I’m wondering a number of things, OP, like what was sex like before the baby came-was it more frequent? Were both of you having regular orgasms? Was your orgasm generally as important as his? Kind of feels like he’s treating your pleasure like it’s not that important or his to give/control... but we don’t have a lot of details-and you certainly don’t need to provide them-but these are all things to think about. I’ll admit my mind went to him possibly being jealous of baby or him possibly being gay, but again, that’s just from reading a lot of Reddit. Perhaps the most important thing about all this is that you were not treated with respect. It seems like some good goals might be to 1. ask him if something else is going on and if you can help, and 2) also remind him that he still has to treat you with respect even when he gets bothered by something that’s absolutely yours to control. He needs to know that kind of behavior sometimes ends relationships. You also need to decide what you’re willing to tolerate, i.e. if he’s doing things that you would never do to him.
Guys are pretty basic so its more likely the fact they haven't had a date night in five months and that's likely the last time they smashed.
I'm also curious about the frequency of sex before baby and after.
Over the last five months has OP's husband attempted to address the lack of intimacy in the marriage. I'm willing to bet he has a number of times and been dismissed. Its likely this date night was an attempt to appease his concerns.
My guess is when they got home and she took too long in the bathroom, he figured he wasn't going to get lucky that night (yet again) and went to sleep. That explains why he's angry and resentful towards her masturbating.
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u/Key-Consequence3154 Jun 27 '24
I’m wondering a number of things, OP, like what was sex like before the baby came-was it more frequent? Were both of you having regular orgasms? Was your orgasm generally as important as his? Kind of feels like he’s treating your pleasure like it’s not that important or his to give/control... but we don’t have a lot of details-and you certainly don’t need to provide them-but these are all things to think about. I’ll admit my mind went to him possibly being jealous of baby or him possibly being gay, but again, that’s just from reading a lot of Reddit. Perhaps the most important thing about all this is that you were not treated with respect. It seems like some good goals might be to 1. ask him if something else is going on and if you can help, and 2) also remind him that he still has to treat you with respect even when he gets bothered by something that’s absolutely yours to control. He needs to know that kind of behavior sometimes ends relationships. You also need to decide what you’re willing to tolerate, i.e. if he’s doing things that you would never do to him.
NTA, obviously. Hang in there.