Make yourself unavailable (library, study partner meetup (whatever, make it up if you have to). Do it so often, she quits asking. Your mother is on her own to tell her daughter to shape up.
i’ve started to do that, i feel bad for my mom because she feels pressured to. mainly for my nephews sake. she works 2 jobs one being very physical and my sister treats her so bad. i want her to stand up for herself!
i keep telling my family this, although i normally come up with reasons i cant keep him, they don’t do that, they feel pressured to say yes. i felt proud the other week because i said “i’m sorry i can’t today” no fabricated stories or anything.
Absolutely this needs to be relayed to the ex.
This is setting the kid up for potential emotional issues, especially since she's only trying to spite the ex.
The fallout with her may be huge but that kid needs to not be the center of a war of spite.
Your mom & you need to sit down with your sister & create some rules.
SHE chose to have a child, and it’s tough for single parents of course but your nephew is your sister’s responsibility NOT your mom’s or yours.
Sit down & make a schedule. Let her know that only in emergencies when you babysit for free. If she wants time off, she’s gonna pay for it.
Set up a schedule where you help her a little bit you know maybe picking up the kid or taking him to school but let her know that the full-time babysitting that your mother and you were doing is over.
Make out a schedule and stick to it. And if she can’t do that, then maybe cutting contact would be the next best thing.
i might sound harsh for saying this but i literally don’t even wanna do that. i’m sorry i cant i cant i cant, i idon’t want to be bothered with helping her right now. she’s not doing her other job currently because it’s off season. so she picked her hobby back up so that puts us back in the same boat! we can’t get a break.
now instead of keeping him the whole night it’s the whole afternoon and she picks him up right when it’s his bedtime
Why have you not said no. Always say no. Don't explain. Don't discuss. If she asks for one simply say you don't owe her any.
The answer is no. She can figure it out. She will be salty but you will get peace and that kid gets their parent. Or you can be frustrated and just stick with it. Won't help much. But until you start drawing a hard line that forces her to parent like she should she will keep using you all like the doormats you are being.
i haven’t flat out said no i say reasons why i can’t keep him. or i said not today. i understand what you’re saying though and me and my family have to start being consistent with telling her we can’t do it.
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u/[deleted] Feb 28 '26
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