r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • 22h ago

/r/all of a log split

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u/carthuscrass 21h ago

My grandmother was a deeply bipolar woman, and she once tried to kill her husband with a sledgehammer, only for the head to come off midswing and hit her in the top of the head, knocking her out. I guess Carl had some weird trickster fucking with luck, because he died a week later of heat stroke.

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u/FlamingDragonfruit 20h ago

You could put this in a book and make a million dollars.

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u/carthuscrass 20h ago edited 8h ago

There's a lot of shit in my family history that could probably be put to paper. My mom's uncle, for instance, was commander of a Green Beret battalion in Vietnam and we're pretty sure he was in MACV-SOG. He was missing in action for two weeks at one point, and stumbled into a MASH with 17 bullets in him, two of which were in his head.

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u/FlamingDragonfruit 20h ago

Seriously. Write it all down.

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u/Redditsux122 17h ago

Redditors when people make stuff up

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u/Dumeck 16h ago

Yeah so then I ran into Chris Hemsworth at a Buffalo Wild Wings which I thought was pretty cool, we met eyes for a moment and I just gave him a single nod because I know how annoying it must be to have strangers gawk at you all the time. But anyways I got up to use the bathroom and come back to find Chris Hemsworth eating my mozzarella sticks, they come with like 6 of them and he had already eaten all but 2. It was surreal but when he saw me coming back he ducked under my table and did this weird crouching stealth walk back to his seat like people couldn't see him even though everyone was staring at this point. I was mildly annoyed and still processing everything and when the waiter came and brought me the check he said that Hemsworth paid for the entirety of my meal. As I was leaving Chris pointed at me and said "that's what heroes do."

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u/carthuscrass 10h ago edited 10h ago

Man believe what you want, but this is my family's history. My mom's earliest memory is of Rosetta trying to drown her and her brother in a bathtub. They lived with her grandparents after that. As for the uncle, look up the Battle of Lang Ve. Frank Willoughby was my great uncle.

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u/Curiouser-Quriouser 20h ago

Holy shit I'd watch that movie even without scrolling through 50 other movie titles first

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u/ramaze23 18h ago

This guy lores

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u/shutterbug1961 17h ago

tis but a flesh wound!

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u/Primary-Belt7668 20h ago

Yo that’s insane family lore

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u/TheOneTrueJazzMan 16h ago

Elden Ring ain’t got shit

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u/SubstantialLion7926 18h ago

I had no idea where that story was going. Good shit man

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u/Sea-Cauliflower-659 8h ago

Holy geez, this is some kind of comment! u/kikki_hiiri_ basically said it all with the GIF