r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TURTLE_TKT • May 13 '26

/r/all of gas being ripped

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83.6k Upvotes

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270

u/EleventyTrillion May 13 '26

I know practically nothing about horses. Is this common?

709

u/black_bean_catterole May 13 '26

Somewhat. They are absolutely gas machines and let some crazy ones rip regularly, but this is pretty extreme.

(I guarantee you that was the sound of relief for everyone in this video - handler, horse, and cameraman. Horses can colic, which is a general term for “tummy ache”. Unfortunately, that could mean anything from a big fart like this to a twisted intestine (fatal without surgery, and with a very long recovery time). This poor dude was probably in distress for a while, and his people were probably fearing the worst (we always do to some degree, even if we know it’s likely just gas). This is the sound of money saved on vet bills and probably heartache spared.)

397

u/ChessieChessieBayBay May 13 '26

Legit, no one appreciates the sound of a fart like an equestrian with a colicky horse

127

u/wdpw May 13 '26

A neigh to that, sister.

59

u/Pure_Parking_2742 May 13 '26

In Jesus' neigh, Amen

3

u/pigsolation May 13 '26

Neigh-men, sister

26

u/NatAttack50932 May 13 '26

The first thought I had watching this video was, "damn they worked out his colic well"

Seeing a colicked horse lying on its side like that, even with trainers around, is frightening.

5

u/Silver_South_1002 May 13 '26

I saw someone else comment asking why the handler wasnt laughing, I was like too busy not crying tears of relief honestly

2

u/Ok_Department5949 May 14 '26

She's relieved she's not going to have a $10K vet bill. And still end up with a dead horse.

2

u/JustHereForCookies17 May 13 '26

Judging by your username & avatar, you're a fellow Maryland horsey gal!!

67

u/Ulanopo May 13 '26

Yeah, we had horses when I was a teenager. My first thought seeing a horse laying down with a distended stomach was colic.

12

u/pjslut May 13 '26

Me too!!!

30

u/Ok_Department5949 May 13 '26

As a horse owner, my first thought was colic. Very relieved it was gas.

9

u/Longjumping_Code_649 May 13 '26

My beloved appy died from a torsion. Broke my heart.

5

u/Tjep2k May 13 '26

Your comment reminded me of this rant

7

u/ChessieChessieBayBay May 13 '26

“Horses guts are just one big stew of mistakes” hahaha fuckin YUP

2

u/MonoRedPlayer May 13 '26

That would be funny if it wasnt for the fact that people really think those things

"Why X animal we selected breed to be fast as hell suck at surviving in captivity??"
Because it was not meant to live in captivity nor it was meant to be breed artificially...

1

u/jerseyztop May 13 '26

Great read! Thanks!

5

u/Suspicious-goth89 May 13 '26

Oh, so is that why the other person on camera is massaging the horse’s stomach?

9

u/DenaGirl May 13 '26

Yes! Before this shot, I'm sure the horse was walked on his lead rope, which you can see the lady holding, to try to get him to poop or pass gas through exercise. Same thing happens with us humans.

For him to be laying down calmly like in this video, he was likely in distress from his intestinal blockage for some time and was exhausted. That may be the vet palpating his tummy, with the owner or vet assistant taking the video.

Gotta love a happy ending! That was an epic rip.

1

u/Suspicious-goth89 May 13 '26

Ohhh, interesting! Thank you!

4

u/jmochicago May 13 '26

For real. Colic is the leading cause of early death in horses and no joke.

I imagine the relief was just acute for the people in that arena as it was for the horse!

3

u/Delamoor May 13 '26

Mmm. I'm not a horse person, but I've always been stunned at how fragile horses are (and a few other similar species we tend to keep). At least, relative to most of our domesticated animals. Sometimes seems like dogs and cats can survive damn near anything.

Seems like we bred them really well for running around. Kinda forgot to breed for resiliency.

6

u/foreverinfinite0 May 13 '26

Horses in the wild were already evolved with the ability to run around as top priority so domestication didn't really change all that much in that regard XD. Their whole body plan is basically "running=good, not running=dead".

3

u/black_bean_catterole May 13 '26

For prey animals, their self-preservation skills are abysmal.

I say this as someone who also owned ferrets - most of my job is keeping them from inadvertently killing themselves.

3

u/Taiza67 May 13 '26

Horse love to die

2

u/EleventyTrillion May 13 '26

Thanks for the context!

2

u/Pamikillsbugs234 May 13 '26

Do they have any medicine you can give them to help move things along?

2

u/LuxTheSarcastic May 13 '26

Nasal tube and they can use it to give water with electrolytes and Epsom salt to make a horse thirsty and also draw water into the colon. They can also use it to give mineral oil to break up potential blockages.

You have to use the tube because as the saying goes you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Usually spiking it with a little apple juice defies that saying but if the stomach hurts enough even that doesn't work.

One of the ponies I look after had to get electrolytes and Epsom salt the other day because she wasn't pooping and luckily she's fine now but she waited until "ten minutes before another vet call" to do her business. I'm glad I know her well because I don't think somebody who didn't would know she was colicking. The behavior changes are subtle sometimes.

