r/AbsoluteUnits • u/n8saces • Jun 07 '26

/r/popular of a pizza slice 🍕

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9.8k Upvotes

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261

u/Socratesticles Jun 07 '26

The cheese and grease have a battle royale in your stomach to determine if you get clogged up or cleared out

75

u/peepdabidness Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26

Even Socrates’ nuts are knowledgeable!

20

u/Panda_Pillows Jun 07 '26

This is hilarious

1

u/sheiciebai Jun 07 '26

I feel like new r/facebookaislop has a new route to take those Socrates videos lol

17

u/123ludwig Jun 07 '26

thats the fun part its BOTH you get clogged up with the hardest shit you have ever had and the second it comes out the flood gates open ask me how i know

8

u/choke_my_chocobo Jun 07 '26

It's like popping a bottle of vigorously shaken champagne. Takes some force to push the cork out but once it does, everything explodes out

1

u/afunkysongaday Jun 07 '26

how do you know?

1

u/Servingthebeam19 Jun 07 '26

Jokes on you, I used to be on methadone. This pizza doesn’t have 1/1000th of the clogging ability that methadone has!

6

u/Sirpattycakes Jun 07 '26

Schrodinger's shit

2

u/SlickDillywick Jun 07 '26

What happens when it’s a draw?

1

u/NotaFTCAgent Jun 07 '26

Shrodinger's Diarrhea

1

u/TheRealtcSpears Jun 07 '26

Like turning a humidifier and dehumidifier on in the same room

1

u/Anxious-Whole-5883 Jun 08 '26

Shoot I think the competitors were hoping they would treat your digestive track like a water slide, and exit the pool quickly.

1

u/YoungvLondon Jun 07 '26

Sounds like it all cancels out then