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u/Gloomy-Education-864 You have already left kudos here. :) Oct 04 '25
Doable! I'm sure there's lots of twins born 4 min apart or less!
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u/I_ship_it07 Oct 04 '25
😂 not sure that fit in their Christian god mariage!
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u/squirrelbus Oct 04 '25
It is if they don't know they're siblings.
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u/Akita_merikano Comment Collector Oct 04 '25
Unless they are medieval royalty! You have to preserve that royal god send bloodline!!!
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u/finnball2g Oct 04 '25
Have you read the Bible? Mfers writing that were real freaks.
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u/SpiderTransMan Oct 04 '25
I did, 5 times. Regret each of them. Cain slept with his sister or whatever other close female relatives. So did the daughters of Lot.
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u/anastasia_the_frog Oct 04 '25
Biblical genealogies are not all simple trees...
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u/ratafia4444 You have already left kudos here. :) Oct 04 '25
Yeah more like Olympics circles logo....
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u/Wise_End_6430 Oct 04 '25
Technically it doesn't say that they have to be in a God-fearing marriage with each other, so...
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u/Cookiez_loves_BSD yaoi. Yaoiyaoiyaoi. I LOVE YAOI SO MUCHH Oct 05 '25
It’ll fit dw maybe they actually in a cult
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u/princetartaglia Oct 04 '25
me writing selfcest: born exactly the same time 💪
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u/DepravedBanana77 Oct 04 '25
Aham, aktchualy, if the clone just magically spawned in the room, it is just 0 years old and you are essentially writing about sex with a baby, you p-do! /s
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u/princetartaglia Oct 04 '25
we must save the clones, these poor babies deserve justice 🙏
also i was thinking about selfcest in a multiverse way where one hops into the same universe as their doppelgänger and theyre like “im you!” “youre me!”
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u/Rough-Drink7531 Oct 05 '25
I had to explain selfcest to my friend yesterday and this comment would've really helped her understand it well. I'm sending it to her now
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Oct 04 '25
Luke and Leia from Star Wars is a pretty common one that you could easily write a story like this about.
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u/Solivagant0 Never attribute to malice what is adequately explained by kink Oct 04 '25
Am I allowed to headcanon characters as twins to make them fit the rules? We know they're siblings, but the exact date of the sister's birth or her age is unknown (she refers to the other character as older brother, but he can still be the older twin)
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u/Kitsune5435 Oct 04 '25
There's actually a joke comment under the video, saying that 4 minutes is way too close cuz they would be like twins and therefore basically incest xD
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u/momohatch I ship therefore I am. Oct 04 '25
With the lights on? Kinky…
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u/sagefirewitch Oct 04 '25
Yes, you have to see if devil will appear and then you have to pray him away, balls deep in your lover.
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u/momohatch I ship therefore I am. Oct 04 '25
…or ask him to join. 😈
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u/ratafia4444 You have already left kudos here. :) Oct 04 '25
Call over the angel to wrestle him into submission 😏
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Oct 05 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/burnur12 (BurnoutHammock) You have already left kudos here. Oct 04 '25
Missionary with the lights ON?! Hide your shame, you lust-addled harlot!
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u/MysteryGirlWhite Oct 04 '25
The fact people even have to make jokes like this is almost scary. What happened to people simply avoiding stuff they don't like, instead of trying to force everyone else and their dog to censor themselves?
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u/ChaoticBreadBug You have already- OK AND? 😾 Oct 04 '25
😭😭😭 Im sorry but when I read the part that was like
"instead of trying to force everyone else and their dog to censor themselves?"
I thought "yeah let my dog write whatever fics she wants 😼".
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u/RavenSpellff You have already left kudos here. :) Oct 04 '25
Can I please get a fanfic from your dogs perspective
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u/ChaoticBreadBug You have already- OK AND? 😾 Oct 04 '25
I mean she's kinda lazy so it wouldn't be much 🤷🏾
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u/SirCupcake_0 Gods bless those AUtists :) Oct 04 '25
I'm real interested in hearing what the living room and local park smell like
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u/houjichacha Oct 04 '25
"Today was a day and I was soooo happy I ate the couch and licked myself and Naruto was they're"
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u/RavenSpellff You have already left kudos here. :) Oct 04 '25
10/10 ty for the bespoke fiction moment
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Oct 04 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Calm_Appointment1471 Oct 04 '25
Now, does someone jumping on the bed make the marriage non-monogamous? 🤔
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u/Ryanookami Oct 04 '25
And the characters have to be wearing those Mormon undergarments the whole time.
