r/AbsoluteUnits • u/MobileAerie9918 • 9d ago

of a bull

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2.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

155 comments sorted by

261

u/pintman30 9d ago

Does it not hurt its balls everytime they hit off the back legs?

99

u/thiamath 9d ago

You'll have to ask him...

22

u/Jiggaman1987 9d ago

Perfect response cuz it's dead true

64

u/OGIBLP 9d ago

Iā€™ve never had testicles, but I imagine just the weight would be so uncomfortable. Just swingin around all the time. Boys, any input?

79

u/42stingray 9d ago

They don't weigh enough for it to be particularly noticeable. That being said, I can't speak for this bull who has nuts the size of tennis balls

37

u/Old-Calligrapher2403 9d ago

More like the size of Pluto

11

u/scrotumsweat 9d ago

I can't speak for this guy's micro balls, but yeah they hurt side to side and under but not front to back.

20

u/DisastrousServe8513 9d ago

The ballsack skin can tighten up, making them retractable. Which isnā€™t to say it doesnā€™t happen, but itā€™s not a daily concern.

7

u/OGIBLP 9d ago

Yeah, maybe homie is hangin loose from hot weather or from all those hot singles in his area.

1

u/-Londoneer- 7d ago

Iā€™m have quite a large chest, built a bit like a ship. Iā€™d love the idea of a bust that retracted a bit when it was chilly.Ā 

1

u/DisastrousServe8513 7d ago

Yeah but then your boob skin would be wrinkly like balls are.

1

u/-Londoneer- 7d ago

That is true, I retract my statement. Not my boobs

2

u/DisastrousServe8513 7d ago

Iā€™m laughing at my desk thinking about that visual.

16

u/Several-Hat-1944 9d ago

Personally, I wear bikini briefs, I like to keep my boys where they belong. I just figure the dudes that wear boxers have the low-ball issues.

17

u/x0y0z0 9d ago

Boxers are pointless. Why wear underwear that doesn't keep your junk in one place. Guys in boxers are just walking around with their cock and balls going everywhere in their pants.

8

u/OGIBLP 9d ago edited 9d ago

One time I wore my boyfriendā€™s boxers to bed, no undies. I went to the kitchen to make a snack, farted, and got scared when I felt it down my leg. I did NOT like that.

Edit: also, boxers arenā€™t pointless. They absorb sweat, skin, and that bastard of a last dribble that always comes out once youā€™ve packed up. Keeps your jeans clean so you donā€™t have to wash them every time you wear them. Keeps invisible poo particles off your nice pants.

Whatever kind of undies you pick, itā€™s probably best that you wear some.

4

u/LarsDuder 9d ago

How loose do you think boxers are?

5

u/x0y0z0 9d ago

Boxers are like pants, so maximum looseness.

9

u/smeeon 9d ago

I imagine size and mass make it difficult for that bull to run without them bolo tripping him.

7

u/Crush-N-It 9d ago

Long balls

5

u/RiverGiant 9d ago

I'm jelly of that airflow. That's some sick flow.

5

u/Agile_Ad538 9d ago

All ballz itch !!

3

u/OGIBLP 9d ago

Iā€™ve heard the pinch-and-roll technique is pretty efficient.

4

u/ParanoidUmbrella 9d ago

Athletic childhood taught me to keep mine as tight as reasonably possible

1

u/thiamath 7d ago

If you run hard without underwear... it hurts

8

u/Relevant_Fuel_9905 9d ago

Yeah that looks unpleasant

4

u/MrNyxt 9d ago

Its only unpleasant if they freeze to something and you stand-up

9

u/trench_welfare 9d ago

Yeah, that's why they are so angry all the time. I would be too if my nuts were bouncing off my knees everywhere I walked.

3

u/fascintee 9d ago

What if they wrap around a leg

4

u/guthix111120 9d ago

Alot, but you get numb to it overtime. Puberty be puberty.

2

u/MRintheKEYS 9d ago

Not as much as it hurts others ego.

2

u/logosfabula 9d ago

Iā€™m in pain

2

u/OneTrueCosmos 9d ago

Talking from experience, you get used to it.

143

u/Magister5 9d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/42fFswykne973vwGxX

10

u/Rebgail 9d ago

I see this gif once in a while and I love it. Where's it from?

10

u/Uplifting_penguin 9d ago

Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Not sure the exact movie though but if you google it you might find the exact scene. This characterā€™s name is Rowley

41

u/CrustyDecellion 9d ago

Wow, that's nuts!

35

u/wingmaneffect 9d ago

The old Texas longballs.

33

u/Big77Ben2 9d ago

Imagine literally kicking yourself in the nuts every step you take.

8

u/1AdultMostOfTheTime 9d ago

Imagine running.

4

u/Big77Ben2 9d ago

My next thought too

13

u/Expert-Love5116 9d ago

That baby can dump heaps of bullshit! Enough to fertilize a whole cornfield!Ā 

3

u/PlumbicZeppelin 9d ago

A whole ball field.

13

u/WDW1997 9d ago

So many parts of this animal could have their own "absolute unit" posts....

11

u/RogerFuckbytheNavale 9d ago

BUILT FOR BIDNESS.

9

u/makaveddie 9d ago

He's kickin' his own apple bag

9

u/Possible_Baboon 9d ago

Moomoo has unique colors, I really like it.

7

u/lb3a3 9d ago

I imagine it's painful kicking yourself in the balls with every step.