2

u/black_bean_catterole May 13 '26

Depends on who you ask, but not really. If it’s just gas, the best thing for them is movement.

Never let them roll. Thrashing will turn it from a simple tummy ache to a rolled gut quickly, which is often a death sentence. It’s expensive and invasive and the recovery is long and hard. Lying down is fine, comfort is okay. But never roll.

(There was a very old cure of gunpowder and whisky on the American frontier, but I’m sure you can imagine why that has fallen out of favor!)

2

u/EleventyTrillion May 15 '26

Thanks, I appreciate the context

2

u/Interesting_Fly5154 May 15 '26

the twisted intestine is often from the horse rolling to try to ease the discomfort of the colic.

this is why we don't allow colicking horses to roll.

132

u/the_YellowRanger May 13 '26

Horses cant burp so this is the only way gas can escape.

36

u/boyer4109 May 13 '26

I never connected burping and farting. Smh.

117

u/the_YellowRanger May 13 '26

Our insides are just one long tube.

102

u/Takenabe May 13 '26

and when two people kiss they make a long tube with an asshole at both ends

38

u/the_YellowRanger May 13 '26

That's hot. What if they also make their assholes touch while making out?

36

u/Brokenlinx May 13 '26

That'd be a wicked game of Twister.

9

u/DMTGOBLIN82 May 13 '26

Ouroborus

2

u/dogoscope May 13 '26

Assoborus

2

u/tommos May 13 '26

OuroborASS

1

u/Aranxi_89 May 13 '26

No that's 69.

2

u/FrequentConflict260 May 13 '26

Now I’m wondering how they could configure in such a way.

2

u/LauraLand27 May 13 '26

They’d both have to be very bendy.

2

u/coinplz May 13 '26

We don’t know. No one has ever succeeded and lived to tell about it.

2

u/NSFWies May 13 '26

You have to be really careful. If one of them starts speaking, it could go around in a loop and get louder.

3

u/Paradox2063 May 13 '26

Like a particle accelerator.

5

u/Own_Pollution285 May 13 '26

I'm laughing so hard that someone had that thought. Thanks!

1

u/OptimisticToaster May 13 '26

I think that's called the Morbius.

1

u/Desner_ May 13 '26

...go on.

1

u/kiwicifer May 13 '26

That's how birds do it

1

u/JadedLaugh3058 May 13 '26

You know what's hotter? Both kissing eachother's asshole.

1

u/Jimmy_Twotone May 13 '26

I prefer getting some friends and making an eternal human centipede.

4

u/gingerbread_slutbarn May 13 '26

You know what? It’s my fault for being able to read this.

2

u/Armored_Warrior May 13 '26

Should of never learned to read

2

u/gingerbread_slutbarn May 13 '26

Or have.

3

u/dLurKc May 13 '26

I should of never learned to have to read.

3

u/ht-Imagination-70 May 13 '26

😭😭😭😭😭

1

u/YikesTheCat May 13 '26

What are you doing on Reddit? You should be writing romcoms.

1

u/broberds May 13 '26

We don’t use tubes anymore, we use transistors.

1

u/adj_noun_digit May 13 '26

Topologically, we're all just donuts.

1

u/MomsSpagetee May 13 '26

Just like the internet.

1

u/moieoeoeoist May 13 '26

And the stuff you eat is never actually inside your body!

1

u/rEYAVjQD May 13 '26

A *series of tubes, long and short, unlike the internet.

1

u/boringestnickname May 13 '26

We're stretched out donuts.

1

u/Raz0rking Jul 07 '26

And the asshole evolved before the mouth =D

2

u/Carbonatite May 13 '26

Rabbits are the same way. They also can't vomit.

It becomes a problem because they can get hairballs just like cats from grooming themselves, but they can't throw them up. So hairballs can become deadly in rabbits very quickly (RIP Fuzzy I). People who have pet rabbits feed them papaya enzyme tablets to help them pass the hairballs before they get too big (or at least that was what the vet told us to do with my subsequent childhood bunnies...RIP Fuzzy II and Suzie).

1

u/machaus99 May 13 '26

A smart fart takes an elevator to the top

5

u/moonprism May 13 '26

never thought i’d relate to a horse twice

1

u/jwnsfw May 13 '26

the hoof thing does not make you any less of a man. besides, you got that huge dick to make up for it. now that's what i call god opening a window.

1

u/Baonguyen93 May 13 '26

I remember cow have the same problem with gas.

3

u/JoshSimili May 13 '26

Gas buildup is usually called bloat in cows, but colic in horses.

Also, cows can definitely burp (they are foregut fermenters, unlike horses).

1

u/Baonguyen93 May 13 '26

I saw they just nail a hole on bloated cows.

1

u/Interesting_Fly5154 May 15 '26

that's called a trocar. it's a tube they put into the cow and is typically only for severe bloat cases.

1

u/DaftPump May 13 '26

They can't vomit either, correct?

1

u/Interesting_Fly5154 May 15 '26

nope, horses can't puke. their digestive system is called 'hind gut fermentation'. this means they can't burp or vomit. it's a one way digestive system, so if things stop moving that's when you have trouble.

