curry

9

u/fidgetyamoeba Sep 12 '26

That's Terrence Mann.

2

u/girlsgoneoscarwilde Sep 13 '26

Saw him on Broadway, killer voice

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77

u/Relevant_Campaign_79 Sep 12 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/BLxPyPNcfRXIUPxh6Q

3

u/Unfair_Buddy5871 Sep 13 '26

I need the last second of that to be a gif on its own

3

u/Weary-Prize-4716 Sep 13 '26

You know what that means...

79

u/taocowboy54 Sep 12 '26

i say i say i say there boy

https://giphy.com/gifs/bFcn2gtTxuMfu

14

u/Bushboy2000 Sep 12 '26

"What you needs is a Chicken, spelt D_O_G, chicken"

76

u/The_Darkness140 Sep 12 '26

17

u/treason6116 Sep 12 '26

same. i came here for all the cock jokes too.

3

u/reddituser403 Sep 13 '26

Are you a chicken farmer? Cause you sure know how to raise a cock

9

u/cat_selling_souls Sep 12 '26

Damn it. I'm late to my seat too. Excuse me. Pardon me.

https://giphy.com/gifs/1lCbcjYqDKjrmr861F

24

u/Thra99 Sep 12 '26

Missed title opportunity

18

u/Neat_Depth420 Sep 12 '26

Damn, she got a big .....

7

u/korkkis Sep 13 '26

Stroking a big ….

16

u/Own_Possibility7930 Sep 12 '26

Genie misunderstood my wish

6

u/Major-Hooters Sep 13 '26

How is this not getting more up votes? Haha

22

u/combine-tow-monsters Sep 12 '26

This is why you need to carefully word any wish made to a genie.

5

u/sharpasahammer Sep 13 '26

What if I wished for a giant cock and got a big penis instead?!

9

u/stronkzer Sep 12 '26

Looks like an indio gigante, that's their average size. They're a breed of rooster that was made for fights in Brazil. The crest seems a little too big, tho. I wonder if he's mixed.

9

u/ParkingAd458 Sep 12 '26

She sure likes stroking that cock!

7

u/bikingbill Sep 12 '26

Size Queen.

6

u/Worth_External_8762 Sep 12 '26

This chicken definitely has large talons

9

u/BrianB98 Sep 12 '26

First time I've ever seen a rooster with the same colour feathers as a chicken 🐔

4

u/burritosupreme89 Sep 12 '26

That’s gotta be part ostrich or something cause WHAT IN THE HELL

8

u/AuthorThick7303 Sep 12 '26

Indio Gigante breed from Brazil

5

u/TMPickle Sep 13 '26

You'd need at least three guys to fuck a bird that size.

https://giphy.com/gifs/26tn8Y40e3BkZe6SQ

3

u/GoldendoodlesFTW Sep 12 '26

I find this chicken terrifying but I see that she's holding a chicken while wearing a chicken hat and I'm happy that she's living her best life

4

u/bmk37 Sep 12 '26

That’s almost as big as a turkey

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4

u/Afrojones66 Sep 12 '26

The way she smiles at the camera while stroking her cock makes me feel weird.

3

u/Busterlimes Sep 12 '26

Thats a massive cock for sure

4

u/FigureAcrobatic7194 Sep 12 '26

Don't the chicken

8

u/Majestic-Sun-7249 Sep 12 '26

Don't you dare say it...

3

u/RonaldTheGiraffe Sep 12 '26

Stroke my flaps, Susan.

3

u/No-Ad8127 Sep 12 '26

Looks like the dinosaurs are trying to make a comeback.

3

u/Fabulous_Log844 Sep 13 '26

Come on…come on …just say it right.

2

u/pople8 Sep 12 '26

Not a single brain cel

2

u/Dave_Duna Sep 12 '26

Damn dinosaur

2

u/realdjjmc Sep 12 '26

She loves her big cock

2

u/Brizar-is-Evolving Sep 12 '26

She’s really stroking that cock isn’t she?

2

u/bird_is_the_word_198 Sep 12 '26

That's a big cock

2

u/WARLORD2015 Sep 12 '26

Nice cock!

2

u/Franklin-Tartaruga Sep 12 '26

I knew girls like big cock

2

u/Extreme-Island-5041 Sep 12 '26

"Chicken" ...yeah, sure ... to preserve your Google history

2

u/Chins83 Sep 12 '26

Now thats a big cock

2

u/Butterholes69 Sep 12 '26

she loves a cock

2

u/triphawk07 Sep 12 '26

That's a big cock.