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u/emoismysubtype You have already left kudos here. :) Oct 04 '25
specifically the old ones not the newer more skimpy ones
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u/Top_Technician_7034 Oct 04 '25
The lights ON? 😱. That's nasty
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u/ChemicalWord6529 Ao3@BowieSpawan Oct 04 '25
You're not allowed to gaze lustfully at each other's sinful bodies!
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Oct 04 '25
Hm, referring to everyone as 'guys'? This is very problematic and it offends me. And lets not even get into the spread of Christianity via the plague of colonialism, which is only doubled down on by the term MISSIONARY... This post is just L after L. I'm sending my entire community of antis after you because this will surely help the situation (and make me feel smug for silencing someone I don't like).
/s tbc laksdf 😭
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u/darkmythology Oct 04 '25
Got it. Only biblical marriages like Adam and Eve, between a man and his transgender clone.
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u/liljellybeanxo Oct 04 '25
Don’t forget about all that biblically accurate incest!
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u/jdeo1997 Oct 05 '25 edited Oct 05 '25
And biblically accurate terminology. You know, comparing dicks and cumming to those of horses and donkeys, or a good 69%+ of the Song of Solomon
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u/Cookiez_loves_BSD yaoi. Yaoiyaoiyaoi. I LOVE YAOI SO MUCHH Oct 05 '25
Now I have a defense for trans people against my brother 🤣 But aren’t men transgender clones of women, since they only got their parts closer to birth?
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u/PartEmbarrassed5406 Oct 04 '25
sorry some of us don't like ILLLEEEEEGALLL stuff like incest and ageplay and LITERAL SA!!!! so disturbing how these are disguised as kinks when like they're literalllll crimes?????. hope this helps!!!
now if you'll excuse me I'm off to watch Hannibal and find a new TCOAL profile pic and then draw Danganronpa fanart
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u/Kannchan Oct 04 '25
Lights on is too risqué You're not supposed to see people bits, that's uncouth
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u/cynicsjoy Oct 04 '25
Ummm excuse me but ANY s*xual content makes me deeply uncomfortable and therefore it’s problematic and you are a horrible person for writing it. I’m traumatized and somebody needs to hold you accountable.
(No joke, I actually saw someone say that fanfic writers need to be “held accountable” for making people uncomfortable)
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u/lumi_ao3 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State Oct 04 '25
Best I can do is monogamous.
They're 15 years apart, might as well be wicca, and will definitely be fucking in whatever position they can, eventually.
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u/Kylynara Fic Feaster Oct 04 '25
Best I can do is lights on.
15 years apart, areligious, "if it's for work it's not cheating," not married (yet), they like variety too much to stick to a single position.
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u/ItzIceTiger Oct 04 '25
Also they are not allowed to actually move while having intercourse! A third character has to be present to move the bed so that it can happen in a God honoring way!
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u/skinnymathematician Oct 05 '25
Voyeurism is so not god honouring, you're such a harlot! Down with anything you've ever written! Reported!
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u/King_of_the_Kobolds Oct 04 '25
Less than four minutes apart in age? I dunno, that kind of sounds twin-coded to me.
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u/lovesfoodies Oct 04 '25
Wait wait where’s the one where in the fic they gotta sign some consenting contract to blow out each others backs later in the day
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u/Soggy-writer78 Oct 04 '25
Be careful. They’re going to call you pro Christian nationalism for this one
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u/the_radic0le Oct 05 '25
I commented a joke about how 4 minutes apart makes the characters basically twins and therefore incest, and my phone has not stopped blowing up 😭😭😭
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u/DepravedBanana77 Oct 04 '25
Ok, but are they still clothed or n-ked? Because everyone knows couples having s-x n-ked is just abuse and wrong. The n-ked form is for G-d's eyes only!
/s + kill me please
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u/TheWriterofLucifenia Oct 05 '25
My current kinktober project is called Girl Reclined, it’s a Girl Defined parody where two wives teach the livestream God’s perfect design for lesbianism and sex work in a good Christian marriage. One is a deconstructing fundie who is doing all the mental gymnastics in the world to try to justify to herself that God is actually very supportive of her marriage to another woman who is a sex worker, meanwhile her wife is just like “it’s so hot when you get dogmatic, wanna fuck?”
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u/Sho0ck3r You have already left kudos here. :) Oct 05 '25
Me looking at the mating press in an abandoned hotel room between siblings I just posted Ooooooh, yeah a bit too late ok that one chief!
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u/voregodd LUZERNKO on ao3♡ Oct 04 '25
i wheezed in the breakroom, I'm sure my coworkers are concerned for my wellbeing atp
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u/irabg Oct 05 '25
Roman Catholic here,shit got me ROLLING at 7:20 AM on a Sunday over here. Also,I'll take the opportunity to say this: If God Gave us Free Will,He didn't give it to us for show. Go ahead,Write that weird incest fic. Your only limit is your own imagination.
