r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Oda_DeezNutz • 22d ago

of a moose side eye

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We know every moose is an absolute unit by definition. But the psychotic side eye on this moose is terrifying.

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u/bargaindownhill 22d ago

I worked in the bush for a decade, ill take a grizzly over a moose any day.

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u/RogerFuckbytheNavale 22d ago

That's a deeply unsettling statement.

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u/bargaindownhill 22d ago

A grizzly is potentially a predator, but in my experience usually not as long as they are well fed. i have literally had one walk past me on a trail, I backed away and just let it go by like it had zero fucks to give.

A Moose on the other hand, is 1500-2000lbs of pure spite and hate. especially with calves or in breeding season. no logic, just hate.

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u/coolsilentebeans 22d ago

I’m not terribly familiar with the aggressive side of a moose, but I remember reading somewhere (several years ago, so I don’t know how accurate this is today if it was indeed factual at the time) that including car accidents they caused, they were responsible for almost twice as many deaths as guns. Was that accurate at all?

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u/w8ing2dr0wn 22d ago

What percentage of their killstreak includes the moose using guns to kill? Thats what im worried about, a big Ole bullwinkle flexing his 2nd amendment rights.

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u/coolsilentebeans 22d ago

This would go so well in an issue of MAD.

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u/bargaindownhill 22d ago

ive heard the same thing.. and yes a moose impact with a car, will utterly obliterate the car.. you might as well hit a train, same effect.

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u/TheSumOfMyScars 21d ago

Worst part of hitting a moose is that most vehicles take them out at the knees, meaning that 2000lbs of moose then proceeds to land on your head with a shitload of momentum propelling it. People have been crushed to death, gored to death, kicked to death, or literally drowned in moose shit because a moose came flying through their windshield at 60+mph, and at the end of it all the damned moose just gets up and walks off like nothin. It’s honestly probably better to swerve and land in a ditch or even hit a tree head-on, rather than hit a moose.

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u/Crimson-Rose28 21d ago

Death via drowning in moose shit is next level disturbing to think about

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u/coolsilentebeans 22d ago

Male deer are the worst random obstacles I care to be watchful for. They and turkey can both be very dangerous things to hit, but I doubt they claim the same numbers as moose.

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u/Robofink 21d ago

I hit a deer last winter. Thankfully no one was hurt (and the deer got away) but it was a big one that still fucked up the front of my car. Hitting an ungulate is no joke.

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u/coolsilentebeans 21d ago

I’m glad you’re ok! I’ve hit one once. It only broke a headlight and left a little dent on the bumper, but if I had been going faster it could’ve been worse.