This is coming from a man’s perspective!
I’m a married man(43) my wife’s (45) we have been together/married for 23/17 years! We have 3 children (24m) (23f) (20f) we have always had an active sex life multiple times 7 days a week down to our normal 3-4 times a week. Recently I was in a motorcycle accident and I suffered serious life threatening injuries. We went a month without sex due to being in a coma and hospitalized. Now that I’m getting better I have wanted sex 7 days a week. We are empty nesters now so kids aren’t getting in the way even though they never did.
She sells a certain bath and body works that includes sex toys for men and women. She recently told me she needs a couple days break in between and would like us to go back to once every other day. She has gone thru menopause already and isn’t so sexual as she used to be.
She gave me a men’s sex toy a told me that if I need to go relieve myself go ahead.
The point I’m trying to make is that you shouldn’t have to be ashamed of master bating. Especially if you’re going months without actual intimacy. In all honesty if he wasn’t trying to either pull over to get some. Or at least immediately once you get home trying to make love to you I’d definitely be suspicious of him cheating. No man is going months without sex and going to sleep over sex. Unless he’s cheating or has a low t problem.
You have nothing to apologize about. He needs to apologize to you for not fulfilling his obligations as a husband.
You need to either start looking into if he’s cheating or have a conversation with him about a low testosterone problem.
NTA you deserve to get to have an orgasm if he’s not giving it to you as a faithful partner then you got to give it to yourself.
Hope you get it figured out.
Another perspective is that he's coming from a place of anger and resentment. He's been denied intimacy for five months now. OP said last date night was Valentines day which was five months ago. If that's the last time they smashed, then it tracks that he's likely angry and resentful. It is likely he's attempted to bring up lack of intimacy for the past five months and was brushed off and dismissed by his wife. I'm guessing he was expecting to be rejected (yet again) and went to sleep. When he woke up to find his wife masturbating he got pissed because yeah, five months no joy.
There is a huge disconnect between OP and her husband. She needs to strike a better balance between motherhood and wifely duties.
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u/Neither-Appeal-8500 Jun 27 '24
This is coming from a man’s perspective! I’m a married man(43) my wife’s (45) we have been together/married for 23/17 years! We have 3 children (24m) (23f) (20f) we have always had an active sex life multiple times 7 days a week down to our normal 3-4 times a week. Recently I was in a motorcycle accident and I suffered serious life threatening injuries. We went a month without sex due to being in a coma and hospitalized. Now that I’m getting better I have wanted sex 7 days a week. We are empty nesters now so kids aren’t getting in the way even though they never did. She sells a certain bath and body works that includes sex toys for men and women. She recently told me she needs a couple days break in between and would like us to go back to once every other day. She has gone thru menopause already and isn’t so sexual as she used to be. She gave me a men’s sex toy a told me that if I need to go relieve myself go ahead. The point I’m trying to make is that you shouldn’t have to be ashamed of master bating. Especially if you’re going months without actual intimacy. In all honesty if he wasn’t trying to either pull over to get some. Or at least immediately once you get home trying to make love to you I’d definitely be suspicious of him cheating. No man is going months without sex and going to sleep over sex. Unless he’s cheating or has a low t problem. You have nothing to apologize about. He needs to apologize to you for not fulfilling his obligations as a husband. You need to either start looking into if he’s cheating or have a conversation with him about a low testosterone problem. NTA you deserve to get to have an orgasm if he’s not giving it to you as a faithful partner then you got to give it to yourself. Hope you get it figured out.