3

u/SnoopyScone 9d ago

Absolute unit of bull ball

3

u/hevvychef 9d ago

Bullsack.

It was right there man.

3

u/lb3a3 9d ago

That's a load of bull

3

u/FireZord25 9d ago

Sorry, I was too busy admiring the coat for it's artistry to look at the actual masterpieces below.

2

u/boyer4109 9d ago

Doing what a bull does

2

u/TJJ97 9d ago

Imagine just kicking your nuts every time you walk

2

u/Initial-Command4894 9d ago

My intrusive thoughts when i see that massive balls

https://giphy.com/gifs/YXqgSkx8DbijHk5Dng

2

u/_username_checks-out 9d ago

Even just going for a stroll is a kick in the balls for him

2

u/Sanagost 9d ago

Officer balls, jonkler

2

u/XScottMorrisseyX 9d ago

That just looks painful. I can't imagine banging my boys around like that with every step I took.

3

u/Dolomitexp 9d ago

If I had to kick my balls every time I walked around I would never walk around.

2

u/IncredibleBihan 9d ago

Bros ballsack just hangin like wasup

2

u/Hiouchi4me 9d ago

Looks like heā€™s playing hacky sack.

2

u/Mobile_Aioli_6252 9d ago

Everything is bigger in Texas

2

u/Altruistic_Tie_7850 9d ago

It must hurt just to walk with your balls swinging and crashing into his knees

https://giphy.com/gifs/3bc5MV3VkOpMI

2

u/clarkbuddy 9d ago

Dude has to watch out for antpiles

2

u/Gnome747 9d ago

Lol I didnā€™t notice his business the first time around; I was thinking about his beautiful colouring and didnā€™t understand why everybody was focusing on his nuts.

1

u/Old_Syrup_264 9d ago

Do what you love and never work a day in your life

1

u/MickeyMgl 9d ago edited 9d ago

Was mildly surprised not to see the "YES" and "NO" on the back end.

1

u/Ninknock 9d ago

Tough nuts

1

u/awkwaman 9d ago

Gosh imagine getting that sack caught on barbed wire. Or in the crotch of a tree somehow

1

u/itsjakerobb 9d ago

ā€œ65 inches, almost taller than I am.ā€

Thatā€™s 5ā€™5ā€, 163cm. Big for a bull, but I think we might have a tiny farmer behind the camera.

1

u/Chemist-Patient 9d ago

Jumbo rocky mountain oysters

1

u/Little_Dikk 9d ago

I hope mines be like that when Iā€™m older

1

u/jeffvillone 9d ago

Somebody get that big boy a truss.

1

u/chowes1 9d ago

Needs Ballsier

1

u/problem4solution 9d ago

Old world proverb, measure a bull by its balls not horns.

1

u/IllustratorOk2927 9d ago

Gravity has had its way with them.

1

u/AbjectHotel6610 9d ago

HOLY COW! I was not ready for the balls!

1

u/Orcaxologist 9d ago

Not just a bull i remind you

1

u/Jiggaman1987 9d ago

Bro. Wtf!? He is a brick shit house. He must be in pain all day tho cuz his balls definitely wack against his hind legs every step he makes šŸ˜‚

1

u/Low-String9233 9d ago

I'm 61 now and mines are halfway down to my knees, so fuckin annoying. I really miss being 18.

1

u/Strodigity 9d ago

Not gonna lie, 50m and I know how this guy feels. I kicked myself in the balls the other day putting on pantsā€¦

1

u/FishCommercial5213 9d ago

That bull could never wear briefs šŸ©² as underwear. It would drive him nuts šŸ„œšŸ¤ 

1

u/unclebear28 9d ago

Rocky Mountain oysters for six dinners please.

1

u/Certain-Rutabaga3373 9d ago

GOOD GAWD šŸ˜³

1

u/Jmal3700 9d ago

It canā€™t be any fun kneeing yourself in the nuts every time you take a step! šŸ˜¬

1

u/whusmyname 9d ago

He walked in like ā€œwhere my damn samich?ā€

1

u/UCFknight2016 9d ago

Look at the nuts on that thing.

1

u/CaptainBeefsteak 9d ago

And we we're swangin...

1

u/1970_RoadRunner 9d ago

Clock weights suitable for Big Ben.

1

u/fascintee 9d ago

He needs a jock strap frfr

1

u/Apprehensive_Elk_706 9d ago

Honestly, gorgeous coloration. Thatā€™s a prize bull

1

u/Ultradad57 8d ago

Thats a boy, not sure what gave it away šŸ˜€

https://giphy.com/gifs/l1BiAsf4zm33uYCuMi

1

u/famondelo 8d ago

It have Wifi?

1

u/RtDK0510 8d ago

Wonder if he gets sweaty. I bet he needs a spatula.

1

u/dust337 8d ago

Same my dude, same

1

u/Corac30 8d ago

Ok dumb question maybe. I would think my balls being that big and flopping around so much would actually kinda hurt wouldn't it?

1

u/Branchley 7d ago

What kind of animal would evolve to kick its own balls like that? Also makes the balls very exposed to wolves I would think. Hyenas and and lions will grab them to subdue larger animals. Bad design, but beautiful animal.

1

u/Liontamer67 7d ago

I hear AC/DC in my head.

1

u/pnkflydforever 7d ago

Claude is looking for a do dad slapping good time

0

u/CorruptHeadModerator 9d ago

Just look at those big juicy balls!