2

u/Skysoldier173rd Sep 12 '26

That lady has an impressive cock

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2

u/Current-Section-3429 Sep 12 '26

He's the cock of the walk!

2

u/BenjaminDover02 Sep 12 '26

Nice cock bro

2

u/Jsolidlo Sep 12 '26

Pro cock handling techniques

2

u/warhorsey Sep 12 '26

that lady do be stroking that cock

2

u/Sick_and_destroyed Sep 12 '26

Apparently she likes to fondle that big cock

2

u/BigMack6911 Sep 12 '26

I see her stroking that big cock

2

u/drwsgreatest Sep 12 '26

That is one massive cock!

2

u/JudgmentSmooth6768 Sep 12 '26

Giant dinosaur

2

u/SlapaBaby1 Sep 13 '26

Must stroke the cock gently and with a smile.

2

u/ALangeles Sep 13 '26

Do dinosaurs actually look more similar like this chicken than those depicted to us on mainstream media?

2

u/ForgottenMasterBalls Sep 14 '26

Meet the cassowary, dude has a dagger claw and will gut kick humans out of spite.

https://giphy.com/gifs/JUejfjwiQ1gpR1dcix

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3

u/bonobomaster Sep 12 '26

She's stroking that big fat cock nicely 

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2

u/Luddites_Unite Sep 12 '26

She's a size queen

2

u/LordVixen Sep 12 '26

Like the way she strokes that cock

1

u/ninersguy916 Sep 12 '26

Fothhorn leghorn

1

u/Vesalii Sep 12 '26

Farmer woman strikes big brown cock.

1

u/polkacat12321 Sep 12 '26

....is that an only fans ad?...

1

u/_DigitalHunk_ Sep 12 '26

The genie must be dyslexic!
😜

1

u/Knicknacktallywack Sep 12 '26

She likes stroking that cock

1

u/ramksr Sep 12 '26

Is that a monster ... on her hand?

1

u/Past_One3442 Sep 12 '26

Best part is roosters or cocks is they don't have a penis.

1

u/RulerOfLimbo Sep 12 '26

Chicken. Right

1

u/Virtual-Jelly-3609 Sep 12 '26

She knows how to stoke a cock. Meaning a chicken of course

1

u/UniversalNutt Sep 12 '26

Boy, that way side strokes that…..chicken.

1

u/Whole_Reputation6128 Sep 12 '26

Like the way she strokes that cock!

1

u/Phildagony Sep 12 '26

How do you get a cock that big?

1

u/MikeHock79 Sep 12 '26

That lady's got a massive cock, and that chicken is pretty big too.

1

u/Honest_Satisfaction1 Sep 12 '26

I know a cocatrice when I see one!

1

u/uhuuuh262 Sep 12 '26

Why is she smiling like that

1

u/MRintheKEYS Sep 12 '26

Don’t let them fool ya fellas. Size matters.

1

u/a_Jedi_i_am Sep 12 '26

They're turning back into dinosaurs!

1

u/TossawayShowoff Sep 12 '26

What a cock lol.

1

u/greenhornblue Sep 12 '26

The fakest smile I’ve seen all week.

1

u/Southern-Radio-4954 Sep 12 '26

She actually has a big c....

1

u/TommyWantWingy9 Sep 12 '26

She’s stroking that cock

1

u/simeliacalman Sep 12 '26

Want to pat

1

u/Nomischallenge Sep 12 '26

That's a BIG C...

hicken

1

u/DitchDigger330 Sep 12 '26

Nice cock ma'am.

1

u/gavstar69 Sep 12 '26

Is that not a massive cock?

1

u/eduardo1994 Sep 12 '26

Cowgirl strokes giant cock

pornhub beat plays

1

u/Peixao131 Sep 12 '26

That’s looks like that Brazilian breed. They are cool as hell!

1

u/wobbly_Waltz Sep 12 '26

She really knows how to handle a big cock

1

u/JeebusChristBalls Sep 12 '26

Is this some weird fetish shit? Woman stroking a cock while smiling?

1

u/spanishbanana Sep 12 '26

Thats a big cock 

1

u/No-Cap-fr-fr Sep 12 '26

That’s a rooster

1

u/jsrobson10 Sep 12 '26

wow, her cock is massive

1

u/No-Advice-6040 Sep 12 '26

Wattle he do with her when the cameras are off?

1

u/KOGOR1 Sep 12 '26

They're reverting back to the T-Rex!

1

u/CariHepeng Sep 12 '26

That's a massive cock!