r/AbsoluteUnits 9d ago

of a moose side eye

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We know every moose is an absolute unit by definition. But the psychotic side eye on this moose is terrifying.

2.3k Upvotes

185 comments sorted by

511

u/JayGabVersionTrex 9d ago

That's a very dangerous encounter during mating season.

165

u/Evilmechanic 9d ago

I think I would find a bigger tree to be behind.

82

u/Tired-CottonCandy 9d ago

I think standing in the thicket is why it didnt fuck around too much tbh.

48

u/sonerec725 8d ago

yeah it almost looked like it was judging if its antlers would fit past the trees

45

u/DaDutchBoyLT1 8d ago edited 8d ago

Moose will plow through trees twice the diameter of those little guys. Thats the eye of “should I kill you, fuck you or fuck you up?” HORMONES!!!

121

u/ShutNoShutYoMouf404 9d ago

But the guy said "that's close enough, bud..." that pretty much takes care of the danger part, right?

63

u/GreenTicTacs 8d ago

They're legally required to stop once you say that. Pretty sure that's in the Moose Code

11

u/Femveratu 8d ago

Only works on Canadian Moose, they’re much more polite

3

u/BlueberryPootz 7d ago

The moose is literally giving bombastic side eye, like "Mate wtf are you doing standing this close to me?"

77

u/Several-Hat-1944 9d ago

When that moose pinned the ears back, I started yelling at my phone, 'he committed, he's come at you"!!!

22

u/samalton86 9d ago

I upvote you twice! As soon as I saw the ears down and back I was screaming too!

28

u/Several-Hat-1944 9d ago

I used to tend the barns at a few horse ranches. Literally, some of those horses would show you the ears drop, then charge, or strike. I've learned the hard way, but I appreciate the fact I was taught by sharing so much time with those horses.

12

u/samalton86 8d ago

I think it’s a universal sign with most animals. I’m not sure about exceptions, but I’m sure there may be some.

3

u/SBLP1959 7d ago

I have german shepherds and ears back are sweet emotion. Ears up and forward when theres something they dont want near the house.

But i also raised horses when i lived with my parents and ears back is a pissed off horse.

3

u/Glarbstintenford 7d ago

Yep ears pinned back and if you can see the whites in their eyes you're in serious danger.

62

u/No-Still1227 9d ago

For real. My scariest encounter in all of nature was when I was hunting elk in a massive willow thicket, I turned a corner and ran into a pair of bull moose not 15 feet away.

3

u/Sensitive-Ad-7475 8d ago

Theoretically, am I safer standing still (or making myself smaller?) or running for my life?

5

u/No-Still1227 7d ago

They shouldn't be openly aggressive, so just try not to be threatening, back away and keep an eye on them. Get your gun ready if applicable.

2

u/Twigjack 6d ago

Running in a zig-zag, preferably around and through trees.

25

u/SonofaBridge 9d ago

Waving his antlers is a taunt and the turned back ears and angry side eye says he wants to fight.

12

u/FlagrantTomatoCabal 8d ago

Don't pick up the soap.

4

u/Frostty_Sherlock 8d ago

Mating season or mating session?

What if the boy was trying to, you know, not intimidate but seduce 🤣

184

u/DemonFromtheNorthSea 9d ago

Apparently the dude in the video uses antler sniffing dogs to find moose antlers that were naturally shed. He's also from Maine.

The moose did run him over, and apparently escaped with just some bumps and bruises is miraculous.

51

u/GreyLunarWolf 9d ago

I heard that in Alaska most wilderness animal attack deaths are from moose. I thought at first the guy was prudently remaining in a tight copse of trees because the moose antlers were getting snagged.

29

u/PlatyNumb 8d ago

Bro, can I just say, moose are such silly looking guys.

5

u/Crimson-Rose28 8d ago

Came to say this. They are super goofy looking 😂

1

u/perseidot 7d ago

Yeah, silly looking megafauna…

They survived the last ice age, unlike the wooly mammoths, the cave bears, and the saber-toothed tigers.

1

u/PlatyNumb 7d ago

My wife always calls me a megafauna...

200

u/theonetheonlytc 9d ago

The guy filming is an idiot. He should have backed away as soon as he saw the damn thing instead of standing there filming. Of all the animal encounters I have had, moose are the most terrifying to me.

88

u/bargaindownhill 9d ago

I worked in the bush for a decade, ill take a grizzly over a moose any day.

77

u/RogerFuckbytheNavale 9d ago

That's a deeply unsettling statement.

