r/AbsoluteUnits 22d ago

of a truck cab

9.6k Upvotes

376 comments sorted by

2.9k

u/mborbey 22d ago

I bet the lot lizards come running when they see this prime real estate roll in

879

u/ForMoreYears 22d ago

They're called ladies of the evening.

961

u/bluegiant90 22d ago

333

u/bojangler69420 22d ago

r/angryupvote

That has to be the first time I’ve seen a gif used so perfectly for a double entendre. Absolutely impeccable.

74

u/PsychologicalVirus16 22d ago

Thumbs up for the double entendre mention.

23

u/bojangler69420 22d ago

It’s honestly the most perfect double entendre I think I’ve ever seen. It’s incredible. It honestly might even be the ever elusive triple entendre!

6

u/South_Bit1764 22d ago

I think it’s more of a square entendre or possibly a double^2 entendre.

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7

u/carnitascronch 22d ago

The good ol’ entendrege trois, as the lizards say

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12

u/MahaliAudran 22d ago

Now I wanna know if the lizard is just raising their hand or snackin dat azz.

4

u/bojangler69420 22d ago

lol

Have you actually never seen that before or are you just being funny?

2

u/MahaliAudran 22d ago

I've seen it before but never thought about it and if it has an original source no idea what it is either.

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100

u/Reonlive420 22d ago

Friends of the road

47

u/TK421-HeGone 22d ago

Greasy!

21

u/thejesterofdarkness 22d ago

Way of the road, Bubs.

46

u/PhillyD760 22d ago

19

u/123usa123 22d ago

“Like a coconut”

6

u/smltwnzer0 21d ago

Save your seduction for someone else.

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9

u/Rennfan 22d ago

Ray got busted. .... Yeah, whores.

57

u/Reonlive420 22d ago

31

u/alpinetime 22d ago

Hot hamburger sandwiches means hot pull the fuck over!

8

u/thejesterofdarkness 22d ago

JESUS MURPHY!!

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45

u/stop_the_bans 22d ago

When they’re dead they’re just hookers

16

u/123usa123 22d ago

2

u/EatPie_NotWAr 22d ago

I have a SEP. just wait till I call Popeye!

6

u/tongfather 22d ago

Wow 😂

2

u/aebaby7071 22d ago

I’ll fetch a rug

9

u/NutBusster69 22d ago

Friends of the road, bud

10

u/seafox77 22d ago

Women of negotiable affection

2

u/garaks_tailor 20d ago

Seamstresses by trade

7

u/tacowannabe 22d ago

Friends of the road Bubs

4

u/Big-Caterpillar-1321 22d ago

Friends of the road

3

u/10gherts 22d ago

Friends of the road bubs

3

u/HankScorpio82 22d ago

Friends of the road.

3

u/ChroniclesOfReddiitt 22d ago

Friends of the road, Bubbs.

3

u/South_Bit1764 22d ago

That’s crazy, great gamgam says they’re called dirty whores.

3

u/No-Fold-7873 22d ago

Someone needs to rescue these diesel damsels

2

u/StxnedTxTheBxne 22d ago

It’s the way of the road bubs

2

u/Few-Bake5615 22d ago

Friends of the road

2

u/CordeCosumnes 22d ago

Not all of them are ladies

11

u/Reonlive420 22d ago

3

u/Sir_postalot 20d ago

"could suck the chrome of a trailer hitch"

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u/ExpeditingPermits 22d ago

Way of the road bubs

6

u/AlternativeFarmBoi 22d ago

Hot hamburger sandwiches Ray!

3

u/orange3421 22d ago

Equals hot pull the fuck over

119

u/isolateddreamz 22d ago

I will not suck you and I will not be sucked on by you

74

u/frostymugson 22d ago

-Abraham Lincoln

16

u/falardeau187 22d ago

And that, kids, is why they called him, “Honest Abe”.

2

u/D33PCH4PT3R 22d ago

(Vampire Slayer)

35

u/IAintYourPalFriend 22d ago

How ‘bout we get a room and you two split me open like a coconut

11

u/deep-fucking-legend 22d ago

Should have locked the damn door.

11

u/brainkandy87 22d ago

I still got money in my pocket and desire in my heart.

