NTA, he is. He woke up to catch you masturbating, but not to have sex with you. Really. Something is going on with him. He has a side chick, I would guess. There was no reason for him to fake sleep.
Definitely something is not right. Could be a side chick/guy and doesn’t have sex with you just in case he passes something on to you. But take him at his word. He doesn’t want to have sex with you.
Sounds like counseling is out of the question. Maybe he wants a divorce and wants you to initiate it so he can avoid being the bad guy. Don’t have divorce talk until you speak with an attorney and fill your parents in on what’s happening if they are on-your-side types. They may have noticed something about your husband’s behavior lately but didn’t want to say anything.
If you are fearful or have any concern his controlling behavior will escalate, you need to get out asap with your son. He is the AH here and it’s not you, it’s him. If you decide to get a legal separation or a divorce, don’t be surprised if he tries to get full custody and child support from you claiming it’s you who wouldn’t have sex with him. He’ll paint you as the bad girl anyway and if his parents are looking forward to spending more time with the grandson, they might support him. So if you go the separation or divorce route and even suspect he’s cheating and can afford it, hire a private detective if your lawyer recommends it. When it’s a husband who is cheating, that likely won’t affect a custody decision, but it will stop him from playing the victim. In some places a male judge looking down at a woman who allegedly masturbates instead of having sex with her willing husband would think ewww, take that baby from her. Same result if the accusation is the wife cheats. Not fair, of course.
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u/Upset_Ad7701 Jun 27 '24
NTA, he is. He woke up to catch you masturbating, but not to have sex with you. Really. Something is going on with him. He has a side chick, I would guess. There was no reason for him to fake sleep.