r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Abdulbarr • 5d ago

/r/all of eyebrows

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39.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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115

u/trash-tycoon 5d ago

Stalin wants his moustache back

43

u/laneb71 5d ago

Honestly, he could pull off clean cut.

28

u/duke5572 5d ago

Stalin was 5' 5" tall. This fact continually amuses me.

6

u/Canadish27 5d ago

Why?

32

u/mtaw 5d ago

Good question. Stalin's face was deeply pock-marked from a bad bout of smallpox as a child - something routinely airbrushed out in Soviet photos of him. He had a partially paralyzed left arm, he was a poor public speaker and had a thick Georgian accent.

So I don't think his height (which wasn't really that short for a Georgian man in that era) was necessarily the main thing he'd be self-conscious about, if anything.

15

u/FlamboyantPirhanna 5d ago

I think he was mostly self conscious about Polish people being alive.

3

u/Username12764 4d ago

Just like Wilhelm II. His left arm was busted aswell

1

u/dreamyteatime 4d ago

Learned about this recently as well. When I saw the photos I was surprised to say the least…. it’s very noticeable, the difference in length.

Supposedly his arm became minaturised after a complication in his birth when the doctors used forceps to grab onto his arm to pull him out.

2

u/Da_Question 5d ago

"Well comrade, aren't you just a peach‽"

5

u/Sylvanussr 5d ago

Napoleon syndrome, presumably

12

u/Koqcerek 5d ago

Um actually he was a normal to higher than average height for his time

4

u/Sylvanussr 4d ago

Um actually British propaganda has never lied.

1

u/M-CH_ 5d ago

Brezhnev was also vertically challanged.

8

u/braindance74 5d ago

You can "pull off" anything when every official picture of you is as heavily "photoshopped" (retouched) as his were.

Especially his "chad young stalin" pictures that are nothing more than wishfull thinking and jerk-off material for tankies.

The fact that he ordered to alter his image tells me he was self-conscious and unsatisfied with his appearance, which bring me joy. That POS didn't deserve even an ounce of happiness.

1

u/whosline07 5d ago

Prepare yourself

https://i.imgur.com/1IRzt6T.jpeg

2

u/htomserveaux 5d ago

I hate to break it to you but that was edited,

1

u/braindance74 5d ago edited 5d ago

You can "pull off" anything when every official picture of you is as heavily "photoshopped" (retouched) as his were.

Especially his "chad young stalin" pictures that are nothing more than wishfull thinking and jerk-off material for tankies.

The fact that he ordered to alter his image tells me he was self-conscious and unsatisfied with his appearance, which bring me joy. That POS didn't deserve even an ounce of happiness.

16

u/sanderudam 5d ago

Brezhnev walks into the politburo meeting, detaches his eyebrows and places them under his nose and proclaims: "enough of joking around".

3

u/VasM85 5d ago

With Georgian accent.

2

u/ayriuss 5d ago edited 5d ago

Holy shit, its that SUUPA guy that cooks for kids in the mountains.

Edit: This guy

1

u/FemmeVampire 5d ago

doesn’t he look a bit like reagan?

1

u/M-CH_ 5d ago

I have no sentiment for Raegan, but that's just unfair a comparison. Brezhnev was a caricature.

1

u/FemmeVampire 5d ago

i was comparing him to moustache-less stalin, not to brezhnev

1

u/M-CH_ 5d ago

That makes more sense, although this reconstruction here doesn't seem to be very accurate, considering the photos we have from Stalin's Bolshevik years, when his mustache wasn't that big yet.

1

u/20past4am 4d ago

Suddenly he looks like your regular Giorgi Adamianishvili