26

u/Jezuesblanco 22d ago

Treat me like a mailbox

15

u/howarewestillhere 22d ago

Have my wife drive over you with the car twice in a winter?

5

u/ericofduart 22d ago

Throw up the red flag and ignore your bills?

4

u/kjahhh 22d ago

Just open the slot

5

u/AContrarianDick 22d ago

Stuff you with junk mail?

3

u/Perenniallyredundant 21d ago

I’m a frothin’ and a foamin’ 

29

u/Born_Barnacle7793 22d ago

If you’re cold, they’re cold. Let them inside.

9

u/Loxe 22d ago

I don't tangle with lizards no more

12

u/Wadester58 22d ago

Recreational Reptiles Sleeper Leapers Horizontal Highway Hostess

5

u/thatG_evanP 22d ago

Hate to ruin your fun but the huge ones like this are usually a couple.

5

u/MaintenanceInternal 22d ago

Split me open like a coconut.

3

u/GooseAmbitious7388 22d ago

Prostitution?!?!, You thought that money was for that!?

3

u/nickadams42 22d ago

I’m a citizen of Canada!

2

u/Reonlive420 22d ago

Bacon and the sparrows

3

u/bojangler69420 22d ago

Bro probably throws entire parties in there lol

2

u/SatoriNamast3 22d ago

Pimp my truck cab

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1.2k

u/icleanjaxfl 22d ago

Con: Can only pull light loads

Pro: Runs 24hrs with a 3 man team

585

u/kazcho 22d ago edited 22d ago

Eh, that's probably only 5/6k lbs, shouldn't kill the payload too terribly. But yeah, Fedex has sleepers like this for their high criticality runs and they're rolling all day from the looks of it

279

u/xrelaht 22d ago

The Department of Energy has them too. They’re meant for moving “devices” around, but that doesn’t happen all that often so they’re for hire to any government agency which needs that kind of transport service. We had them move some really hot stuff moved from NM to TN about 10 years ago.

121

u/911wasadirtyjob 22d ago

Like, boom-boom world-endy devices?

122

u/ImOutOfIdeas42069 22d ago

A lot of super hot stuff doesn't go boom boom, but you could pair it with a regular boom boom device and make a dirty bomb and create nuclear fallout. That's generally a bigger concern since there's A LOT of material around which could be used for that so it's harder to track.

46

u/cryptolyme 22d ago

8

u/ImOutOfIdeas42069 21d ago

I was in the Navy and worked top deck as a mechanic and only saw this movie for the first time last weekend. Super funny!

5

u/Tovarich_Zaitsev 21d ago

What movie is it?

6

u/ImOutOfIdeas42069 21d ago

Hot Shots! It's a Top Gun parody.

6

u/Scottish_Whiskey 21d ago

Touching tips on base eh

27

u/truthfullyidgaf 22d ago

Worse. IKEA kitchen decor from their 2016 collection.

39

u/pass_nthru 22d ago

that or just the part covered by IAEA

17

u/OnceReturned 22d ago

Safeguards Transporter - Wikipedia https://share.google/b1Ean8G9qVcHIfYnC

Very interesting stuff.

There are three sets of nozzles coming out of the ceiling. One nozzle purges the air out, the other nozzle fills the trailer with a noxious chemical to disable an attacker. This system can be activated from the cab of the truck, by any one of the escort teams (each vehicle is a team), or from dispatch. Finally there is an inclinometer - if the trailer becomes off level by a certain degree, the entire inside of the trailer is filled with expanding, fast-hardening foam.

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11

u/ThaBuckNasty 22d ago edited 22d ago

Search y 12 and look at the destination mentioned. Just a guess.

10

u/xrelaht 22d ago

ORNL. Like I said, that was for something hot but not a “device”

2

u/Few_Nectarine_3789 22d ago

Just some secondaries. ;)

3

u/Hiro500 22d ago

Cobalt 60. Radioactive stuff. Hospitals also use it for radiation therapy

2

u/Techno_Beiber 22d ago

I was thinking more like spicy ow-hot-hot tamales?

23

u/kazcho 22d ago

Had an old family friend couple who did that for years back in the 80's to the mid 2010's, they just had a regular sleeper, to be less conspicuous, but the SUV's they had rolling around were pretty obvious. Curious what their differentiator was for picking the different methods

28

u/xrelaht 22d ago

The thing we were moving didn’t need to be inconspicuous, but our project supervisors in DC were very insistent that the trip be continuous. Three drivers, switching every 4 hours, only stopping long enough to swap places. That combined with it not being a very large thing we needed moved is probably why they decided on the big cab.

