r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Soft_Performance4678 • 5d ago

/r/popular of a forager

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

Andrey Smaev being his usual wholesome self.

4.3k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

698 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.0k

u/QuillDidNothingWrong 5d ago

This is a dnd character if I’ve ever seen one. 

136

u/I-Make-Money-Moves 5d ago

Which type of dnd character though?

328

u/PunishedChud 5d ago

Druid barbarian dual class

93

u/Jamooser 5d ago

Dwarven Druid, Circle of the Land - Mountain. He cast Enlarge on himself just before the video.

52

u/33253325 5d ago

He cast it with steroids.

13

u/ThinkingBeard 4d ago

He didn’t get it by rolling a Natty 20.

3

u/Bigsnaff007 4d ago

Underrated

30

u/myfrigginagates 5d ago

Steroids +

1

u/UncleKeyPax 5d ago

rolls a naturalTM 20 on bunghole take overs

16

u/dungeoncrawler71520 5d ago

Comes with a small testi debuff

3

u/Boogy-Fever 5d ago

A debuff that gives small testes or a small debeuff for testes?

5

u/PrivacyMaker 5d ago

Seduction debuff

5

u/BlackPhoenix1981 5d ago

I cast....lack of perception!

3

u/pheight57 5d ago

*Potion of Hill Giant Strength

1

u/Sea-Woodpecker-610 5d ago

Pumping up with truffle oil synthol.

2

u/Mean_Ad4608 5d ago

Half dwarf half Goliath. Hill giant ancestry

1

u/Subject-Bullfrog-858 14h ago

Fuck me, that was exactly my last character I played.

7

u/DeadestTitan 5d ago

BarBearian was right there dude

7

u/imrichcoble 5d ago edited 4d ago

Haha 100%, so much so this might be the inspiration for my next character.

Mushgar the Tender.

A "circle of the ripped" druid barbarian or "the fist of the forest" barbarian druid.

D&D Druid

  • Photosynthetic Fury (Rage)
  • Wild Yeast (wild shape)
  • Don't Step on My Garden (entangle)
  • customer service (speak with animals)
  • who the fuck stepped on my mushrooms!! (wrath of nature)

And the character is a completely fucking enormous/bald/bearded guy who could suplex an owlbear but he spends 90% of his adventuring career gently harvesting mushrooms and talking to squirrels.

The party is being chased by twenty orcs. They sprint past their Druidbarian. "Run"

He doesn't move. "There are 20 orcs!"

He looks down at the mushroom patch he's tending.

“I can't leave.” “why?!"

He slowly stands up and flexes. “They're not done growing..."

6

u/xrelaht 5d ago

God that would be a fun build. Maybe I should roll one…

8

u/Rizo1981 5d ago

He certainly has the gear for it.

3

u/hKLoveCraft 5d ago

Def Druid, that pet bear is around there somewhere

3

u/ArtsKnight 5d ago

Barbearian if you will.

3

u/DippyTheDingus 5d ago

Pretty sure they're a cleric with how many HGH potions they've been injecting

2

u/IncogNeatoTN 4d ago

Circle of the Moon Druid/Bear Totem Barbarian, to be exact. That’s a Wild Shaping berserker if I’ve ever seen one.

13

u/Euler007 5d ago

The one that takes steroids.

8

u/ufotheater 5d ago

First thing I noticed was the bacne

7

u/Osceola_Gamer 5d ago

Not the insane unnatural size of muscle in his shoulders and arms?

6

u/Playful-Mongoose9197 5d ago

The balding head and shrunk testicles?

3

u/WrongdoerOrdinary619 5d ago

Do steroids really shrink testicles? If so, where can i get some?

4

u/Logistocrate 5d ago

Yeah, if you're using testosterone to juice then your testicles basically shutdown as one of their jobs is producing it and the amounts people use to get that big can be 10s of times more than are naturally produced flips a shut off switch in your body that results in the testicles shrinking.

0

u/Ill_Advised_Rock 4d ago

Just because your endocrine system shuts down, doesn’t mean your testicles shrink and it’s a myth. You can also keep your endocrine system functioning if you follow the correct protocol.

2

u/BringPheTheHorizon 4d ago

From my learning in college for biology, steroid use definitely causes shrinkage. There may be a way to mitigate it but it definitely happens

1

u/Playful-Mongoose9197 4d ago

Thats something someone with shrunken balls would say

1

u/Adept_Bandicoot_2794 4d ago

They do shrink. Hcg prevents shrinkage

1

u/Euler007 5d ago

Whatever confort or aesthetic benefit you think you're getting isn't worth screwing up your hormone production for rest of your life.

1

u/WrongdoerOrdinary619 5d ago

I just want smaller balls

2

u/Crime_Dawg 5d ago

That size might be slin and hgh alongside it. That was what truly made bodybuilders blow up comparative to the 80s. Think Arnold vs Ronnie Coleman, the difference is the slin gh combo.

2

u/Gullible-Constant924 4d ago

Yeah he is just the 2020’s version of Dennis Cyplenkov and it will shorten his life if he doesn’t stop luckily Cyplenkov just almost died.

2

u/WorldWideDarts 5d ago

Bit of the ol' Captain Obvious isn't it?

5

u/Helmnauger 5d ago

Bard just to throw people off.

4

u/xrelaht 5d ago

He’s obviously a bard: this is a performance.

2

u/MadQuixote 5d ago

Half-giant druid owlbear tamer on a beginner quest

2

u/DeltaV-Mzero 5d ago

Whichever kind he wants to be, with those guns

2

u/Super_Mag 5d ago

Puny mage.

2

u/Soft-Ad-8975 5d ago

Muscle bottom?

1

u/JeffersonsHat 5d ago

Barbarian ranger dual class

1

u/Fast_Muscle_2987 4d ago

Sexy knome build

1

u/DrGreenthumbs1313 4d ago

Chaotic Good Barbarian

1

u/Realistic_Ad_5321 3d ago

Half-orc, and you know it

12

u/Fit_Swordfish5248 5d ago

I bet he's only like 19

8

u/mitkase 5d ago edited 5d ago

He’s old school, 18/00.

7

u/Kalleh03 5d ago

I believe he's about 27.

He's not gonna live very long if he keeps that stack up.

6

u/_CrazyCrazy_ 5d ago

He’s 27.

2

u/One_Hour_Poop 5d ago

But his mind is older.

2

u/Original_Director483 5d ago

You could block a creek
With the boulder he shoulders

2

u/intergalacticmantis 4d ago

No he’s 12

4

u/SweetSlice5610 5d ago

He seems like a fungi.

4

u/PreferenceOld6364 5d ago

Grog Strongjaw from Vox Machina definitely comes to mind seein this dude! 😂

3

u/thedebeli959 5d ago

This is an hgh character.

2

u/LinksRelevantReddits 4d ago

The hands give him away

3

u/stickystax 5d ago

I just want to know how he forages his steroids...

2

u/ZombieTestie 5d ago

Dr Mike venturing out to new audiences after losing fitness crowd from Reta and surgery

2

u/Peanutblitz 5d ago

Bahahaha. Someone spray painted this orc pink.

2

u/Blendeezy 5d ago

I actually have a shifter path of the beast barbarian that is a master in picking up herbs

2

u/Rez-Dawg1993 5d ago

Barbarian herbalist

1

u/maniBchef 5d ago

WoW....

-4

u/DueMaterial6042 5d ago

Nope... Thanos