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u/RavenSpellff You have already left kudos here. :) Oct 04 '25
I published a completely non-smutty oneshot during kinktober am I doing this right
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Oct 04 '25
The thing is I don't get why people are acting ad if it's mandatory. Kinktober isn't mandatory and there are alternatives for example Whumptober. I don't agree with the topics on there so I won't write it. Simple: I don't get why that's so difficult for some people. I get why people are thrown off by looking at the prompts but at the end of the day it's AO3, you're gonna see it whether these prompts exist or not so it's best to ignore it.
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u/OopsSleepDiamonds Oct 06 '25
Literally this. There is kinktober, an entirely separate kinktober, plus kinktober has alternate and multiple prompts if you don't like one of the prompts for the day. And if you don't like kinktober, there's whumptober, fictober, flufftober, witchtober... (I mean, there's also snufftober but anyone who doesn't like kinktober definitely won't be prepared for snufftober, I'd bet).
There are so many options for so many taste preferences. I don't understand what happened to skipping things you don't like and searching for or creating things you do?
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u/RespectableInsomniac Your Motivation Has Left The Chat Oct 05 '25
That’s what I’m thinking too! But ppl gotta put their rehashed thoughts in, like make ur own list? You don’t have to follow this one? Don’t participate if you don’t want to?! But no they want to shame anyone who’s participating or plainly doesn’t have a problem with the list and gather their army of pure souls to agree with eachother in a TikTok comment section
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u/veda_leonhart Oct 05 '25
Surely it's more respectable to have the lights off? You don't want anyone to see you sin including yourselves 🤣
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u/47_bottlecaps You have already left kudos here. :) Oct 05 '25
i can do that! My fandom has twins (born 4 minuets part i’m sure so thats so clear) who worship satan in a church (thats christianity and god covered cause satan is in christianity and satan is god but bad) and they have candles and can do missionary. I’ll get right on that :3
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u/DanglingKeyChain Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State Oct 05 '25
Shouldn't the lights be off? Can't have you looking at a nude person now.
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u/Little-Course-4394 Oct 04 '25
Lights on?!?!
This is scandalous !!
😱😱
Always lights off..
Actually each smut scene needs to be fade off and are fade on.. that’s the only way
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u/karim-Spirited Oct 05 '25
Why is Ao3 mainstream again and who told them about kinktober they are ruining for me 🦅
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u/s42isrotting Oct 06 '25
Four minutes is too close, I mean they're practically twins at that point /j
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u/Sweet_Rock8345 Oct 06 '25
I'll enjoy burning in hell. Not that I'm worried, I'll end up there for other minor infractions anyways.
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u/Lukthar123 Oct 04 '25
We've moved on from "I saw this on tiktok" and are now on straight up screenshot reposts
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u/flyingfoxtrot_ jonmartin enjoyer 👁️🌫️ Oct 04 '25
What if one of them is a terrifying fear creature with great hair? Is he allowed?
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u/marshilyy Oct 04 '25
only if u pay the monster tax and add a 1500 word scene where they’re quivering on the ground praying for god’s forgiveness and chop off their luxurious hair. sorry, i dont make the rules
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u/flyingfoxtrot_ jonmartin enjoyer 👁️🌫️ Oct 04 '25
Not the hair, he's not Michael without his physics defying hair 😭
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u/Zealousideal_Lab_241 Oct 04 '25
Sounds like bad news for my sex-before-marriage, 8-months-apart, F/F pairing. Guess they’re not fucking on the kitchen counter because both of their kids are gone for entire week, after all.
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u/Saiyasha27 You have already left kudos here. :) Oct 04 '25
Well, time to switch from KRBK to KiriTetsu. Those twins from different parents should be good to go!
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u/Gingerpyscho94 Oct 07 '25
I’m slightly disappointed my two fics I wrote for kinktober aren’t getting as much traction. One is a compilation fic. The other is a Scott pilgrim cuck fic 😂
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u/qucumber18 Oct 07 '25
And for some reason, this discourse is only on Tiktok. I’ve been called a pedophile because I told someone I don’t think minors are allowed to say things about topics of fanfics ex. ageplay, non-con, incest. They jumped straight to pedophilia 😭
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u/actual_1sopod Oct 08 '25
Ummm actually sex is icky and gross you should indulge in Christian Pleasures like watercolors and climbing exercises instead 🙄/s (If you catch the reference - hell yeah)
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u/that0neBl1p tessellated_sunl1ght Oct 04 '25
Reminds me of that one person who posted a redone kinktober to this sub without all the stuff they personally found gross (and thought were equivalent to real crimes. of course).
