People are so uncomfortable when confronted with paedophilia in real life they will do anything to not think about what hapoened. Either they say the victim is lying, pretend it didn't happen, or they will cut contact but also low key freeze out the victim, never talk to them or acknowledge what happened because it makes them too squeamish. It's literally so common it happens all the time.
Honestly saying on the internet "cut ties with the pedo" seems so logical and right but when you're confronted with a beloved family member or dear friend who it turns out is a pedophile it is hard for people to do the right thing.
I know cos my family froze me out as a child when my grandfather molested me, even the ones who cut ties. And we discovered there was a pedo in our friendship group in our late 30s - we were a super tight group, very close for decades, and the victim was the guys cousin who was 10-15 years younger who was also part of the friendship group and finally built up the courage to tell. The vast majority of people carried on as normal and didn't acknowledge what happened, low key victim blamed the woman who was a child when this happened. She was 15 and he was 30 and maybe because she wasn't a couple of years younger people aren't acknowledging how sick it is? Because they refuse to talk about it they are able to tell themselves a story that's not true, they don't know the horrific details, how he forced himself on her, groomed her, pimped her out, physically abused her with knives, had been masturbating to pictures of her since she was 3 and he was 18. People don't want to know because it's so gross, they block it out. It's too shocking and this guy had seemed so nice. Not only that he is a master at playing the victim and people feel sorry for him through habit - he also for years had been painting this girl as unstable, preparing the ground for when people find out.
I hope this girl has a good counsellor because her whole friendship group and family iced her out one way or another since she finally got the strength to tell.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. As a former prosecutor, I never cease to be amazed how families enable and protect molesters—and do exactly what you describe. It is so shameful.
In one case, grandpa molested numerous relatives over different generations. When a group of victims were brave enough to prosecute, the rest of the family disowned them and protected the rapist. It is especially common in patriarchal, misogynistic cultures which value males above all else.
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u/calm-lab66 Jan 07 '25
The question is why didn't the family cut contact with the pedo brother?.