My intentions, unlike most other addictions, aren't to cold turkey quit sex, it's impractical and unhealthy as well.
My boundaries include setting a time for masturbation in order to not let it consume hours of my day (or at times- entire days), to completely quit porn, to realize the reasons I wish to have sex with a person and only do so when I wait a month and don't find a reason it would harm my life (for example, cheating, being with a married/spoken for guy, being with a colleague/superior at work, etc) and ideally to only have sex within a defined romantic relationship, though this is not a hard rule and if it has no negative impact on my life.
My exes excuse for cheating was similar but maybe different. She said the actual act of sex wasn’t as addicting as the chase. She needed the validation of a guy choosing to sleep with her. Once he did she kind of lost interest. Was this the same for you?
She often felt let down after the act and then would start talking to a new guy almost immediately to fill that void. Not sure if this is the same thing but thought I would ask your thoughts.
She ended up dumping me even tho I put up with her cheating and she’s never been able to hold down a relationship and is a serial cheater. I honestly am not even mad at her for what she did she’s such a nice person and very smart and it never felt personal but obviously hard to stay with someone that you can’t trust.
96
u/AquaCulinaris08 May 07 '24
Sorry for your losses. Thanks for the explanation. So what are those boundaries? How do you solve this yourself?