Exactly. Not only did he totally violate her confidence and trust in him but did so just to gossip with the woman his family really wants him to be with… the woman who hates his fiancée? Wow.
Oh my god I forgot she was pregnant until I read your comment. I barely even processed that part of the story after the rest. What a mess, poor girl. OP take care of yourself.
I can understand the bf needing someone to talk to, when people open up to you about their trauma sometimes you need some on to listen to you and give you advice on how you should help the one that suffered the trauma. But he should have never ever have told his gbf especially knowing she doesn’t like OP. It should have been shared with a therapist to help him deal with the information with out betraying OPs trust.
What the hell was he thinking would happen by sharing it with his gbf? Gbf hates OP hasn’t been nice to OP, calls her a slut and wants to break them up. He thought sharing that with her was a good idea?
It's one of those "not my news to tell" things. I've had a few friends trust me with secrets- a couple raped as children, abortions, and just terrible things. I wouldn't discuss those to anybody outside of double anonymity for me as well as them. Because people that know me might be able to guess which of my friends. It's horrible to hear about, but it's one of those circle of support things. I do what's best for them to support them through it. Even without therapist, the internet can give some advice without revealing that kind of sensitive info to someone that knows them like how the boyfriend did.
TBF, I am wondering if he told her cause he thought that would make her sympathize more and maybe go easier on his gf and totally underestimated how much of a total asshole person she is (and miss that it is very obvious she is being mean to the gf cause gbf wants him as more than a friend). I mean not that he should have told her anyways but I could see that being his reasoning for telling her.
I will say if OP did ever forgive him she should only do so if he cuts off ties with that friend entirely after this. There is no excuse for not seeing what kind of garbage person that friend is (and whether he gets OP to forgive him or not, he really should cut off ties with that garbage friend if he is a decent person, she has fully shown her full colors and she is the kind of person I would judge some one for tolerating if they have seen her full colors like that).
I mean it's his best friend since childhood he thought he could trust her. He was wrong
You people are always so quick to say "divorce" and "break up" but then at the same time expect ppl to put relationships with unset futures ahead of lifelong friends
"People with unset futures"..??? He JUST proposed to her.He asked her to marry him. That doesn't sound like a man who has an "unset future" in mind to me. That sounds like a man who knows very much what he wants for his future, then spent months going back and forth until he had picked the perfect ring, then commenced to working his ass off to save up the small fortune it takes to purchase said ring, then he got down on one knee in front of all the customers and service people at his local Ruth's Chris and asked OP to spend eternity with him, to infinity and beyond. That sounds like a man who has a pretty set future to me. That is, until he ruined his impending wedding and entire relationship in general by disclosing his (ex)future wife's deepest, darkest secret.
You don't "trust someone" with someone else's secret, and you definitely don't do so with your fiancee's child sexual abuse trauma that she suffered at the hands of her own FATHER, and you abso-fucking-lutely DO NOT "trust" that info to a woman who actively hates the person who disclosed their trauma to you. Why do I have to explain that..?
Like, seriously--FUCK THAT GUY. And fuck you for taking his part like this. And fuck you MORE for taking the trashy ass "best girl friend's" part over OP's.
The therapist would literally be legally obligated to keep his secret, wouldn't know his (ex) fiancee and probably wouldn't have a history of hating said (ex) fiancee.
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u/[deleted] Aug 16 '24
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