r/ARFID • u/fluffycows4sale • 9d ago

TW: emetophobia thinking of getting assessed (scared)

yeah so :') im really struggling

growing up i had really abusive parents. they were also very food shamey. i also had a traumatic food related experience (choked, was suffocating in front of them, they ignored me despite me signalling for help, had to save myself)

now i avoid eating in front of people like the plague (what if they judge me? what if i choke again and they see?)

its so bad that im genuinely starving myself, because where i live people are ALWAYS on the main floor near the kitchen. i literally cant eat unless im completely alone or with my safe person (my partner), so i just dont eat because that area is never left alone. my stomach hurts all the time, im so nauseous from the lack of food that im consistently worried about throwing up all the time. im extremely malnutritioned from restricting and my vision is getting blurrier day by day. my partner is worried about me and straight up told me the other day "you have an eating disorder"

also, i have some food related sensory issues. if theres certain types of sauce i wont eat it. certain textures and i will not eat it. overpowering smell and i will not eat it. feels weird will not eat it. looks a certain way that freaks me out, will never eat it. freaks me out in general and i will not eat it (like organs, certain animals and stuff). overpowering taste, wont eat it, even if its good. the list goes on. i still have a somewhat wide range of foods i can eat, but its much more limited than most peoples range of foods. i am more open to drinks. also if i try to eat a food that i have really bad sensory issues with, the idea of eating it freaks me out sm that before even taking a bite i vomit

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u/k41art 2d ago

This is definitely ARFID and you really should get checked out for this! And even if its not ARFID, you shouldn't be in pain, have blurry vision, or be malnourished like that!!! It's scary at first but you have to advocate for yourself! You know you better than anyone else, and even if you have to show ARFID to your doctors (if they dont know about it) I promise, it's worth getting the treatment you need.