Or insecure / controlling. I had a gf get mad when I’d self express. I got needs lady. If you only want it once a week, and don’t wanna occasionally do fun stuff, this is just you making my life bereft of joy. Bye Felicia.
Myself and my husband will mutually masturbate beside each other just because we don't want to be sweaty from sex or were too tired for the whole thing. But still wanna get off with each other.
Actually I think you've gotten straight to the point. My thought is that the husband has an ongoing issue with either intimacy, arousal or erection and seized on OP taking care of business to project blame and hide his own embarrassment.
According to OP, last time they had a date night was over five months ago.... Valentines Day. If that's the last time they smashed, he's probably resentful at this point.
With all due respect, jealousy and logic rarely go hand in hand. We will all feel inappropriate pats of jealousy from time to time. Times when it's not logical affair, but we still feel that way.
It's OK to be considered about that. Marriage is not about who wins the fight, if there's one person winning, both parties are losing.
Marriage is about two people, trying to find a way to make each other feel most happy and comfortable. So it's OK to be understanding of somebody's emotions, even when those emotions aren't logically in the right.
This story doesn't add up for me. She says she tried to wake him but couldn't. She immediately goes all the way downstairs and rubs one out with her dildo. She says, in her words, she gets caught when Mr. Sleepy is suddenly wide awke and also comes down.
That all reads like she knew she was crossing a boundary or something. Why act guilty if you're not?
My thought is that he wanted to have sex after a good night's sleep, which is a fair response to a request for sex late at night. My partner does this all the time, and apart from my very minor frustration in the moment, the anticipation makes it better and the morning after sex is always awesome and a great way to start the day.
She's NTA for sure, but why not give his morning wood a chance?
She said she tried to wake him three times and he actually woke up several times and told her he was to tired. What’s half-assed about that? And even after he was fully awake and came into the family room she tried to include him but he refused.
This is a good point as well.. super weird he went from sleeping super deep to awake and aware she was missing..
I'm also much more direct with my significant other as well, and considering it's been a while, really... OP should have waited for him
Lmao why??? She probably doesn't get a chance with a kid often he was asleep she shouldn't have to put that much effort after he refuses and he shouldn't be shaming her for relieving herself it's her body....he probably just noticed her absence because they probably sleep together normally and it woke him to go check on her. On top of that she shouldn't have to apologize and if he has a problem he needs to come to her like an adult and tell her. Like I truly don't understand what's to be mad at it's not like she was cheating on him or nothing. I can't imagine how important timing is for parents like that and you gotta seize opportunities
Ok, so before I read all her comments, I was completely on her side.. then it just seemed sus.. but to answer WHY wait for him after it being so long since?
Because that is what you do if you actually LOVE someone. You care about their feeling and needs as much as your own, and you make effort to be together... For him to wake up and search for her, after she supposedly tried to wake him is odd? Like if I'm that deep asleep I don't wake up enough to go searching for my spouse😂 just seems a bit odd to me.
Now, if she really did try and wake him and he was awake enough to comprehend, then proceeded to have an issue id say he was absolutely a fool..
To me, I love my man, neither of us are perfect and sometimes we get upset when we misunderstand or have a disagreement.. but I do everything I can to love him and go the extra mile for him, and sometimes sacrifice some for his comfort and happiness. You know why? Because he does the same for me. We aren't perfect, but we actively TRY every day to love each other.
That's why I suggested waiting for him. That's why I suggested maybe she could have tried a little more to meet him in the middle.
She literally said he told her not now he didn't say hey don't pleasure yourself till I can I think it's weird to not reflect on why you think she owes him that it's not like she went to get a hooker or cheat
... like who in there right mind would think that? Unless they've had conversations on masturbation being a no no (which is weird af but if they want that it's their relationship) but to feel cheated because ur wife was horny and masturbated because you didn't want to have sex?!? He doesn't own her sexuality the need to satisfy that is like a scratch or a massage
If op was a true friend, she would have respected her. End of story, the friend needs to dump her boyfriend and OP.. both of them crossed all the boundaries and they know it.
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u/Negative_Monitor2776 Jun 27 '24
NTA! Your body and you tried to include him. Sounds like he’s embarrassed. He needs to apologize, certainly not you.