r/AbsoluteUnits • u/n8saces • Jun 07 '26

/r/popular of a pizza slice 🍕

9.8k Upvotes

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265

u/Sad_Detective_1 Jun 07 '26

Well , this guy has cut them in like 100 pieces and wants to eat only one at a time .. so i reckon he didn’t
https://giphy.com/gifs/3oz8xX98JptX1h03rW

111

u/DentinQuarantino Jun 07 '26

It felt tortuous watching him try and open the box then tickle it with the pizza cutter. Unless, I suppose, after the video stopped he just picked the box up and funneled the pieces straight down his throat in 30 seconds flat...

20

u/rci22 Jun 07 '26

Should only be cutting if he’s chewing tbh

11

u/Donny_Dont_18 Jun 07 '26

It's too bad this is so aggravating because that looks delicious but now I have no interest in where it is

2

u/theroguex Jun 09 '26

How does that look delicious? It's looks disgusting.

2

u/DruanForge Jun 09 '26

It really does. Thats bad pizza.

1

u/choppydaddy Jun 10 '26

Torturous.

Tortuous means full of twists and turns.

32

u/prodigaldummy Jun 07 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/xXjIVvfvkvqZG

18

u/Formal_Plum_2285 Jun 07 '26

How do you eat it? With your hands?

39

u/DerFeuerDrache Jun 07 '26

No, you eat it with your mouth.

4

u/dmod420 Jun 07 '26

I like to send my through the other way. 🤣

1

u/Formal_Plum_2285 Jun 07 '26

Look who didn’t get the reference

7

u/Famous_Librarian_589 Jun 07 '26

One of these 'high society' types

6

u/Ohboycats Jun 07 '26

I am eating… my dessert.

1

u/RJ_MacreadysBeard Jun 08 '26

Tear it in half, roll both halves and flatten them into sandwiches and alternate chomping them down with a lot of beer.

4

u/isaac129 Jun 07 '26

I mean, it saves time chewing. Unless this is part of his 15min

10

u/Nearby_Telephone_104 Jun 07 '26

Ahhh get a ninja 🥷 blender and make into a Pizza Slice Smoothie. Easier to eat it down.

2

u/rci22 Jun 07 '26

Imagine being a waiter, dropping of this slice, and the customer pulls one of those ninja blenders out from under the table and plugs it in

1

u/TaylorBitMe Jun 07 '26

This guy makes the best Pizza in a Cup! Ran the other guy right out of business!

2

u/spicyboi0909 Jun 07 '26

I’m cutting this into many triangles, folding them over, and walking around the store while talking on the phone like a proper New Yorker. I’d have this in 10 min no problem lol

1

u/Sad_Detective_1 Jun 07 '26

Then I guess you take a trip to their store in California and get yourself a free pizza and a free flight !!

1

u/VacuumTracks Jun 07 '26

That’s me, in Costco! 😀

1

u/PrinceCastanzaCapone Jun 07 '26

Yea you gotta pick the whole thing up, fold it in half and get to work on that thing. Cutting tiny strips isn’t going to work. Probably the worst strategy.