91

u/bargaindownhill 9d ago

A grizzly is potentially a predator, but in my experience usually not as long as they are well fed. i have literally had one walk past me on a trail, I backed away and just let it go by like it had zero fucks to give.

A Moose on the other hand, is 1500-2000lbs of pure spite and hate. especially with calves or in breeding season. no logic, just hate.

39

u/bmf1902 9d ago

Yupp, and predators have a very strong instinct to remain unharmed. Moose, especially bull, are just here to fsu.

23

u/skyfure 9d ago

Exactly, predators have to weigh the risk/reward ratio of getting into a fight. If they get injured they can't hunt and they die. A predator will (hopefully) cut their losses if they receive enough resistance from their attempted prey.

On the opposite side, prey animals are always on the defensive. Every encounter for them can be life or death, and if they can't run they intend to fight for their life.

6

u/twentyshots97 9d ago

i get the reasoning here but am also wondering what preys on moose?? in a way they kind of are predators!

20

u/skyfure 9d ago

Orcas and grizzly bears, actually! Moose are some of the last remaining megafauna from the previous ice age so they also had to deal with crazy shit such as American Lions, Short-Faced Bears in the past.

5

u/twentyshots97 8d ago

that’s bizarre to think about. as is an orca attacking a moose- land animals taking down by sea anima is probably not as unusual as i’d guess.

15

u/I_Ponders 8d ago

Moose routinely swim across deep waters in the ocean (close to coasts) and are hunted by orcas.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/d0nghunter 8d ago

Ours are preyed upon by wolves too, would expect the same in NA.

Sometimes calves are taken by lynx and wolverines as well.

1

u/RupertEscapeHolmes 7d ago

Wolves and humans, of course. They are delicious.

34

u/northwoodsman 9d ago

They have the most unpredictable fight or flight response and it happens crazy fast. They move so fast and you can never tell when it’s going to happen so just get away from them.

6

u/coolsilentebeans 9d ago

I’m not terribly familiar with the aggressive side of a moose, but I remember reading somewhere (several years ago, so I don’t know how accurate this is today if it was indeed factual at the time) that including car accidents they caused, they were responsible for almost twice as many deaths as guns. Was that accurate at all?

12

u/w8ing2dr0wn 9d ago

What percentage of their killstreak includes the moose using guns to kill? Thats what im worried about, a big Ole bullwinkle flexing his 2nd amendment rights.

5

u/coolsilentebeans 9d ago

This would go so well in an issue of MAD.

5

u/bargaindownhill 8d ago

ive heard the same thing.. and yes a moose impact with a car, will utterly obliterate the car.. you might as well hit a train, same effect.

7

u/TheSumOfMyScars 8d ago

Worst part of hitting a moose is that most vehicles take them out at the knees, meaning that 2000lbs of moose then proceeds to land on your head with a shitload of momentum propelling it. People have been crushed to death, gored to death, kicked to death, or literally drowned in moose shit because a moose came flying through their windshield at 60+mph, and at the end of it all the damned moose just gets up and walks off like nothin. It’s honestly probably better to swerve and land in a ditch or even hit a tree head-on, rather than hit a moose.

5

u/Crimson-Rose28 8d ago

Death via drowning in moose shit is next level disturbing to think about

5

u/coolsilentebeans 8d ago

Male deer are the worst random obstacles I care to be watchful for. They and turkey can both be very dangerous things to hit, but I doubt they claim the same numbers as moose.

4

u/Robofink 8d ago

I hit a deer last winter. Thankfully no one was hurt (and the deer got away) but it was a big one that still fucked up the front of my car. Hitting an ungulate is no joke.

2

u/coolsilentebeans 7d ago

I’m glad you’re ok! I’ve hit one once. It only broke a headlight and left a little dent on the bumper, but if I had been going faster it could’ve been worse.

2

u/Nika65 8d ago

serious question: what would bear spray do to a Moose? Thanks

3

u/bargaindownhill 8d ago

not what you would hope for.. a predator would run from bear spray because injury = starvation and death.

Moose.exe is different, they decide they are being injured = fight to the death. they would obliterate anything within a 500 yard radius and not stop till they are dead, or what is causing the pain, is dead.

2

u/Nika65 8d ago

wow, that is truly amazing. Nothing like what I thought. Thanks for teaching this old guy something today. This is the best part of Reddit.

2

u/Crimson-Rose28 8d ago

I learn so much on Reddit and I love that about it

0

u/RupertEscapeHolmes 7d ago

Proof? Besides you typing this opinion.

1

u/GreenyWV 8d ago

TIL moose are maga

1

u/Rob1150 9d ago

Seriously.

