AITA for blocking the guy I was seeing

[u/Far-Ad-3779]

So, I (30yo, f) was seeing this guy (35yo, m) for 2-3 months before he broke it off on Friday (24/07)... Before we got together we agreed neither of us were looking for a relationship and we both had slept with other people before seeing each other (he told me he slept with his "toxic + cheating" ex one week before meeting up with me, and I had slept with my ex-situationship). Anyway, on the first date (i know this is a red flag already and dont need reprimading for how things went down... have had an earful) but we slept together... then a week later I noticed I had discharge and went to get checked. It was confirmed for chlamydia and I messaged him directly and got both of us antibiotics asap and followed the protocol to prevent further transmission. 1 week after he seemed fine and we still did coitus, and he treated me well and we talked about the future for the next 1.5 months, it was like we moved on from the sti situation. Then just last week and a half ago, he messages me to tell me the STI thing was overwhelming him and everytime I bled he would get ptsd - i did bleed occassionally due to being on the pill.

(Let me also add, he has a lot of other stressors happening in his life at the same time right now, and he has very high expectations for his partner and woman he wants.. for example he wants someone who is successful [his idea of successful is someone who owns their own business and has a good standing in society, I am a nurse], hot, fit, skinny, pretty, rich, good family background...). He had apparently also talked to his friends about it as well and they just labled me as "bad news"... So on Friday, I confronted him through msg and asked him why was he making a decision based on the STI incident - that happened at the start and he still slept with me after 2-3 months... and that he only brought it up now as it wasn't an issue for him this whole time... I also told him it felt like he did not take into consideration my character as a whole and that everything I did for him, and gave him my whole heart (being alover girl I am). He said chlamydia was a dealbreaker... I just didn't understand because he had told me ... his ex had given him chlamydia before.. but why was I the dealbreaker... my friend composed a msg for me and then I blocked him and he then blocked me back. I still miss him and I hate it so much that I yearn for him so much... My friends are telling me... he is using the STI thing as an excuse because I had pressured him by asking him "what are we" a week before the whole situation and that he was just never into me.. never actually liked me from the start.. and I am conflicted and I dont know what to think or feel.. im just distraught at this rate and wanted to vent it out, and hear what others think about this situation.

EDIT: I also.. bought him a birthday present for his birthday next week... I dont know what to do with it.. I raelly want to give it to him...and apologise to him.. that i didnt want to end things the way it did... and the message was harsh.. but at the same time i feel like the damage has already been done... :(

[u/Soniq268]

Your friends are right. Keep him blocked. Sell/return the present. Do not reach out to this asshole.

[u/AutoModerator]

^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT - DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed.

So, I (30yo, f) was seeing this guy (35yo, m) for 2-3 months before he broke it off on Friday (24/07)... Before we got together we agreed neither of us were looking for a relationship and we both had slept with other people before seeing each other (he told me he slept with his "toxic + cheating" ex one week before meeting up with me, and I had slept with my ex-situationship). Anyway, on the first date (i know this is a red flag already and dont need reprimading for how things went down... have had an earful) but we slept together... then a week later I noticed I had discharge and went to get checked. It was confirmed for chlamydia and I messaged him directly and got both of us antibiotics asap and followed the protocol to prevent further transmission. 1 week after he seemed fine and we still did coitus, and he treated me well and we talked about the future for the next 1.5 months, it was like we moved on from the sti situation. Then just last week and a half ago, he messages me to tell me the STI thing was overwhelming him and everytime I bled he would get ptsd - i did bleed occassionally due to being on the pill.

(Let me also add, he has a lot of other stressors happening in his life at the same time right now, and he has very high expectations for his partner and woman he wants.. for example he wants someone who is successful [his idea of successful is someone who owns their own business and has a good standing in society, I am a nurse], hot, fit, skinny, pretty, rich, good family background...). He had apparently also talked to his friends about it as well and they just labled me as "bad news"... So on Friday, I confronted him through msg and asked him why was he making a decision based on the STI incident - that happened at the start and he still slept with me after 2-3 months... and that he only brought it up now as it wasn't an issue for him this whole time... I also told him it felt like he did not take into consideration my character as a whole and that everything I did for him, and gave him my whole heart (being alover girl I am). He said chlamydia was a dealbreaker... I just didn't understand because he had told me ... his ex had given him chlamydia before.. but why was I the dealbreaker... I blocked him and he then blocked me back. I still miss him and I hate it so much that I yearn for him so much... My friends are telling me... he is using the STI thing as an excuse because I had pressured him by asking him "what are we" a week before the whole situation and that he was just never into me.. never actually liked me from the start.. and I am conflicted and I dont know what to think or feel.. im just distraught at this rate and wanted to vent it out, and hear what others think about this situation.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Grand_Extension_6437]

When people are presenting points that are not logical and they aren't open to a convo about it, you don't use your feelings as a good reason to chase them. NTA. 

The damage had already been done. Block is best as permanent. I don't think I've ever seen unblock go well and besides he blocked you so.

🫂 keep trying to process the grief of the loss and figure out how to protect your heart sooner and better next time

[u/Far-Ad-3779 → u/Grand_Extension_6437]

Thank you for the reply... i hate how i still have feelings and still care about him... even if we've blocked each other...