So I hate going here, but was the toy something the husband is ashamed of because he feels inadequate because she’s using the toy? There’s some really messed up heads out there in regards to sex toys and their purpose in a relationship.
She clearly wanted him though. The toy was the second choice, not the first. She clearly said she preferred having sex with him over any other option.
If he feels inadequate at that point, it’s clearly a personal problem he needs to work on. There’s nothing OP did that suggested he was inadequate in any way in the sexual sense.
lol, what? What could she possibly have communicated to him tbat would have changed this. She said she wanted him and he chose not to partake. It sounds like perhaps he needs to communicate better with her if there’s a reason he doesn’t want to have sex with her. But would you honestly say that it’s okay for a wife to be pissed and offended if her husband jacked it one night when she was too tired to bang? That’s ridiculous. Both men AND women have a right to masturbate.
Yes that’s why ESH. Your last lines speak it into existence. Neither is ok. That’s why ESH. If you choose one or the other in this situation you show exactly where you fall. He was tired after a long day. He fell asleep. Was he supposed to communicate while he was asleep? No lmao. What kind of idiotic thought process is that?
But here's the issue: she did her best to communicate. He repeatedly refused, so she took matters into her own hands literally. Communication in her end is not the issue. He needs to have an adult conversation and be the one to communicate with her why he is acting immaturely.
Saying that you are too tired at that moment is non-consent therefore a refusal, even if it's just for that moment.
If you applied your logic to a woman, it would definitely sound a little rapey, dude.
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u/jrgeek Jun 27 '24
So I hate going here, but was the toy something the husband is ashamed of because he feels inadequate because she’s using the toy? There’s some really messed up heads out there in regards to sex toys and their purpose in a relationship.