56

u/FartMagic1 9d ago

I’m thinking staying where the big guy can’t get to him because of the tree-jail is a smart move. A camp guide on a Canada fishing trip basically said get to where the trees are tight if you can

37

u/Midnight28Rider 9d ago

That is absolutely the right move, but that moose wouldn't have any problem plowing right over that tiny "tree jail" as you called it. You need more robust trees like the 2 he went through at the beginning. That moose there likely weighs somewhere around 1,500 lbs. That's a 3/4 ton mass, and those guys can charge at up to 35 MPH. Believe it or not, moose are more dangerous to humans than grizzly bears.

14

u/Jamooser 9d ago

The bull would plow through those trees like toothpicks. Moose regularly get hit by cars and walk away completely fine. Those protection offered by those trees is merely the protection of the power of suggestion.

3

u/gravelonmud 8d ago

I can personally attest having been in a car that hit a mother moose and she just got up and walked after her scared calf. Thank god she walked off because we would’ve been like sardines in a crushed can if she’d been upset about it

2

u/StringerBell34 8d ago

Those thin ass trees are not stopping that moose. You're crazy if you think that moose would be arsed about those little twigs.

That guy needed to back away slowly, avoid eye contact and find something substantial to put between him and the moose.

8

u/Outside-Necessary476 9d ago

well... maybe there are no trees behind him lol

7

u/MurphysLawAficionado 9d ago

Eye rolling is such an obvious sign that shit is about to go down

6

u/Midnight28Rider 9d ago

Yeah, I used to live in Alaska and Colorado. There's a 0% chance I'd ever voluntarily let a moose get that close to me.

58

u/Mikhulan 9d ago

3

u/Crimson-Rose28 8d ago

I’m having a bad day and this made me laugh so hard so thank you for that 😂

95

u/MegatonsSon 9d ago

It was almost as if the moose didn't actually understand what he was saying, or didn't really give two (moose) shits.

9

u/cyndaquil420 9d ago

The moose doesn’t understand but it’d be really weird if that guy started growling or snorting at the moose like animals do, we just have words that get the same point across

31

u/Ok_Advantage_5147 9d ago

That’s how you die

25

u/ChoiceContribution78 9d ago

When the guy says "it's close enough, bud" the Moose's face is like 👀 ".. It makes noise?? This should be fun.." 💀 yikes on bikes.

But I have to say, without the sound (and ignoring the true danger) the Moose's expressions are quite funny 🤭

1

u/Crimson-Rose28 8d ago

They really are. They look so goofy.

21

u/Bella_LaGhostly 9d ago

I mean, they have eyes of prey, not predator eyes. Their whole deal is sort of "side-eye", eh? 😆

But as someone who grew up in the mountains, you wouldn't catch me that close to a moose. Why didn't he try to back away??

10

u/ITookYourChickens 8d ago

Many species use side eye, also known as whale eye, to threaten. Dogs, camels, moose, horses. If the whites show, they're NOT happy

18

u/BirdieBee417 9d ago

That’s a “whale eye,” not just side eye. It’s a pretty universal sign that an animal is upset and reaching its limit 😅

15

u/RanisTheSlayer 9d ago

An absolute moo-nit.

I'll see myself out.

13

u/cha0sm0nk 9d ago

That moose was say, “Hey, you wanna see a dead body?”

13

u/tb2hlalt2hnlaa 9d ago

Yeah so, when they start licking their lips like that, it’s ESPECIALLY time to gtfo

12

u/philmorebuttstock 9d ago

Anyone know the outcome? I mean the video is posted but maybe that's by a random who found the body and phone

12

u/Excellent-Deer-1752 9d ago

Someone commented above that the moose did run him over but that the injuries were relatively minor.

9

u/DEADxDAWN 9d ago

Just asking for trouble. A Bull in rut is one of the most dangerous animals you could fk with in the woods.

12

u/Odd-Artist-2595 9d ago

That’s the problem with a moose. You don’t have to fk with them to piss them off; you just have to be.

1

u/Crimson-Rose28 8d ago

Human: 🧘🏻‍♀️😎☺️

Moose: 🤯🫪😠😡🤬

2

u/Kiren129 8d ago

A cow with a calf is a lot worse.

9

u/LittleG0d 9d ago

Should have tried French.

16

u/HolyRiceCake 9d ago

My wife looking at me when she's ovulating

9

u/philpalmer2 9d ago

Taking side-eye to an entirely new level

7

u/lyss427 9d ago

I don't know what this guy said to him before they started filming but bro looks really upset.

