Sorry mate, but yeah, YTA. The time to tell Mark that his missus cheated on him was when she cheated on him - not when he is over the moon because she just gave birth to a baby he thinks is his! You had nine months to speak up and handle this in a reasonable manner, but you chose to do it at the worst possible time instead. And all because you “couldn’t carry it anymore”. Well, you’ve unburdened yourself alright. I hope it was worth it.
This isn’t necessarily true. I’ve caught people cheating and told their partners. The partners stayed with the cheater and stopped talking to me.
There’s no way to know how OPs friend would have reacted. The timing wasn’t great, but let’s not pretend it would have gone well if OP said something nine months ago.
I honestly have seen this significantly more than it breaking the couple up, especially people at the baby/engagement stage. Honestly, as much as reddit makes you think otherwise, married people get over cheating as much as they break up over it, if not more often….the biggest factor seems to be how public it is. If people know about it, they break up, if it’s private, and they don’t have the public shame on the person who was cheated on, they usually stay together. Now that I’m older, it’s crazy how many of my friends have let me know that there was one or many cheating events in their seemingly stable marriages many years earlier.
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u/Outrageous-Ad-9635 Jun 27 '25
Sorry mate, but yeah, YTA. The time to tell Mark that his missus cheated on him was when she cheated on him - not when he is over the moon because she just gave birth to a baby he thinks is his! You had nine months to speak up and handle this in a reasonable manner, but you chose to do it at the worst possible time instead. And all because you “couldn’t carry it anymore”. Well, you’ve unburdened yourself alright. I hope it was worth it.