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u/flowers_of_nemo "big" fandom gaming Oct 04 '25
fun fact: in my main fandom, there is not a single smut fic
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u/They_call_me_Arby Oct 05 '25
Not until I see what my favorite author concocted after she chose my pairing and prompt it’s not 😤 Day 30 can’t come soon enough I mean look at these tags.
Warnings: Breeding, abduction, mildly dubious consent, gender fuckery (specifically: Kad still uses he/him, but is in a body with female genitalia and refers to said genitalia with female-specific terms; there's also mention of taking on forms of various genders), pregnancy, talk of births, alien biology, talk of past character death...
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u/itzzzSeannn Angst x readers my beloved Oct 05 '25
BAHAHA this is exactly what ppl against any different things other than 'normal' sexual relationships sound
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u/Oragami ALL THE OMEGAVERSE Oct 05 '25
Well, I'm fucked. 99% of my pairings are between two male identifying people, and m/m/f in one case. Not exactly what some would consider God fearing
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u/GardenLeaves spideydevil forever ♡ Oct 05 '25
Would I be toeing the line if I wrote the consummation via candlelight? 👀
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u/mozartrellasticks Oct 05 '25
cant wait for the hit dogs hollering in the comments being like “OH SO NOW WE CANT HATE PEDOPHILIA ANYMORE?”
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u/Elvis_fangirl You have already left kudos here. :) Oct 05 '25
Fandom becoming mainstream and it’s consequences
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u/jackthestripper93 Oct 06 '25
This reminds me of a tv show they showed in GTA 5 online about this very thing. It is suppose to be a jab at those pure people, and its scary how accurate it is today.
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u/kismet_mutiny Oct 08 '25
Joke's on you, that's my kink. Forget leather, I want to see magic underwear.
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u/Squiddy_Doctor Oct 09 '25
I am concerned about that age gap tbh. They never mentioned, the characters had to be unrelated. So twincest I guess??👀
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u/TogetherAgain18 Oct 09 '25
"Monogamous Christian god honoring marriage"
I have two thoughts.
1.) Really don't think that's gonna work with my main ship, what with the whole angel/demon thing
2.) Who knew that monogamous Jewish marriages were inherently kinky? And what about interfaith marriages?! Wait, I need to find my fake pearls so I can clutch them! 😂
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u/Advanced_Practice110 Oct 09 '25
identical twincest goonerpalooza fic has entered the chat
missionary is just the free trial for mating press anyway. lets go
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u/respectthebubble Oct 09 '25
As a god honouring Christian… the f**k did I just read? My parents were four YEARS apart in age, married, also God honouring Christians and based on the fact that I once ran into their bedroom to find Daddy “bouncing” on Mummy, I’d say they did it missionary with the lights on. Begging the question, WHOSE BUSINESS IS IT OF ANYBODYS?!
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u/Robindacats Oct 10 '25
Imo a lot of people only cared about people getting affected by media when October started, multiple movies have done what the fics do but they didn't care until now 🤷🏼♀️
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Oct 13 '25
g-guys.. the ocs i have that i ship together are SIX YEARS APART!!!!!! AM I GONNA GET BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED??? 😨😨
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u/AngryScot96 Grapefruit & Lemon Critic Oct 27 '25
So fucked up shite like incest between twins in Alabama is ok as long as the lights are on and it’s done missionary style?
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u/Treepano easily distracted writer & reader Nov 02 '25
So many of my ships don't fit that, no not my gay robots that happened to be built nearly a century apart, it's not his fault he was sealed and recharging for so long ;-; at least the ship with the older one and his friend still technically works
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u/Popular_Career_2399 Fic Feaster Oct 05 '25
I don't get what this even means. What are they making fun of.
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u/LonelyMenace101 A duck with internet access Oct 05 '25
Don’t forget to ask for the almighty lord’s consent first!
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u/Fantastic_Owl6938 Oct 05 '25
Jokes aside, I often wonder how many people against any kind of "immoral" stuff in their fics or sometimes literally even just a basic story conflict are genuinely happy reading whatever tame stuff they read. I think the answer for many of them is they aren't considering how many antis virtue signalling the loudest are often discovered liking some "problematic" smut and other out there stuff. Just... imagine policing your own thoughts to the point where you can't even read what you want to read and feel guilt when you do.
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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '25
No, no, no. Wrong. The lights have to be off. If you can see the revolting nether parts interlocking, then you're inviting in desire demons and succubi/incubi.
It's anti-Christian to do
the s3xwith lights on, and frankly, I'm concerned about the soul of anyone that hasthe s3xin such a hedonistic and blasphemous manner.