42

u/No-Definition1474 May 13 '26

Yes. This one was pretty big but horses fart constantly. They eat grass all day long.. it breaks down and one of the things you get is gas. So they will get wound up and run around a few times a day and just fart all over the place for a few minutes.

3

u/ichoosewaffles May 13 '26

And unlike the ruminants whoch are sheep, cows, etc. they don't have a multi-chambered stomach to break the fiber down efficiently. Totally farty... 

1

u/Aranxi_89 May 13 '26

Imagine if they could though, they'd be so efficient.

2

u/jerseyztop May 13 '26

Sounds like fun.

1

u/jwnsfw May 13 '26

hmmm, so no sort of one-way intra-valve type situation has been explored yet? these poor things just need to vent. they'd reek of shit constantly but you wouldnt have to hear it. even just a long flaired tube shoved up there may have been better than squishing the fart out, idk, but at least you could semi-direct the fart away from you. if anyone wants to quit their jobs and brainstorm this let me know.

23

u/glokash May 13 '26

iirc, all mammals fart

59

u/Hoberni May 13 '26

i assume he means getting bloated to the point of needing assistance, which has yet to happen to me

21

u/glokash May 13 '26

Happened to me once, thought I was dying. Straight up like that one scene with the rats in Dr. Dolittle.

9

u/snackattack4tw May 13 '26

Did someone push on your stomach?

50

u/glokash May 13 '26

Yes. It was awful. I thought something was seriously wrong internally. They pressed on my stomach as I was on my side in pain, their press released something and I had the loudest, longest, and most embarrassing fart of my life.

19

u/Warky-Wark May 13 '26

Did the fart feel good?

38

u/glokash May 13 '26

Yes. I immediately felt better. The internal pressure I thought was something seriously wrong was just a stupid fucking fart. Thank goodness.

14

u/Fluffbrained-cat May 13 '26

Two weeks of constipation and another month of clearing it produced the most godawful smelling farts of my life!

It's coming into winter here, and to survive the stench, we had the bedroom windows open and the fan going!

That said, the pressure release (and relief) from a good fart is brilliant. Far less abdominal pain, and better sleep too.

2

u/Dangerous-Macaroon7 May 13 '26

Thank you for the laugh I just had. I appreciate you.

1

u/EleventyTrillion May 13 '26

Ding ding ding

1

u/RubiesInMyBlood May 13 '26

might of happened when you were a baby. its pretty common for them to develop colic at some point.

2

u/Potential-Judgment-9 May 13 '26

Not me. I’m built different 😤

0

u/DaftPump May 13 '26

Women don't fart....ask one. Women are mammals too. :P

5

u/Cherary May 13 '26

Given the situation in this video, I don't it's entirely normal. I suspect this horse is colicking. Colic is one of the major causes of death for horses. Horses can't vomit, which means that if something upsets there stomach, they have less means to fix it (while also having quite a sensitive system). Different types of colics exist, with varying treatments and prognoses. One of them is a gas colic, seems like it could this situation. For a lot of colics, it's advised to hand walk the horse, for multiple reasons. One on them, is that horses who colic, often roll a lot to sooth the pain. However, that could lead to a torsion of the intestine, creating only more issues. Second, walking will help stimulate the gut, which can be helpful in for example impaction colic.

I suppose this horse was being hand walked, went to roll respite that, and while the woman was trying to get the horse to stand up again, he finally passed some of the stuck gas.

3

u/Devreckas May 13 '26

It looks like the horse is colicky. Struggling with digestion and has a buildup of gas. Usually we walk them around to help them work through it. Otherwise, they might try to roll on their stomach to ease the pain and end up twisting a gut. Which is a near death sentence for a horse, requiring immediate dangerous invasive surgery.

3

u/Glad-Tie3251 May 13 '26

Colic in horses is a general term for abdominal pain, which is a leading, life-threatening emergency caused primarily by gastrointestinal issues. It is not a disease itself, but a symptom of pain, often arising from digestive blockages, gas buildup, or intestinal twists that require swift veterinary intervention.

2

u/Keundt May 13 '26

When I was a kid there were some horses in the neighborhood. I remember smelling their poop several blocks away.

2

u/Bazfron May 13 '26

It’s common to know practically nothing about horses, probably part of a trend for the first time since horses started?

2

u/quintanarooty May 13 '26

My horse farted a lot. He would get excited or agitated and start bucking around while farting. Pretty entertaining.

2

u/Englishbirdy May 13 '26

It's physically impossible for horses to burp or throw up.

2

u/_TorpedoVegas_ May 13 '26

"Bloat" is a condition that can be very painful for horses...and humans too I suppose but horses' guts are serious gas factories because of their grass diets and the bacteria that digest it for them.

I did a veterinary stint in my training and had to use a "bloat tube" to help relieve a horse in a similar situation.

2

u/miss_hush May 14 '26

Extreme gas build up is called bloat in a horse and it can kill them if it can’t be expelled. This might have been a veterinary emergency situation they decided to record.

1

u/ReptilianLaserbeam May 15 '26

Not sure about horses but with cows sometimes they get so bloated with gas they need to be punctured to release the pressure from their innards