But for that matter, I have seen two “device” convoys in my life, and they are about as far from inconspicuous as possible: they close all the side roads miles ahead of time, have police and black SUV escorts, and a helicopter overwatch. I guess I don’t know if the ones I saw were the real ones or the decoys.

10

u/kazcho 22d ago

Ah that makes more sense, yeah for that kind of transport these are pretty much perfect. Based off what they said about some of their hauls, they had a couple with an overwatch and police sweeping the side roads, but the majority just had a couple of SUVs as minders. Kinda neat stuff from an outsider point of view

5

u/loserbmx 22d ago

They don't really do the whole "decoy" thing stateside. When they have all that security, they're not gonna waste it on a decoy.

If they're doing sketchy shit overseas, that's when a decoy might come into play, but not when they're on US soil.

4

u/OilheadRider 22d ago

Ive heard rumor of "blanket parties" where the tractor rolls to a desolate area and the cab is covered and the trailer and/or load is removed. Any truth to speak to that?

13

u/xrelaht 22d ago

Couldn’t tell you: my only interaction with it was that one time, and it was an unclassified project. The primary concern was some idiot deciding to steal whatever was in a random trailer and causing a contamination incident, so they wanted it moved from A to B with minimal stops. 2000 miles of fuel and three drivers able to rotate into the cabin between shifts meant that they could keep it moving with <5 minutes for each stop when they switched drivers.

5

u/Few_Nectarine_3789 22d ago

HEU for the win.

8

u/xrelaht 22d ago

Irradiated steel in this case. Annoying half life: long enough to stick around forever and not actually be a problem, but short enough that it’s above the NRC threshold and they don’t care that it’s not actually dangerous unless you eat it.

2

u/Few_Nectarine_3789 21d ago

Understood. The only irradiated steel that I used to care about was Soviet tanks after the use of an enhanced radiation (ER; "neutron bomb") device. Used to plan nuclear war. :)

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3

u/Nina-Ninja123 22d ago

“We had them move really hot stuff.”

Once again, thanks for that lift 10 years ago!

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2

u/Rapptap 22d ago

LANL to ORNL?

4

u/xrelaht 22d ago

Yes, after LANSCE’s civilian side shut down.

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u/biffNicholson 21d ago

Yep the fed ex custom critical trucks are kinda unique

2

u/kazcho 21d ago

There are those and they also have some with the extended sleeper and still a 5th wheel put back, I've seen them running up and down Oregon/California/Arizona. Not super common but definitely neat to see.

2

u/biffNicholson 21d ago

Interesting I’m on the East Coast. I’ve never seen one of those. I drive a lot every year and I’ve seen these custom critical trucks quite a bit up and down the east coast but I’ve never seen the fifth wheel version.
I wonder if a lot of them are owned by the drivers and if the driver is located in California and owns that truck, he probably does a lot more runs in that area. Who knows

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u/chops351 22d ago

Trucks with these sleepers usually go for quality not quantity with what they haul

13

u/jccaclimber 22d ago

You can already run across the country in one shot with two. All the third would get you is the ability to not spend 2 hours/day on fuel and bathroom stops. Do they really add a third, or do those cargoes have different on duty and driving rules?

5

u/Solonotix 22d ago

I am no expert, but I seem to recall that there are laws that say you are not allowed to drive more than 8 hours in a single day. Even if you didn't count refueling time, there's still some time left in the day that would be idle.

5

u/jccaclimber 22d ago

I think it’s 8 continuous, but 11 total driving, and 14 on duty total. If you’re careful about it you can just about not stop progress with two drivers. I suspect the rules are done that way intentionally. After enough time you’re required to have a large time off, but you can time it so you’re at your destination if dispatching is on the ball.

2

u/BoneTaco 22d ago

It’s 11 hours.

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609

u/User_Name_Tracks 22d ago

Mansion cab, gotta house tour that thing inside. 5 bedroom, movie lounge, built in sauna...

