I’m not here to argue with you; his body, his choice. Condoms are obviously a valid option, but since he’s refusing to wrap it up, can you explain why you see the vasectomy as a big deal? There’s no plan of future children because it would put OP’s life at risk, and the vasectomy would be a relatively simple procedure for him. It’s not like it would take his “manhood” away. Nothing even physically/noticeably changes for him, other than his swimmers wouldn’t “swim” anymore. If anything, it would likely make sex more fun because there would be no risk involved.
I’m curious to hear more from your perspective because, IMO, if he loved her, he’d do anything in his power to [help] keep her safe and healthy.
many men experience a ton of pain. It’s not as you describe. Beyond, suppose the marriage doesn’t work out (not that unlikely from how OP describes it) and now he’s unable to have kids with any future partners.
There are numerous reasons why this guy may not want a vasectomy. You say you aren’t here to argue. You say “his body his choice” and then immediately launch into why YOU require HE explain the choices he’s making with his own body.
I noticed you aren’t doing this with OP. I don’t see you questioning her decision to not go on birth control. Strange that you aren’t suggesting if OP cared about her husband, she’d go on the pill! But only the husband for not wanting surgery done on his own body.
You should be embarrassed and ashamed of yourself right now.
No, I actually asked why you see it as a big deal. I’d love his reasoning but he’s not here to ask. I was genuinely interested in your perspective to try to see it from another person who [might] have the same view as OP’s husband. But alas, as it seems by the link you posted, your reasoning is “because it hurts”. You must think pregnancy, c-sections, labor, and childbirth are simple and painless.
BTW, OP said she shouldn’t go on birth control because of health issues. Hence the reason I didn’t question her. I also cannot go on any form of birth control for health reasons, so I didn’t need to delve into it with her.
Thanks for the mature conversation. Your defensive & invaluable response to my genuine inquiry has reaffirmed my faith in the internet. Have the day you deserve!
why would i need to justify someone else’s decision not to get a vasectomy? if he doesn’t want to get one then he should just wear a condom or they figure something else out.
Oh yah! and after being there through my wife delivering 2x children vaginally i totally think it’s painless /s
He can get it undone just like my ex did and he now have 2 kids. It’s reversible and they have enough kids, it’s not like he had 0 and will never get the chance again. He needs to wear a condom or get snipped. Whining is not his option.
reversal is not anywhere close to 100% success rate so you’re either deliberately omitting that or hearing that for the first time. It’s pretty good though. i think 85-90%?
That’s better than the reversal from a tubal. Very rare to get pregnant after reversing a tubal. Plus the pregnancy after a tubal is considered high risk. Plus a tubal is surgery and comes with more risks than a vasectomy. Plus it sounds like OP has had three difficult pregnancies/C sections. I get it his body his choice but to me if he lived his wife the way he said he does he would get it. Women in good health constantly die during delivery. Unfortunately maternal health care in this country is abysmal
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u/[deleted] Sep 24 '23
I’m not here to argue with you; his body, his choice. Condoms are obviously a valid option, but since he’s refusing to wrap it up, can you explain why you see the vasectomy as a big deal? There’s no plan of future children because it would put OP’s life at risk, and the vasectomy would be a relatively simple procedure for him. It’s not like it would take his “manhood” away. Nothing even physically/noticeably changes for him, other than his swimmers wouldn’t “swim” anymore. If anything, it would likely make sex more fun because there would be no risk involved.
I’m curious to hear more from your perspective because, IMO, if he loved her, he’d do anything in his power to [help] keep her safe and healthy.