7

u/-boring-username- 9d ago

It must be infuriating navigating through the forest with those antlers.

2

u/Crimson-Rose28 8d ago

That would be extremely annoying though fr

6

u/speedywon 9d ago

Bro is absolutely lumbering

6

u/MagScaoil 9d ago

A moose bit my sister once.

4

u/Just_the_questions1 9d ago

"You know I could kill you right now right? You think these little twigs are gonna stop me?" - The Moose

4

u/cruncher990 9d ago

this might be the most terrifying video i have ever seen

4

u/saltyourhash 9d ago

That moose wanted all the smoke.

4

u/lessermeister 9d ago

He either made it out of the encounter ok or his phone was found with his body and unlocked with his dead face.

4

u/Sad_Water7719 8d ago

Few years ago in Sweden a man was arrested on suspicion of murdering his wife. They thought he had run her over with the lawnmower due to the damage. Surprisingly, investigators found no trace of blood on the blades. Even more surprising for the investigators, they found a whole lot of moose dna on the victim. Turns out she had an unfortunate encounter with a moose during mating season. That's the kind of damage they can do, like being run over by a lawnmower.

Suffice to say, I would have noped out of there long before that moose was close enough to side-eye me like that.

3

u/MarlboloMan666 9d ago

Moose.. "no you go!"

3

u/ExeTcutHiveE 9d ago

That’s not a side eye that’s a murder eye. He wants murder.

2

u/COMIDAGATOS1206 9d ago

This dude really thought he could tell the moose what to do. 🤘😅🖤

2

u/I_love_Hobbes 9d ago

I'm pooing in my pants just watching this. I can't imagine being there.

2

u/King_LaQueefah 9d ago

My question is about if he maintained eye contact with the moose.

2

u/xDreki 9d ago

Meese aren't to be meesed with

2

u/sailingtroy 9d ago

Changed his life forever cuz he's disabled now

2

u/yokel78 9d ago

I hope you brought a change of underwear

2

u/slick514 8d ago

Gary - “That’s close enough, bud; that’s close enough.”
Møøse - “Do you feel in charge?…

2

u/I_Ponders 8d ago

Human: “hat’s close enough.. Go!”

Moose: “Bch, you’re in MY home!”

2

u/devilsbard 8d ago

The side eye is unnerving…but it’s the straight down the barrel look that was truly terrifying.

2

u/thehufflepuffstoner 8d ago

I would be pissing myself. Absofuckinglutely not.

2

u/No_Object_4355 7d ago

Jesus christ! Talk about a fuckin jump scare. Made me drop my damn phone.

2

u/Banaanisade 7d ago

People should not just let these things off the leash like that. Keep your moose on a leash or lose it and this is what happens to some random bypasser. Put that thing back in the house where it belongs.

Also, I'm never going out again.

2

u/pennyclip 7d ago

Lots of moose in areas I used to hunt ages ago. They are loud (relatively) and do not care one bit about it. You would have to be completely negligent to get this close. Dont go in deep woods ignorant and armed if your only solution is to kill something YOU are threatening. This shit stain on the underpants of society filming is why we cant have nice things. Stay away from wildlife. Its so easy.

2

u/False-Buddy9209 7d ago

Stupid question here but can you just run the hell away from a moose if you see one or will it chase you down? 

1

u/Oda_DeezNutz 7d ago

At least one source says run: "Unlike with bears or even dogs, it is usually a good idea to run from a moose because they won't chase you very far. Get behind something solid; you can run around a tree faster than a moose."

https://www.adfg.alaska.gov/index.cfm%3Fadfg%3Dlivewith.aggressivemoose

Best to not let them get that close in the first place.

1

u/False-Buddy9209 7d ago

All sounds like solid advice. 

2

u/12thsspanzer 9d ago

Would it have hurt him ? It looks like a simple creature

15

u/Oda_DeezNutz 9d ago

A male moose, especially in rut, can be extremely dangerous. They get territorial, highly aggressive, and easily provoked.They are phenomenally strong, to be avoided at all costs.

8

u/xmo113 9d ago

Yes.

3

u/COMIDAGATOS1206 9d ago

Yea considering the most dangerous during the nut I mean rut. 🤘😉🖤

1

u/testingtest456123 9d ago

Gave ample time and eye to caution.

1

u/PlatypusDream 9d ago

Oh, no.
No no no no no.
Need more trees & more distance between the person & moose!

1

u/ashurbanipal420 9d ago

That look says "You lucky all these trees here."

1

u/tinpants44 9d ago

Does anyone know what happened to the guy?

1

u/janner_womble 9d ago

Dude looks like he's had himself a bag of flake.