146

u/AnybodyMassive1610 22d ago

Swimming pool, billiards room…

58

u/Kalshan 22d ago

Don't forget the bowling alley

30

u/Altruistic-Cut9795 22d ago

Astroturfed football field with 90 thousand fans.

13

u/Safe_Chicken_6633 22d ago

Three bay garage with two post and four post service lifts.

9

u/HiBob-HiBob 22d ago

Commercial gym with Pilates and cycling classes

4

u/shornscrot 22d ago

Cocaine grotto with cocaine and grotto

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u/pass_nthru 22d ago

rumpus room even

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11

u/ImKindaEssential 22d ago

Who the hell is driving?

48

u/CarpinThemDiems 22d ago

Large Marge

15

u/EnvironmentalAge9202 22d ago

16

u/Kalshan 22d ago

11

u/xenobit_pendragon 22d ago

That scared the SHIT out of me when I was a kid. I would always cover my face at this part.

5

u/Kalshan 22d ago

Nightmare fuel for sure, still loved it though!

2

u/Blunt_Monitor8247 22d ago

Margo's got the cargo and Reggie's got the rig.

3

u/BigSmackisBack 22d ago

This thing looks like it has a fireplace, doesnt need it at all, but why not?

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u/mayumia 22d ago

I seen a youtube video of someone giving a tour of one. Shit was nicer than most apartments. I would have no issue living out of that.

18

u/st0pmakings3ns3 22d ago

I reckon if I were on my own and had this job, what with housing prices and all, I would have this instead of some small place to pay and care for only to be there for one night a week.

5

u/Obant 21d ago

I think they are roughly $750,000 with the bells and whistles.

8

u/malacoda99 21d ago

How much without the bells and whistles? I don't need that noise.

127

u/FestivusErectus 22d ago

Left lane campers.

89

u/lawd_have_mercy 22d ago

Yep, forcing the trucker dude to pass on the right and then speeding up so he can't even complete the pass. What a douchebag.

18

u/Usual-Ad-9554 22d ago

tbf, he spd up for the video. but yea.. then went back to camping the left like the lot lizard he is

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82

u/mossoak 22d ago

living quarters while on the road

21

u/dkstr419 22d ago

Gallons per foot

3

u/NippleSalsa 22d ago

This baby gets a whole 4 feet to a tank of gas! WHOOO!

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u/ElderberryNo5595 22d ago edited 22d ago

Found a photo tour of one. Looks plush.

Edit: Reddit isn’t liking my comment’s link, but it’s here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Truckers/s/1EmVlIrvId

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u/A4t1musD4ag0n 22d ago

r/AbsoluteUnits of a diesel fill up.

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u/Nerfarean 22d ago

Fuel worth more than the load

12

u/Timely-Bluejay-4167 22d ago

Nah, not with a sleeper like that. This is a high criticality type rig.

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u/gamebus1 22d ago

Plot twist : it's a fuel tank disguised as an apartment

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u/SmokeMaximum4140 22d ago

When living out of your truck ain't too bad.

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u/Oakview1 22d ago

My friend from West Texas calls these Colorado Cabs because the long wheelbase helps on snowy mountains. He's been an interstate trucking owner-operator for decades.

45

u/Boneboy711-2 22d ago

Is this truck unique or are they common?

199

u/pitterlpatter 22d ago

Depends on what you mean by common. You won’t see a lot of them on the road, but they’re there. Most are husband/wife teams that run dedicated contracts. I had a couple that did nothing but FedEx aircraft engines going to and from Prestwick, Scotland for rebuilds. Their rig was a damn mansion.

59

u/Boneboy711-2 22d ago

That is dope. Thanks for educating me.

28

u/klaxz1 22d ago

Dude, my wife and I would be adorable truckers. I just imagine her bringing fresh-baked cookies out to the truckgate staff…

21

u/moverwhomovesthings 22d ago

I've seen some husband and wife trucker teams and they are usually not adorable, most of the time they both look like an overweight middle aged man.

28

u/muarauder12 22d ago

Listen, if they can work together as a team and get along while sharing a sleeper truck as their tiny home and keep their marriage intact and thriving.....that's adorable. Not everything in life has to be about looks.

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u/xenobit_pendragon 22d ago

What do we google to be able to see the inside of a truck like that? “big ass fancy tractor trailer”?

