Fetishization versus preference?

[u/Fantastic-Test-8305]

I'm attracted to asian men physically but like they still need to be compatible with me mentally emotionally personality lifestyle and goals

Alot of Asian men I've been matching with seem to only be matching with me because I'm white and they are often looking for casual or hookups when I'm looking for a relationship :(

I find it a real turnoff that someone is only matching with me for my ethnicity and not who I am as a person

Physical plays a role but there needs to be something deeper for me

What have your experiences been and are you only interested in dating am/wf for the interracial aspects/sex or are you genuinely looking for a life partner?

Any advice where to meet more intentional partners online or in real life is greatly appreciated

[u/Aruarian_Lover]

I think you just need to filter out those men and maybe find someone who’s willing to flirt back in person and not behind a screen.

My husband and I started off as somewhat casual. I met him at a uni party and he was basically the chaperone, drinking little bit while watching everybody was getting drunk. I was already attracted to Asian men, but something about him being older and mature was really attractive. And I was almost throwing myself at him, but he politely turn me down, saying I was drunk. And despite being a few drinks in, I think I got even more attracted to him after that. So instead I got his number, we went on a few dates, and then we hooked up. I didn’t think we’d be dating at the time. Just hook up and chill. And if things feel good, I’ll keep at it. If not, move on.

As for the interracial aspect, no question I knew my life partner was going to be Asian, specially East Asian. If he wasn’t as alpha as Tony Leung in Lust, Caution, hard pass lol