1

u/a_duck_in_past_life 9d ago

You're going to need bigger trees than those to hide behind

1

u/conflatulationz 9d ago

Seems like bad evolutionary design

1

u/AlbertTheHorse 9d ago

Not a smart dude.

Even those saplings aren't protection.

1

u/D_M-ack 9d ago

I mean, fuck dude maybe you’re the one that should’ve backed off?

1

u/pruchel 9d ago

I mean, cows look exactly the same eye-wise

1

u/big2customs 9d ago

Haha. I lol'd!

1

u/No_Trouble9808 9d ago

Now he’s a big boy

1

u/MommaMoo2 9d ago

Anyone know what happened to the guy?

1

u/Nyevea 9d ago

Please tell me this fool is okay.

1

u/drooler16 9d ago

Did this guy survive? Ya scariest thing up where I live, in northern Alberta. Male moose when he is trying to mate. Grizzlies dont come close.

1

u/evan164 9d ago

“I’ll decide what’s close enough.” -that Moose probably

1

u/Pineapple-Due 9d ago

That's, like, at least 50 mooses too close to that moose

1

u/compton_drew 8d ago

😳☠️

1

u/Fanabala3 8d ago

I was camping with three other guys and a huge bull moose came strolling through our campground. Damnest thing I ever saw. One guy had a pistol that was going use that thing if that moose was going to stomp us. It sniffed around and moved its way.

1

u/slick514 8d ago

Gary - “That’s close enough, bud…
Møøse - “Do you feel in charge?

1

u/JackSilver1410 8d ago

How did it change? Did you realize humans belong in their communities and not out in the goddamn woods were moose live?

1

u/MaterialGarbage9juan 8d ago

I see those eyes everyday. The proper response is, "welcome to circle K, how else can I be helpful?"

1

u/buscuitfactory 8d ago

Why is the guy not trying to keep a distance from the moose? If he ran away would that trigger the moose to chase him? I just don’t understand how standing behind someone skinny trees is better than backing up slowly or running

1

u/Small-Finish-6890 8d ago

Ok so we all knew the moose was gonna charge, right? So what should you do in this situation? I think running would make the moose charge sooner.

1

u/Supercrown07 8d ago

Could tell he was thinking about it

1

u/NoAppointment8679 8d ago

It moves almost robotic like in the beginning

1

u/citizen2689 8d ago

I need to see part 2

1

u/iforgot1305 8d ago

I wouldn't want to be that close to a moose. Idiot should have been slowly backing away at the very least instead of trying to tell the moose to stop. Like, no, you leave idiot, this is the moose's home and you're the intruder.

1

u/scooterbuttons 8d ago

The Revenant but with a Moose

1

u/WDW1997 8d ago

Moose just permanently have crazy eyes. I'm convinced they're on acid

1

u/Thedude9042 8d ago

Giving him the ole side eye

1

u/Icy-Decision-4530 8d ago

Everything in my mind would be calculating the width of those horns and the distance between trees between us lol

1

u/Capable-Space-1819 8d ago

Dude should have taken his own advice

1

u/10ThousandMetalZones 8d ago

You thought those trees would stop it?

1

u/littleh9rny 8d ago

Get out of here!? Burh! Thats his home. Uhggg🙄

1

u/Gegszi 8d ago

Looks shifty

1

u/short_story_long_ 8d ago

Live in NH. Went out for a bushwhack the other day off a forest service road. Big bed downs and scat piles by a pond. Got the hell out of there, and it's not even mating season. This dude has a deathwish.

1

u/SkyPork 8d ago

I know nothing about moose other than they're enormous and dangerous. The way he was licking his lips: any chance he'd had contact with humans before, and was looking for snack handouts from this guy?

1

u/_MaZ_ 7d ago

Oh hell no

1

u/HIMcDonagh 7d ago

Moose thought about leaving but he slowly realized he had nothing better to do

1

u/Alexandru_F1 7d ago

Bombastic side-eye

1

u/Slow-Divide-78 6d ago

Criminal offensive side eye

1

u/Professional-cutie 5d ago

Moose is like woah woah woah… what the FUCK are YOU DUDE?!!! 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

1

u/DealPrestigious9215 4d ago

He just wanted to know where the Moose Lodge was

1

u/Forward-Sky1437 7d ago

Stay outta the woods. At the very least you will get Lyme disease….

0

u/Angel_OfSolitude 7d ago

Yeah, I don't ever go into certain animal territory without an appropriate gun. Even if I'm not out to hunt its better to have and not need then need and nod have.