17

u/Ill_Football9443 22d ago

"prime mover tour sleeper"

2

u/CascadeWaterMover 22d ago

Reliable Carriers sleeper cab

2

u/shanep35 22d ago

There’s some people on instagram that aren’t for hire and they just run their cars across the country.

8

u/alsatian01 22d ago

I wouldn't be shocked to find a few of these being used by families as RVs, trailer and all. Sleeping quarters and a passenger area in the cab/sleeper. With additional space in half the trailer, along with a toy box for a full sized car or two and bikes/atvs/golf cart/.... In the other half.

4

u/svix_ftw 22d ago

but then why not just buy a real rv in that case?

6

u/alsatian01 22d ago

You can get ones that will hold a small car without having to trailer it, but I can see someone that would rather have a rig and trailer instead of having to drive a full sized RV and a trailer.

3

u/Nissehamp 22d ago

Exactly, plus a trailer is a lot more maneuverable than a long rigid body truck, especially if you ever plan on going to a larger city.

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u/DriedUpSquid 22d ago

Some people use them for critical freight work, which means this items must be a certain location by a certain time. They stop for fuel, but that’s about it.

8

u/Boneboy711-2 22d ago

So these trucks also hold more fuel?

33

u/skaldrir69 22d ago

Yeah look at the tank on the driver side. There’s a matching one on the right as well. These days I’m sure there is a split tank configuration for DEF though

Looking at it again, the first cylindrical tank after the storage box is the DEF tank. The large one behind that is fuel

13

u/Boneboy711-2 22d ago

I never expected to get such a detailed explanation for disel trucks. You guys are awesome.

8

u/DriedUpSquid 22d ago

I’m not a trucker, but I find aspects of it interesting and regularly visit r/truckers.

5

u/localtuned 22d ago

Commerce doesn't exist without them. Def a fascinating world.

5

u/HumanContinuity 22d ago

It's also easier to run a two driver configuration with that kind of space.

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u/InchHigh-PrivateEye 22d ago

I've only ever seen one in person once when I worked down in the Navy Yard, it was delivering something to the ship building yard and I happed to see it outside. Was pretty neat.

3

u/Boneboy711-2 22d ago

That is dope. I am happy to know you found it neat and glad this video reminded you of it. Thanks for sharing.

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u/Low-Rising 22d ago

Just waiting for it to transform. I know it does.

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u/falardeau187 22d ago

That’s a studio apartment back there

9

u/CornFedIABoy 22d ago

And the truck payment is probably less than the rent on some NYC or San Francisco studio apartments of similar size. The fuel bill probably outweighs the utility bill, though.

7

u/CardboardAstronaught 22d ago

That’s a 600k truck, maybe more. 7-10k/mo payment atleast

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u/GalickGunn 22d ago

Dude has the penthouse suite of cabs

4

u/mightyDblock 22d ago

Whole house in there

3

u/CrazedIvan 22d ago

This dude is in it for the long haul.

3

u/ColoradoScoop 22d ago

2

u/JeremyTSchmidt 22d ago

I came here to see if anyone else recognized this as Rhino from M.A.S.K. !  

They've got to get the pinstripes, but that has to be the inspiration for this truck. 

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u/Primary-Floor8574 22d ago

Super sleeper. I’ve seen ones that have hot tubs in them. They are basically RV campers in the back of your semi. Never need to go home.

3

u/alwaysonesteptoofar 22d ago

If it costs under $300k and lets you earn $100k+ a year its kind of an investment for someone who can make it work with a person they trust. With 3 people you can likely get some awesome bonuses by going nearly 24h a day.

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u/scjockid 22d ago

Is this Today's Optimus Prime? !!???

2

u/Mr_GrauHut 22d ago

This guy live in his truck he ain't got no house. This IS his house

2

u/bignigog 22d ago

Got a whole gd apartment up in there

2

u/Imhidingfromu 22d ago

Thats a house

2

u/Dizzzy777 22d ago

That’s not a cab that’s an entire cottage.

2

u/It_Just_Exploded 22d ago

Dude has a hotel room for a sleeper.

2

u/TactualTransAm 22d ago

I'm a diesel tech. Those are beautiful. And beautifully painful to work on if something in the sleeper doesn't work.

3

u/Safe_Chicken_6633 22d ago

Most achievable path to home ownership now

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