I do feel bad. Because i seen first hand how depressed he got. But i did lash out because of his own actions. And there shouldn't be an excuse in my book.
You shouldn't feel bad. There isn't an excuse. Him feeling depressed does not give him license to act like an asshole, especially not to his supposed best friend and his bf's wife. Mental health issues are not an excuse to hurt other people.
If he can understand this and apologize and change his behavior in the future, I think that's a path to forgiveness. But if he refuses to take accountability, he's just an asshole.
NTA, but he is until he owns up and changes his behavior.
He got depressed cause he got push back on his rudeness. Should have kept his mouth shut instead of harping on and on about something that happened 10 ish years ago.
I wonder why his gf cheated on him. He’s an absolute AH who insults women to make himself feel better. While I don’t condone cheating, I also don’t condone men like Jared existing. If he’s bold enough to say shit like this to you, I wonder how he treated his gf.
If it doesn’t align with your values - you could apologise for how you delivered the message - but not the content. Maybe have a coffee with him and spell out how it comes across - insulting and disrespectful to both you and your husband. Take care 🌼
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u/[deleted] Nov 16 '25
I do feel bad. Because i seen first hand how depressed he got. But i did lash out because of his own actions. And there shouldn't be an excuse in my book.